Ted Cruz is now making me wonder if he has a metric ton of hydroxychloroquine stored in a warehouse somewhere.  We’re talking here about a guy who just won’t give up.

In January, just six weeks after the Justice Department announced a raft of fraud charges against Sam Bankman-Fried, founder and CEO of crypto exchange FTX, Sen. Ted Cruz introduced a resolution calling for businesses operating in the U.S. Capitol building to begin accepting bitcoin and other digital currency.

Yeah, he’s all big on digital currency and the only damn reason anybody can figure out why is (1) Cruz thinks he’s smarter than you and feels giddy about the possibility of cheating you out of all your money, and (2) he’s an anarchist.

Here’s my favorite part about all this —

“Most members of Congress don’t understand crypto, yet they are hell-bent on regulating an industry they know nothing about,” Cruz said in a statement, after declining an interview request.

I’ll bet you some cash American money that he denied the request for an interview because there might be questions involved and he doesn’t know diddle damn squat about crypto currency.

According to this Huffpost article, TFG had better pay attention to the CPAC straw poll conducted last week that had him winning their presidential preference poll with 62% of the vote.

According to political analyst Susan Del Percio, this is “a horrible result”.

“Sixty-two percent of CPAC in a straw poll is a horrible result for [TFG],” Del Percio said on MSNBC. “I mean, this has been dubbed TPAC. This is [TFG’s] show, and he can only get 62% of his own people.”

But unlike Meat Loaf’s (RIP) conclusion in his cult classic hit “Bat Out Of Hell”, two out of three IS bad.

TFG getting only 2 out of 3 votes at his own convention is truly a bad, bad thing.

Ask Tom DeLay.

In the Republican primary of 2006, Congresscreep Tom DeLay (R – TX 22), got just shy of 62% of the total vote in a field of 4.

So was that a mandate? Not to Tom. To Tom DeLay that was horrible news. DeLay saw this as such a poor showing that he didn’t want to go to the trouble of running against the winner of the Democratic primary (in a field of 1), former Congressman Nick Lampson.

To Tom DeLay, with this kind of result, the handwriting was on the wall and he was done.

So he dropped out of the race, and Lampson ran against a GOP-annointed write-in candidate in the craziest election that this Californian had ever seen.

So TFG needs to put his ketchup bottle down and pay attention. 62% ain’t gonna cut it. Not in TX CD-22, and not in the USA.

Two out of three may have worked for Meat Loaf, but it didn’t work for Tom DeLay, and sure as H-E double hockey sticks won’t work for TFG.

Okay, so we’ve seen this trick before.  Politician gets somebody to write a book for them that nobody is going to buy but … if they want to get it on the best seller list and make some tax free money for themselves, they simply have other people buy their books by the ton for illiterate people.

I can prove that all day long.

So right there, you’ve got over $22,000 for Ron DeSantis books in Tennessee where they will never see the glory of a bookshelf or a price tag.  These are for “event expenses” in Georgia. Yeah, Georgia.  And, Alabama. Tickets are $250 each so a free book for everybody ain’t really a big expense.

And Ron’s kickback on the books can be deposited into his campaign fund, which is tax-free, which he can then use for any damn thing he wants to.

No points for originality, Ron, but heads up on playing the game.

Meet Texas Republican Congressman Tony Gonzales.  He represents Uvalde, Texas.

Up until recently, Texas Southern Baptists would use the threat of “de-churching” people who didn’t follow the Southern Baptist interpretion of the scripture. That could fall anywhere between not tithing to raping the village.  It has fallen into disuse and that is pretty much why any small town in Texas always has a First Baptist Church and a Second Baptist Church, most of the time within blocks of each other.  Southern Baptist love Civil War.

Which brings us to the Republican Party of Texas and Tony Gonzales.  The Texas Republican Party is meeting this weekend to decide if they will censure Gonzales. Nobody is real clear on what that means in real life.  It could be a slap on the hand or the withdrawal of an endorsement and state money for his reelection.

