I am easily one to laugh at photos of people who make selfies with Republican politicians while wearing an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt. Or wearing a t-shirt with a screw drilled through a baseball and an arrow pointing to the one fooled.

I am easily entertained, and they’re so easily duped.

So it should come as no surprise that when the Florida governor got a taste of Iowan photographic humor I just had to lift the pic from the Tampa Bay Times.

Lookie here what a FOIA request turned up about Ron DeSantis after he claimed to be a naval pilot.

Uh, maybe not so much.

Bless his heart, Capt. DeSantis was the Asst. Urinalysis Coordinator. The assistant. I mean, he wasn’t even the head urinalysis coordinator.

I have my doubts he was any good at it since most of his coordination experience seems to come from the other end.

And, no, I don’t have anything better to do with my time. It’s pollen season here and I’m trapped inside with a loud HEPA filter. Damn, baseball season better start soon.

t’s happened again. I guarantee that it happens on a nearly annual basis. An enterprising legislator will put forth a bill to separate Texas from the union. This time it’s Bryan Slaton to the rescue.

https://twitter.com/BryanforHD2/status/1632807777759313921

We are at the looking glass and the reflection staring back at us is our own idiocy. The civil war of the 21st century isn’t over slavery, race relations, the haves and have nots, or even any kind of coherent policy. It’s wokeness. This is where GOP frontrunner Ron DeSantis has planted his flag. This is the battle ground of a new generation.

What does wokeness mean? They really can’t tell you. They really don’t want to tell you. It’s better if they just leave it up to your worst imagination. You can see the signs around town, “The Church Awake and not Woke.” Sure. Obviously, a true believer cannot be woke. Except if we apply the meaning of woke we realize how mind numbingly stupid this sounds.

The modern dictionary defines wokeness as “the quality of being alert and concerned about social injustice and discrimination.” Yup. We don’t want to be a part of any country that has anything to do with that. We don’t want Christianity to be mixed up with any of that mumbo jumbo. That’s just crazy talk.

Davy Crockett famously said that everyone else could go to hell and he would go to Texas. Who knew that they might end up being one in the same. Who knew that those of us that might even casually worry about the welfare of their fellow people would be held hostage by a mob of idiots. After all, it’s a lot easier to say you are anti-woke then to say you are against equality and human decency.

I don’t want my friends in Texas to think they are completely alone in CRAZZZY. It’s all a matter of degree. The CRAZZZY is everywhere.

The rumors I’d been hearing since the weekend were confirmed by a reliable source. Good Old (Boy) Klickitat County even made the OPB radio news broadcast. I think I’ve mentioned our Constitutional Sheriff, Bob Songer who won reelection by 150 votes. Since reelection, his undersheriff, a onetime election challenger, requested to be reassigned to detective. Songer accommodated him, then promoted the county jailer to undersheriff, creating an opening for a $94,000 a year job at the County Jail. That’s a pretty good salary by Klickitat County standards (2020 median household income $56,667). One would think there’d be lots of applicants.

Well, old Bob had trouble filling that slot so he called his good buddy Loren Culp, fellow Constitutional Sheriff, failed gubernatorial and CD4 candidate, to see if he needed a job. Culp has been hanging out in Moses Lake, about 3 hours’ drive away, since losing 2 elections. He’d had his butt handed to him running against Jay Inslee in 2018, then set his sights on Rep. Dan Newhouse in 2020, who pissed him off by voting to impeach Trump. He didn’t make it out of the Top Two Primary for that one. The Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Association named Culp “Police Chief of the Decade” while running for office and doing his thing in Republic, WA (pop 1,060), way up near the Canadian border, where he grew up. Old Bob just got “Sheriff of the Year” but the politics bonded them. Both men were outspoken opponents of a gun safety law passed with overwhelming support in the WA legislature in 2018. Neither of these upstanding LEOs would enforce enhanced background checks or a raise in age from 18 to 21 for purchasing semi-automatic rifles, among other reasonable things, and were very public about their opinions.

This will be a big step up for Culp. Klickitat County (pop 23,000) and the county seat Goldendale (pop 3,500) will be like the ‘big city’ in comparison to his former digs. According to Songer, Culp’s qualifications for running the jail include that he was “not only an honorable individual, he’s a religious individual and supports the Constitution for the citizens”. Checks all of Songer’s boxes for hiring process. Won’t support gun safety laws, check. Makes racist and insensitive remarks while campaigning, check. Endorsed by TFG. Check. Ten Years of Law Enforcement experience in Republic. Check. Thinks like me. Check. Some folks surmise that Sheriff of the Year, age 77, is lining up his replacement. Ya think?

After close inspection and deep intellectual thought, I have decided that Tucker Carlson’s play-acting adoration of TFG is probably pretty much the same way hookers talk about their pimp when he ain’t around.

The Washington Post has it.

Hey, I gotta admit that it’s hard for me to think of Tucker Carlson and the word passionately in the same thought balloon.  That right there is just a shiver looking for a spine to run up.

But it wasn’t just Trump they hated. Hell Honey, they hated each other.  The whole place is just a bubbling caldron of blonde hair bleach, bought souls, and Tucker’s smoldering underwear.

If you’ve got a bit of voyeur in you, here’s a real, actual text message I got sent by my undercover agent. Click on it to enlarge it, or however your computer machine makes it bigger.

I could stay up all night reading this stuff.  I’d have to order highlighters by the carton, but it would be worth it.

Y’all, there’s more coming. I just know it.

Well, it happened, Texas Republican State Representative Bryan Slaton has filed to bill holding a vote on Texas secession from the Union.

If Slaton is successful, in our next election we will get to vote on whether or not to secede.  The last time that happened was when General Sam Houston, a goddam genuine Texas hero, resigned as Governor of Texas, a job he loved dearly, instead of becoming a traitor and leaving the United States of America as the fruitcakes all wanted to do then, too.  To this day, General Sam is known as the best Governor Texas ever had, drunk or sober.

Texas would not survive a month without the federal government. For gosh sake, Texas doesn’t even have a dependable power grid because 30 years of Republican government squandered all our oil and the money that went with it. The banks would crash within 24 hours cause nobody would trust Greg Abbott to insure our savings. First thing to go would be our social security checks, medicare, food inspection, a trade policy, and every damn military base supporting the economies of Texas cities.

I’m pretty damn sure this won’t be the last of me pitching a wall eyed snot nosed hissy fit about this.