Things have been a tad gloomy between Paul Ryan and Donald Trump.

So to spice things up, Breitbart releases a tape of a conference call with Paul Ryan blasting Donald Trump last October.

Because I care deeply about your well-being, I will not send you to Breitbart.  Here’s the pertinent parts of the call.

So the division between Trump and Ryan just got wider than a barn door.  Trump values loyalty.  Ryan values Ryan.

The best I can figure is that Bannon decided that Ryan was getting too much Trump attention.  Jealousy is not pretty.

Thanks to modern technology, Obama can now tweet pictures of Trump’s TV dinner straight from the microwave.

And you thought landing a man on the moon was cool?

Question: isn’t it fun to watch KellyAnne pedal backwards?

Okay, my deadline for OutSmart is approaching at the speed of light and I’ve hit a dead end.

I am doing the Top Ten Signs that Donald Trump Might Be Off The Deep End

10. You’re pretty sure he isn’t old enough to have freed the slaves.

9.  Claims to have more experience in foreign affairs than in extra-martial affairs.

8.  You’re almost certain that no one named Vladimir signed the Declaration of Independence.

7.  Claims that thick smog is actually an important drinkable source of vitamins and minerals.

6. Now claiming he never made any deal with Russia while he was the Australian Prime Minister.

5. Claims that nuclear war isn’t so bad after you get over the initial bright light.

4.  He starts adding syllables to words to make his accomplishments  seem more impressimilatude .

3. ?

2. ?

1. ?

Any ideas?

Thank you.

Texas Democratic State Representative Jessica Farrar is a damn hoot and smart to boot.

Since Republicans in Texas have decided to spend the entire session making abortion impossible and checking genitals prior to entering a restroom, Jessica decided that turn about is fair play.

Under her bill, men would be fined $100 for masturbating.

In proposing a fine for masturbation, Farrar says that if a man’s semen is not used to create a pregnancy, “then it’s a waste … because that semen can be used — and is to be used — for creating more human life.”

Farrar continued: “Men have to answer for their actions and so forth. So if there’s going to be an emission, it would have to be done in a hospital where the semen could be preserved for future pregnancies or it would be directly deposited into the vagina of a woman.”

Head on over and read some of the comments.  Prepare your soul for eye rolling.

Ruth Anne passed along this fun thing to do.  It’s called The Ides of Trump.

On March 15th, send a postcard to —

Your message on the back can be about anything – the military budget, the Russians, healthcare, you name it.

Take a picture of your postcard and post it on social media.

Let’s flood that sumbitch with people who are pissed off.

By the way, postcards are very effective.  You can buy them at the post office or make them yourself by cutting card stock into fourths.  The stamps are 34 cents for buy a mess of them.

Late last week Illinois Republican Rep. John Shimkus got steamed at Pennsylvania Democrat Mike Doyle.

Shimkus was powerfully upset with the “mandate” in Obamacare that men have to pay for pre-natal care.  I suspect that’s because in Republican-World, men don’t have anything at all to do with pregnancy nor do they benefit in any manner whatsoever in healthy women or healthy babies.

Democrat Doyle pointed out that there is no such thing as a la carte insurance and that insurance companies don’t give you a list of what you want covered.  But, hollers Shimkus, that’s what I want! He wants people to be able to negotiate with the insurance companies for what things they want covered.

That’s stoopid. There are diseases and viruses that don’t even have names yet. Plus, can you even imagine – “Yes, you are covered if you get struck by lightening but not if your friends gets struck by lightening and then touches you. There is no touch clause in you policy.”

Republicans are idiots.  Idiots with testicles that I should not have to pay for.  Welcome to reality, Mr. Shimkus, your insurance premium on testicular cancer just doubled.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.