And what evil act did Gonzales commit?

The complaint stems from a censure approved by the Medina County Republican Party earlier this month that says Gonzales failed to uphold the party’s values by voting in support of same-sex marriage, voting against the new GOP majority’s rules package and voting for a gun safety measure inspired by the the Uvalde school shooting. Gonzales broke with the rest of the state’s House Republicans on all three votes.

There are other disagreement about border security.  And smirking at Congressman Troy Nehls and his constant big ole cigars.

Anyway, they want to de-church the guy.  Think about it.  They won’t speak a negative damn word about George Santos but they want to nail this man to the cross of party values.

That’s Republican values.

A couple of days ago, I wrote right here …

Okay, so this week’s score on Republican goofiness puts newcomer Tennessee in the lead.  I’m sure Texas or Florida will ask Tennessee to hold their beer and watch this by at least Thursday.

Well, yep.

Texas has a crossdressing anti-drag state representative.  And it’s Thursday. So score one for Madam Swami Juanita and her Crystal Ball of Republican Embarrassment.

Nate Schatzline has made his entire personality attacking the LGBTQ community, trans especially children, and vowed to ban drag shows in Texas.

Here is Nate… in drag. #txlege #iToldYouSo pic.twitter.com/Lq25Mx7cgY

— Michelle (@LoneStarLeft) February 28, 2023

But, that’s not even the fun part. Here’s the fun part:

Schatzline, a first-term state representative and former pastor, did not immediately respond to NBC News’ request for comment. However, in a tweet shared Tuesday, he appeared to confirm his participation in the video.

“Y’all really going crazy over me wearing a dress as a joke back in school for a theatre project? Yah, that’s not a sexually explicit drag show… lol y’all will twist ANYTHING,” he wrote.

First of all, this is the first time I have seen a grown man use lol. It’s also the first time I’ve seen a Texan say “Yah.” What is that?  Is it some sexually explicit coded language? I dunno, but I’d bet on probably.

Second of all, you’re being an irony bomb by accusing “y’all” of twisting ANYTHING.  You seem to have that job all gift wrapped with a bow on top, Honey.

Well done, Texas.  Do I hear a bid from Florida?

Perhaps I’m not the right guy to deliver this particular message. After all, I had to remind my supervisor that I hadn’t sat in a math class in 25 years when he decided that I should support a high school Geometry class. However, I worked it and managed to survive on the other end. Understanding basic math is probably a bonus, but I have no way of knowing for sure. As far as I know, Geometry is mainly about triangles and stuff. It’s not like we were splitting the atom.

The notorious MTG might be the most brilliant mathematician in Congress. She has mistaken millions for billions more than once and even then the results were hilarious. A quick tutorial for Marge: a billion dollars is 1000 million. One billion people is 1000 million. In the case above, she said one school had gotten a 5.1 billion dollar grant. That’s amazing. I want to work at that school. I’m sure teachers are getting spa treatments and corporate retreats during their conference period.

MTG tweeted that since Biden took office, 6 billion people have crossed the border illegally. Also:
– Lauren Boebert stole her Friends lunchbox
– 50 trillion Chinese spy balloons have been disguised as decorations at birthday parties
– The Jewish space lasers bleached her hair pic.twitter.com/JIOVbK8P8C

— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) February 24, 2023

Maybe that is why I had 97 kids in my 6th period English class all of the sudden. Of course, I’m being sarcastic lest anyone believe we really have more than 100,000 kids in each high school. Then again, maybe we could accommodate those 100,000 kids if someone threw 5.1 billion our direction. Maybe the cross fit is starting to mess with her brain. Maybe the numbers of new billionaires has clouded her judgement about how much one billion actually is. Of course, it’s just more likely that she’s a dumbass. Remember children, numbers matter and we can’t just make up any stupid figure that enters your brain. Pencils down. This has been your daily math lesson with the notorious MTG.