Michigan, y’all.

Last Thursday at around 3:45 am, off-duty police officer Andrew Mulder, was .08 drunk.  Honey, that’s too damn drunk to stand up.  So he did the next best thing.

He shot himself in the knee.  I am pretty certain that there’s a good story behind this because I don’t care how drunk you are shooting yourself in the knee is pretty damn stoopid.

I mean, you wouldn’t be trying to commit suicide and if you were passed out on the bed, shooting yourself in the knee would require Olympic gymnast skills. Maybe he was doing a self-field-sobriety test and things went whacky.

I suspect Officer Mulder will tell us how this happened, but it’s only Sunday so he probably hasn’t sobered up enough yet.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Y’all surely remember Ken Starr, the guy who just couldn’t stop thinking about Bill Clinton getting a consensual blow job?

The job he got after that was President of Baylor University, the Baptist Blackboard in Waco, where he disgraced himself and Baylor over … yeah, s-e-x.

Starr, a former judge and lawyer, was ousted by Baylor in 2016 amid the school’s infamous sexual assault scandal. He had been accused of severely mishandling the situation, which was brought to the school’s attention in 2015 after a pair of football players were convicted.

What it boiled down to is that he couldn’t stop being horrified by consensual sex but forced sex was fine and dandy with him.

He was asked to leave Baylor.  So, after failing miserably at two jobs, he’s primed and ready to serve in the Trump administration.

Ken Starr — the disgraced ex-president of Baylor University — is being considered for a post in the Trump administration, a report said Thursday night.

The 70-year-old Texan is currently a front-runner to lead the Office of International Religious Freedom, according to Foreign Policy.

Lemme see here – the former President of Baylor wants worldwide religious freedom?  You mean like freedom to be a Baptist or a Methodist?

The Republicans have a brilliant plan.  They do something dirty nasty horrible to try to kill democracy and then they wave bright shiny things in my face to keep me from remembering the dirty nasty horrible thing to destroy democracy that they did in the first place.

I am easily distracted by shiny crap. I know that because I can go driving around looking at Christmas lights and never really remember any of them individually because I’m distracted by the house across the street before I commit any of them to memory.

So ….

I am wondering, is this Important or is it Shiny Crap? Michael Flynn palling-around with the Russians.

Reuters reported last month, citing three sources familiar with the matter, that Flynn had held five phone calls with Kislyak on Dec. 29, the day then-President Barack Obama retaliated for Moscow’s alleged interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

The Post said Flynn on Wednesday denied that he had discussed sanctions with the Russian ambassador, but on Thursday backed away from the denial through a spokesman.

You know, that would be kinda bad, especially since President Obama fired Flynn for being a hysterical, Chicken Little whiny butt jackass.  Did Flynn call Russia and say, “Don’t worry about the black guy because we can fix this?”

It sounds like a really big deal but only because I think it may be a trinket on the Christmas tree of Russian interference in our election.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I don’t even know the score yet, With a unanimous decision, but the federal court ruled against Trump.

Bubba says you better go hug a damn lawyer.

Yeah, Trump must  be tired of winning, that’s it.

And, Republican Jason Chaffetz is referring Kellyanne Conway to the House Oversight Committee for an ethics investigation.

South of the Border, down Mexico way
Is the land where the narcos and rapists all play
Sent here to kill us all, one at a time
Or force us to drink warm Corona, no lime
Or steal all our taxes and take all our jobs
So say all of Don’s nattering nabobs
They also sneak terrorists over the border
In dynamite zoot-suits, hand-made to order
To believe this is true in part, or at all
Means support Donnie and his yuge new wall

With cantaloupe calves and hulking wet backs
The Mexican threat is alternative facts

Donnie’s a smart guy, smarter than most
Smarter than all is his usual boast
Short thumbs a-flying and teeth all a-gnashing
His eyes all a-rolling and sometimes a-flashing
His brain all a-boil with smart thoughts a-gush
He poops out as tweets before his first flush
You may think he’s nuts, or that he’s a moron
Because he schools generals on how to get war on
He ignores intelligence on peace or on war
He’s never had need to use it before

Surrounded by sycophants, flunkies and hacks
“I’m a really smart guy” is alternative facts

Rex is an oilman, trotting the globe
Ben a brain surgeon, missing a lobe
Betsy an idiot in charge of school
Sessions a white supremacy tool
Perry’s Department of Energy
He would destroy, if he could count three
Mnuchin stole houses from folks in a jam
Pruit thinks climate change is just a scam
Millionaires, billionaires, brain dead jamokes
Without any actual capable folks

Kakistocrats and corporate flacks
Mean “draining the swamp” is alternative facts

The world respects me, not like Barack
I can tell Syria from Iran or Iraq
I won’t take Vladimir Putin’s jive
Frederick Douglass is still alive
Every chick wants me, that’s why I grab
My hair color’s real; I have no flab
The jews and the blacks and the gays they all love me
In all of my worlds, there’s no one above me
My crowds are the hugest, so’s my junk too
Reports to the contrary just aren’t true

With a dolt for a teacher, this autodidact
Donald J Trump IS alternative fact