Remember how all the “left over” inaugural money – more than twice what President Obama spent in 2009 – was going to charity?

Well, not so much.

Of the money, almost half of it was split between two firms, one of which was a firm started by an advisor to Melania Trump, that received $26 million.

One of the companies, WIS Media Partners of Marina del Rey, California, was created by a longtime friend of Mrs. Trump, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, according to a person familiar with the firm. Records show that the firm was created in December 2016, but otherwise there is very little information available about it.

Hey, little buddy, $26 million ain’t bad for less than two months.

Other fun stuff – the concert on the National Mall featuring performances by the country music star Toby Keith and the rock band Three Doors Down cost $25 million.

Security costs “are upward towards $100 million” but luckily for Trump, taxpayers will pay for that.  Maybe next time we can be the charity.

I wrote this in the summer of 2016 for a magazine where I work.  It was just after the last unspeakable horror in Florida, the Pulse nightclub.

I continue to scream.

Words to live by —

Thanks to Brian for the Twitter watch!

Well, there goes something that would have warmed my heart.

Kris Kobach, current Kansas Secretary of State and former chairman of Trump’s now defunct Advisory Commission on Election Integrity, has made a ruling that a dog cannot run for Governor of Kansas.

The Kansas Secretary of State’s Office says Angus cannot serve as the state’s governor. While there is nothing specifically written that says a dog cannot run to lead the state, the secretary state’s office says man’s best friend is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor.

I’m not saying this is dirty politics or anything but, Kobach has announced that he’s running for Governor.  I think he’s afraid the dog would beat him.  I mean, tis sweet dog has never said anything incredibly dumb or destroyed a whole Integrity Commission.  And part of the dog’s platform is that he has a “completely anti-squirrel agenda.”  I think Kobach took that personally.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

And coming to you from western Pennsylvania …

A pastor in western Pennsylvania is speaking out after being accused of open lewdness and indecent exposure after being caught by police with a bound naked man in a car parked on a public street.

No, no, wait, seriously. It was totally innocent.

The pastor, 61-year-old George Nelson Gregory of Munhall, Pa., tells KDKA-TV in Pittsburgh, “I was counseling a young man with a drug problem.”

“It did turn strange, but it wasn’t my doing, OK? And I was adamant that I’m not participating in that way. And so that’s when the police pulled up, and they assume things, but I’m standing by my story. It’s not true.”

Strange? Nah, it happens everyday for a pastor to be in a car with a bound nakkid young man on a public street in full view of nearby homes, for, you know, counseling.  No, I’m serious. It does.

Get a room, dude.  At least they have Gideon Bibles there.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Okay, so the Attorney General of the whole damn United States of America, Jeff Sessions, stood on his two feet way up on his tippie-toes  and praised sheriffs.

“The office of sheriff is a critical part of the Anglo-American heritage of law enforcement. We must never erode this historic office. I know this, you know this, we want to be partners, we don’t want to be bosses, we want to strengthen you and help you be more effective in your work,” Sessions told the National Sheriffs’ Association.

And I suspect he’s damn right.

But, here’s the fun part.

In an earlier version of the speech released by the Justice Department early Monday, the phrase “Anglo American” was not included. “The Sheriff is a critical part of our legal heritage,” did appear.

So he got up in that room filled with good ole white boys and felt it was only fitting to mention that bygawd sheriffs are mostly white boys.

(Heavy sigh.) No, it’s not enough for Jeff to be white. He wants to be neon white.

Thanks to Propane Jane for the heads up.