Warning: Do not, repeat do not, mess with professionals.

This is a great laugh.  Triumph the Insult Dog takes on Ted Cruz and the results are hysterical.  Please give yourself the gift of watching Ted Cruz mess with professionals.  Click right here.

Also, a little inside tip.  According to trustworthy Texas rumors, on Friday night, when Cruz’s team did analytics on the early voting turn out, the results were so bad that Cruz called Governor Abbott and asked him to infuse $3,000,000 into Cruz’s campaign right away.  Abbott gave him half a million because that’s all he felt like flushing down the toilet.

My long time Democratic friends are thrilled that Beto has not backed off any of his progressive positions and, ignoring the urgings of the “consultant class,” stayed a lefty in Texas.  He’s been the most successful Democratic candidate in Texas in 28 years because he rejected the Republican-Lite model.

Please keep your fingers crossed tonight.  It’s gonna be close.

Okay, so there’s this little surprise.

In a move that is being decried by several members of the Texas congressional delegation, the U.S. Border Patrol announced Monday that it would be conducting an Election Day crowd control exercise in El Paso, the hometown of Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate Beto O’Rourke.

This will be done right next to a Hispanic neighborhood.  On freekin’ election day.  In full riot gear.

Oh no, it could not have been done yesterday or tomorrow.  Nor could it have been announced a week ago so we could do something about it.  Nor could it have happened in any of the other 1,254 miles of Texas border with Mexico.

Sumbitches.

Thanks to AlaninAustin for the heads up.

They said it couldn’t be done, but Steve King did it.

All three is one sentence: Racism, Homophobia and Misogyny!

Congratulations Steve King!  You are today’s winner at Republican Haters and Their Ilk.

Thanks to Deb T for the heads up.

I know if you’re like me, you’ve been saying to yourself, “Oh boy, I sure to miss Rudy Giuliani.”

Rudy has turned up missing lately.  The man who once spouted almost 24 hours a day ain’t saying much.  In fact, if he’s quiet for two more days, his face is gonna start showing up on milk cartons.

I think we might have a lead.

A human rights organization has asked Dutch prosecutors to open a criminal investigation into multi-billion dollar money laundering schemes that they say were aided by Donald Trump’s lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, and his old law firm.

We’re not talking a little money.  We’re talking ten billion dollars.

He’s sitting in a safe somewhere counting his money.  It takes a long time to count that much money and come up with a plan to steal Trump’s part.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

My friend and fellow Texan Kary has retired to Spain but is still a diehard Democrat.

I don’t know how much theater you follow, but Kary entertains all his friends with theater stories.  He has the best stories. This morning he made me spray coffee out my nose.

Look! Rooster and Lilly St. Regis (the Mudges) showing up at the White House to collect the reward as Annie’s parents…..EEEEEEzy Street……EEEEEEzy Street

If you’re not a theater person, here’s the catch.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.