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Juanita has decided that women have now achieved parity with men in the political arena when they feel as comfortable being total jerks as men do.

Sometimes the best way to tell a story is just to tell it.

We had a Democratic County Chair race here last week that became a contest between the vast majority of Democratic activists versus a small cliquish group of middle aged women  who want titles without the bother of responsibility.  Most of those jobs are already taken by member of Congress, but this group was trying their best to get the Gulf Coast franchise.

Fortunately, they lost the election.  I, as a middle aged women who is not afraid of sweating, was delighted.

And, there was a cherry on top of the victory.

My husband, The Bubba, sent out a letter last January supporting the new County Chair, Steve Brown.  Bubba sent it to everyone who had been a delegate to the State Democratic Convention.  That, apparently, included the newly announced Missouri City Mayoral candidate, Cynthia Lenton Gary.

The letter he sent Ms. Gary arrived back at his office, albeit worse for wear, on Friday.

It appears that Ms. Gary made some notes on her copy of Bubba’s letter and put it in her mailbox for someone named Tiffany to pick up.  The postal worker beat Tiffany to the mailbox and Ms. Gary’s letter was returned to sender.

Now, there’s going to be pictures with this story so click on the little one to see them in full life size.

This is the envelope as it arrived back to Bubba.

Bubba thought that was a tad strange.  But, since it clearly said, “Please help me, please,” Bubba thought maybe there was a tiny person trapped in the envelop and he should open it because a tiny person would be very handy to have during political season.

What Bubba found inside truly was a tiny person.  A very tiny person, playing the race card.

On top of his letter, she had written this —

It says, “Precinct 2 – The Black ant – don’t read, don’t know nothing.”  Cynthia Lenton  Gary is African American.  Bubba is not.

In Fort Bend County, Precinct 2 has the largest African American  population of any precinct in the county.  Bubba was endorsing an African American man for the county chair position over an African American woman, in a countywide race that includes all four precincts of the county.  Apparently, at least according to Ms. Gary, white men can’t do that.  Of note is that all three of the African American elected officials in Precinct 2 also endorsed the same man that Bubba did.

Also in the envelope was a wallet sized photo of the incumbent Democratic chair with a note to Tiffany —

I took out the phone number.  It seemed like the decent thing to do.

There are some lessons to be learned here:

1.  Do not put things in your mailbox for your friends to pick up.  It’s illegal.  Plus, it’s not a good hiding place.  Obviously.

2.  If you’re going to run for Mayor, don’t let it be known that you’re anxious to play the race card.  You’ll just look like you weren’t dealt a full deck yourself.

3.  If you’re going to make a fool of yourself, try real hard not to do in front of someone who has a semi-popular blog and a hot xerox machine.

Up until the last Presidential election Ms. Gary was a Republican, which I suspect is where she learned this attitude.

If by chance Ms Gary is reading this, I have only one thing to say to her:  Honey, you can say a lotta bad things about Bubba and Lord knows I’ve said most of them, but you cannot say he’s a racist.  And, just to set the record straight – unlike you, Bubba never, ever voted for George Bush.  I love him for that.

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Juanita thinks people are being too hard on Sarah Palin for admitting that she went to evil, socialistic Canada for health care.

Palin seemed to deviate from her fear of socialized Canadian medicine when she revealed that her family may have benefited from the Canadian system:

PALIN: We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn’t that ironic?

“Now y’all quit saying that’s hypocritical,” Juanita lectures.  “Sarah had to go to Canada because you can’t get the anti-idiot vaccine here.”

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“You know,” Delay said, “there is an argument to be made that these extensions, the unemployment benefits keeps people from going and finding jobs. In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay on unemployment compensation and they don’t look for a job until two or three weeks before they know the benefits are going to run out.

Host Candy Crowley: Congressman, that’s a hard sell, isn’t it?

Delay: it’s the truth.

Crowley: People are unemployed because they want to be?

Delay: well, it is the truth. and people in the real world know it. And they have friends and they know it. Sure, we ought to be helping people that are unemployed find a job, but we also have budget considerations that are incredibly important, especially now that Obama is spending monies that we don’t have.

Best I know, Tom DeLay hasn’t  had a job in 5 years.  He hasn’t had honest work since Elvis died.

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Deb and I were talking and we wish that we had been invited to this party —-

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One of the founders of The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., is Fenway Fran, who has recently accepted the position of Senior West Coast Correspondent and then had to move out there to do it.

Fran reports that Texas got famous in Oregon.  And not in a good way.  Here’s a letter to the editor of the Oregonian.

Y’all vote for me

What started about a year ago and was humorously ignored is now starting to really irritate me. I’m talking about phone calls asking me to vote for Republican candidates and conservative initiatives in the state of Texas. As a Democrat living in Multnomah County, which is one of the most liberal counties in the United States, I have to scratch my head at the ignorance Texas Republicans display.

These occasional calls came to a peak this weekend when we returned from a trip (not to Texas) to find recorded pleas to get out the Republican vote. Kay Bailey Hutchison’s four recordings to this Oregonian 2,000 miles away convinced me how desperate her campaign was, and I wish the voice that invited me to a local precinct meeting had left a callback number.

Calling the Texas secretary of state’s office and the ethics committee in Austin got me nowhere. They said they get the same calls. It didn’t seem strange to them that there was a difference between my place of residence and theirs.

The Texas Republican Party seems only to make phone calls, rather than answer them, because I can’t get a live voice to deal with my problem.

I came away from this ordeal thinking that in the past decade there isn’t just one village missing their idiot.

CHRIS LAMP
Northeast Portland

Which makes us wonder – did Kay carry Portland?

By the way, Fran also plays bass guitar in Juanita’s band, Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes.  We will be making our Spring  2010 debut over at Yankers Bar, Grill, and Whatnot in Pleak next month.

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My friend Kary grew up gay in Conroe, Texas.  He must have done something really awful in a past life.

Kary left Conroe, joined the military and served with honor during Viet Nam, and then went on to become pretty damn famous in the arts.  His annual income is now equal to the entire gross national product of Conroe, Texas.  But, Kary would never spend one damn penny of it in Conroe. It’s his adorable way of settling the score.

Anyway, this morning I sent him this link.

A number of high-ranking military officers whose names appear on a well-publicized letter supporting “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” were involved in career-ending scandals or have said the letter doesn’t represent their views, according to Servicemembers United.

The organization’s preliminary investigation of 200 names on the letter, which more than 1,100 flag and general officers signed, reveals new information that could undermine the document supporting the 1993 law barring gays from serving openly in the military.

I attached a note that said, “Hey Kary, look at the lengths they’ll go to in order to discredit gays.  Y’all must be very scary people.”

The answer came back quickly —

You better be AFRAID! I’m comin over there and DOIN YORE HAIR!

Do not mess with the gays for they have cornered the market on clever.

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