Okay, this story comes out to Tennessee, the birthplace of many a high IQ tales. This story is contained in a recently filed lawsuit.

Back about last February between 10 – 11 pm, Shandle Marie Riley dropped by a convenience store and bought some cigarettes and gas.  She then drove to a friend’s home where her minor daughter was visiting.

Shandle Riley

Deputy Daniel Wilkey had followed her from the convenience store to the driveway of the friend’s home. Deputy Wilkey ordered Shandle out of her car and told her that he believed she possessed methamphetamines.

According to Shandle, Deputy Wilkey searched “every area of her body,” including asking her to reach under her shirt “and pull out her bra and shake the bra and shirt.”  Shandle requested that a female officer be present for this but Wilkey said that wasn’t required.

This story hasn’t even gotten weird yet.

Deputy Wilkey asked if Shandle had anything illegal in her car. She admitted that she had a “roach” in a pack of cigarettes and gave it to him. He continued the search but found nothing.

He then asked her if she was saved and believed in Jesus.

Okay, it’s starting to get weird.

The lawsuit goes on to say Wilkey told Riley that “God was talking to him during the vehicle search, and [he] felt the Lord wanted him to baptize the plaintiff.,” and said that he felt “the spirit.”

Wilkey then told Riley to get towels inside the home for a baptism, and said he would issue her only a criminal citiation for marijuana and not take her to jail, according to the lawsuit. Riley says she got the towels, and followed Wilkey in his patrol car, not saying where he was taking her. Riley says she was afraid to ignore Wilkey and not do as he commanded.

So he takes her to the closest lake and asked another male deputy to meet them there, explaining that they needed a witness for the baptism to be “valid.”

The lawsuit says Wilkey then stripped down to his boxer shorts, and gave Riley the option to remove her clothes, which she declined. It says Wilkey then led her to waist deep, cold water, put one hand on her back and the other on her breasts, and submerged her underwater for “several moments.” At this moment, Riley says she “felt horribly violated.”

And totally creeped out, I imagine.

Wilkey issued her a citation for a tinted window violation and license tag obstruction, and says she admitted to having “a joint” in her car.

He didn’t mention the baptism.

The boys …

I don’t know this for a fact, but I think they need to pay for this story that they tell on every deer hunt, football game, bar hopping, and cop reunion.

The lawsuit is seeking $1,000,000 in compensatory damages and $10,000,000 in punitive damages. That sounds about fair.

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.

Or maybe he’s going to call his flying monkeys.

Y’all, I was totally creeped out by Trump’s ideas about how to torture migrants. I think he made the fence where you can see through it so he could watch people getting eaten by alligators and bitten by snakes.  How did he forget piranhas?  Or a batch of flesh eating viruses?

“Privately, the president had often talked about fortifying a border wall with a water-filled trench, stocked with snakes or alligators, prompting aides to seek a cost estimate. He wanted the wall electrified, with spikes on top that could pierce human flesh. After publicly suggesting that soldiers shoot migrants if they threw rocks, the president backed off when his staff told him that was illegal. But later in a meeting, aides recalled, he suggested that they shoot migrants in the legs to slow them down. That’s not allowed either, they told him.”

How ’bout we get a whole bunch of bowling balls and play a Knock Down A Migrant And Win a Prize game?

I think when his staff ruined all his fun about the spikes, the alligators, the kneecap shooting, and the electrification is when Trump came up with the idea to take their children away from them and put them in prisons where they’ll never see their parents again.  Which, in my mind, is the cruelest torture of all.

I’m so glad Trump is a Christian and protects Christian values — just imagine if he wasn’t.

There’s a good article in the Huffington Post today about the case.  If you enjoy reading depositions, this is a fun one.

There is also a hearing in Austin on Thursday that’s important to the progress of the case.  I cannot be there but I imagine I’ll get a report on it.

Thelma just decided that the coolest thing to ever happen would be if the whistleblower got the Nobel Prize and was named Time Magazine’s Person of the year.

I agree.

Just in case you were wondering what Vladimir Putin thinks about his liability in all this impeachment business, Reuters has come to your rescue.

The Kremlin said on Monday that Washington would need Russian consent to publish transcripts of phone calls between U.S. President Donald Trump and his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin.

Yeah, Vlad, what you gonna do if we ignore your thoughts on this subject and publish the transcripts anyway?  Go shirtless to the Bolshoi Ballet?  Quit being Donald Trump’s love interest? I mean, what do you think we have to lose – fair and free elections?

On the list of permissions we need, Putin’s permission ranks right below Lindsey Graham’s.

Thanks to Epp for the heads up.

New York Republican Representative Chris Collins was the first sitting congressman to endorse Donald Trump for President of the United States, and he served on Trump’s presidential transition team.

And for his encore, he’s going to prison.  And that’s how we drain the swamp.

Upstate US Rep. Chris Collins is expected to enter a guilty plea to charges relating to his alleged insider trading, according to court documents and a source familiar with the case.

His son and a friend are also involved and it appears they are copping to a plea, too.

Sadly, this is a very Republican district.