.

“So, here’s the deal,” Juanita starts this morning.  “Anadarko owns 25% of BP’s Horizon rig.  So, BP sent Anadarko a bill for their share of the clean up.  The bill was for $272 million dollars.”

An actual image from Anadarko's website

“Anadarko, not one to be a pushover, responded with a loud groan and some cuss words.  Anadarko, it seems, says that everything was BP’s fault.”

“BP, on the other hand, says that ‘fault’ is such a harsh word,” Juanita grins.

“So, here ya got Darth Vader fighting Lex Luther.  It’s hard to know who to root for.  Personally, I’m going with giving them both a chainsaw.”

“I imagine that by this point, their lawyers have lawyers and they’re throwing paper at each other like spears,” Juanita suspects.  “Hell, let’s give them real spears and get some entertainment value.”

.

Dear Juanita,

I just never put it together… unregulated industry, no labor laws, “targeting” political opponents who want a strong federal government, and lots and lots of guns — is that the Texas Republican Party or the Sinaloa Cartel?

I had some fun with that this morning.

Richard Grabman

Enjoy!

.

Some people should move to Texas so they won’t stand out.

Police Seek Mischief Maker Dressed as Leprechaun

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Published: June 30, 2010

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) — Police responding to reports of a man leaping between cars in a Colorado supermarket parking lot didn’t need a detailed description of the suspect.

Boulder Police Sgt. Fred Gerhardt says witnesses on Wednesday reported a man was dressed as a leprechaun and pretending to shoot at people with his fingers.

Witnesses told police the man may have made obscene gestures.

Gerhardt says they likely called police because the man ”was acting bizarre.”

Officers did not find anyone matching the description of the leprechaun.

Gerhardt says this is the first time Boulder police have received a complaint about a leprechaun.

Thelma is look for a date to the VFW dance and Buck needs a roommate.  If you find this guy, sned him on over.

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An honest to gosh press release from Hector Uribe’s office —

Uribe performs CPR, resuscitates collapsed Capitol jogger

(Austin) Democratic nominee for Texas Land Commissioner Hector Uribe successfully performed CPR on a man who had apparently collapsed with no pulse or respiration while jogging earlier today.

Uribe was walking to his office at 11th and Congress early this afternoon when he noticed a crowd gathering on a Capitol driveway near 11th Street. When Uribe walked over and saw a man on the ground, he joined other onlookers in assessing the man, could not detect a pulse or respiration, and that his eyes were rolled back in his head. Uribe began performing CPR on the man, and a couple of minutes later, the man gasped and began breathing on his own.

State Trooper Husain Roussel, who was recently in the news himself when a gunman fired shots on the Capitol grounds, was among those who arrived at the scene and witnessed the incident.

“I’m all for Texas turning blue, but not like this,” Uribe said. “I was very glad to help, grateful that I knew CPR, and I wish the gentleman the very best of health.”

All in a day’s work for the handsome, smart, and soon to be Land Commissioner, Hector Uribe.

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I am fairly certain that we’ve all seen the teevee ad for the ditzy congressional candidate Pamela Gorman firing off rounds from a machine gun to prove she’s ready for public life outside the institution.   “I know it scared the crap outta me,” Juanita blushes.

Juanita particularly liked the part where Pamela is a Conservative Christian.  “Oh Lord, when Sweet Jesus comes back like a thief in the night, I hope it ain’t in Arizona.   This chick is determined to kill somedamnthing.”

“And then as if clipping coupons for ammo was the new fad, we have Nevada Republican Senate nominee Sharron Angle talking about using the second admendment to “take Harry Reid out.”

“I don’t think she meant on a date,” Juanita suspects.

“So, she now says she is backtracking an says she was ‘speaking broadly.’  Uh huh.  Yep,” Juanita rolls her eyes.  “No, Honey, broads don’t speak that way.  Broads have better manners than that.”

“It’s like my Aunt Ethel used to say, ‘Honey, a lady never shows her ta-tas or her weapon in public.  Those things are only meant for your man, where they will do you some good.'”

.

My friend David has an interesting question this morning on Facebook.

Just checking: Has the Free Market cleaned up the oilspill yet?

Anybody know?