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There are certain wonderful privileges that go with being a world renowned hairdresser instead of a blogger.

Like this one.

Last night, Juanita closed down the salon and took the whole staff into Houston to hear Fort Bend native Paul Begala speak to the Harris County Democrats.  She got to schmooze a little with Paul.  He asked her if it is true that Fort Bend County went 49% for Obama.

“I looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘Boy howdy, ain’t that something?  We rearranged the furniture since you left.'”

“He asked how we did it, ” she continues with a grin, “and I told him that we went by the book.”

“And then,” she continued, “I got to introduce him to the man who is the brand spanking new State Rep for the district Paul grew up in.”

“Paul was tickled to death.  He reminded us that when he left Fort Bend, Tom DeLay was his State Rep.  Ron Reynolds is a mile closer to heaven than Tom DeLay will ever be.”

“And to top off a perfect evening, Paul’s high school social studies teacher, Don Drachenberg, was there to help welcome him back home.”

“They could be seen huddled-up and catching-up,” she smiles.

“I stay out of Houston politics because I’ve got a weed-infested garden to tend to here,” Juanita admits.  “However, when Paul Begala is in town, all bets are off.  If you haven’t heard him preach the story about man’s first question to God, you’ve missed a treat.”

“Paul Begala is a doozy and this village is proud to have raised him”

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Thank you, Nick Anderson.

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Juanita is prepared to apologize to the sheriff.  She lied in public about him

Under legal advice from her attorney, Jackson P. “Hub Caps” Frontage, Juanita wrote the following apology and put it on the front door.

Dear Sheriff Milton Wright,

I apologize for calling you goofy.  I apologize for saying that you couldn’t get 20% of the vote out if your accordion depended on it and that you lost the race for a guy running for DA.  That was incorrect and rude of me.

After doing some research, I have discovered that your attempt to be kingmaker did not  involve just the DA’s race.  No, sireee.

It also involved the County Court at Law race, you doofus.

My friend Hal reminded me that you also endorsed Rick Forlano for county court at law.  He got a whopping 37% of the vote, giving him the distinction of coming in 3rd in a two man race.

So, I sincerely apologize for underestimating your skills at being a political piranha.

Why don’t you just hire somebody to kneecap your favorite candidates next time?  That seems like it would be a little kinder to them.

Love and Fried Okra,
Juanita

P.S. Verdelia wants to know if we could pay you to endorse all the Republicans in November and what might such services cost.  She’s setting up a donation jar for it.

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A lot of you have been emailing me about Kesha Rogers.

I know, it’s a mess.

You’re just gonna have to give me a few days to sort some stuff out about it.  I will have words.  Many of them.  But, I’m not ready yet.

Check back after the weekend.

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You know Juanita cannot ignore this.

Sources tell CBS13 a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving Faces, a gay nightclub in midtown Sacramento, early Wednesday morning.

The California Highway Patrol pulled over Senator Roy Ashburn at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday after an officer noticed a black Chevy Tahoe swerving at 13th and L Streets.

Ashburn, a father of four, is a Republican Senator representing parts of Kern, Tulare and San Bernardino Counties with a history of opposing gay rights.

And I know y’all can’t ignore it either because you’ve been sending Juanita notes under the TELL JUANITA heading all morning.

Our resident expert on gay issues,  Winston Taylor “Twirlie” Harrison, took one look at this picture of Senator Roy Ashburn  and said, “Are you actually telling me that someone went home with this person?  Girl, are they short of gay men in California now?  Hump!  It’s very obvious that someone else in that car was very drunk.  I mean blind drunk.”

So don’t be like Senator Roy Ashburn.  Come on out of the Be Nice About Hypocrisy Closet and let us know what you think.

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The polls are closed.  The votes are tallied.  And the Republicans are still fighting.

“It just goes to show what a dirty campaign will get you, and that’s what he ran,” McMeans said about Forlano.

Reached Wednesday morning, Forlano accused McMeans of running the “dirty campaign” and said McMeans was “untruthful” throughout the campaign.

McMeans now faces Democratic opponent Harrison Gregg Jr. in the fall election. Gregg ran unopposed.

McMeans said the difference in the race was that Forlano had “no real criminal law experience.” Secondly, McMeans reiterated that Forlano ran a “dirty campaign.”

“A lot of people told us tonight — all of the poll workers that I have — that the dirty robo-calls, the lies and just the untruths he told in his fliers and speeches turned them off,” McMeans said. “They’re done with dirty politics. Fort Bend voters are so smart that they’re not going to put up with dirty politics, and that’s how he ran his last election and that’s how he ran this election, and you can see how that works.”

Forlano called McMeans a “sore winner” and that he was “sorry to hear” about McMeans’ comments.

“They are still fighting about the race that happened 4 years ago.  They won’t even get rared-up to really fight about this one for another year or two,” Juanita says.

“That’s what you gotta love about Republicans,” she said.  “They don’t let it end when it ends.”

“And, come to think of it, grudge-holding is certainly a quality you’d want in a county court at law judge,” she grins, “if freekin’ justice ain’t real high on your list.”

“Come November, I’m going to vote for Harrison Gregg, Jr.  because he knows how to get over himself.”

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On a personal note, McMean’s father has been a judge around here since the earth cooled.  He called my husband a few weeks ago to complain about something he claimed I wrote, but I didn’t.  Hal wrote it.  But, the father thought that since my name is clearly visible on Hal’s site (as a link) then I must have written it.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not write everything on the Internets.

Hal writes the half of it that I don’t.  And you can tell what I wrote from what Hal writes because Hal is a better writer than I am.

My husband told the judge that it was a little weird to holler at him about something I didn’t write.  He told him that if he has a problem with something I didn’t write, that he should call me and file an official complaint about things I don’t write.

He, of course, hasn’t.

My husband operates on the theory that if someone is very confused, you should do your part to add to that confusion.  It makes life interesting.

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