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We’re having some technical issues with my email. I am getting email just fine, but I can’t send email. The geeks are working on it. I’ll feed them some candy and peanuts.
However, if you’re expecting to hear back from me, don’t. Besides, the weather is far too pretty to be inside the house on the computer machine. Juanita is busy at the Del Rio Cuticle Convention until the weekend so Thelma is running the joint. Personally, I think she’s the one who messed up the email.
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Tom DeLay has never been on a first name basis with reality. Cocky and smug, yes he knows them well. But reality has always been a little more difficult for him.
“He’s in Austin having delusions of height, intelligence and thinking he’s one of the cool kids,” Juanita reports. Tom DeLay’s trial has proven to be a perfect reflection of Tom’s life – everybody is wrong except him.
The prosecution is trying to prove a connection between the $190,000 in corporate money that TRMPAC washed, dried, folded and sent to candidates. Candidates cannot take corporate money in Texas. Instead of seeing the connection, Tom only sees what Tom sees through the eyes of a brain so addled by alcohol and ultra rightwing footwashing speaking-in-tongues old time religion that thinking straight is akin to a bushel basket of wire coat hangers.
“It [the prosecution] painted a picture of what goes on in Washington, how you raise money. It’s all done by everybody, Democrats and Republicans,” said the former U.S. House majority leader during a break in Monday’s trial. “It’s great for our side. I can’t believe the prosecutors are calling these kind of people.”
Gary Cobb, the lead prosecutor, disagreed. He said the evidence — in a voluminous mound of e-mails, memos and correspondence — is about how two organizations funneled corporate money to Texas candidates, a violation of state law.
“So,” Juanita grins, “Tom is saying ‘hey, look, all the other kids are doing it,’ and the prosecution is saying, ‘it’s drugs, Tom, so just because everybody else is doing it doesn’t make it right.'”
“It is a well-known fact that Tom hasn’t spoken to his mother in twenty five years even though she lives in the same town he does. That shows. Everybody needs a mother to say, “if everybody else was jumping off the roof ….” Well, you know the rest because you call your mother,” Juanita explains.
Like any good wise guy or major drug dealer, Tom has covered himself with layers of protection – including people willing to take the fall for him because they know his wrath. He’s a vicious little twit who once told a local Republican party leader, “I will destroy you,” in a tone so scary that the leader almost turned to ice right there. He packed his bags and left town.
“Tom DeLay is the only man I know who can strut sitting down,” Juanita shakes her head. “Even if the jury comes back with guilty, guilty, guilty, he will cast himself as the true victim and blame you. Yes, you. You’re breathing his air, ain’t ya?”
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Come next January, crazy folks will be let loose in Austin. The State Lege meets and it’s gonna be more fun than recess in heaven.
The Riddler - phew! She needs a bath!
Harvey Kronberg reports that Rep. Debbie Riddle would camp nakkid in mud in the Klondike if she could be first in line to hate Hispanics.
DEBBIE RIDDLE WASTES NO TIME, PRE-FILES BILLS ON VOTER ID, ARIZONA-STYLE IMMIGRATION LEGISLATION
To ensure she would be first in line, the Tomball Republican camped out in front of the Clerk’s Office over the weekend.
Rep. Debbie Riddle (R-Tomball) made sure she got there first this session to pre-file Arizona-style immigration legislation for the 82nd session by pitching a campsite and camping out in the House chamber over the weekend.
Riddle, as she noted in a news release this morning, spent both Saturday and Sunday nights sleeping on the lobby floor outside the Chief Clerk’s office in order to guarantee her place in line. Riddle’s bill is intended to mirror many of the provisions of Arizona’s Senate Bill 1070.
Oh, but that’s just the beginning.
Vicki The Rebel
— State Rep. Vicki Truitt (R-Keller) filed HCR 19, a resolution calling on Congress to pass a constitutional amendment that would allow states to repeal federal laws if two-thirds of the states pass legislation rolling back those laws.
“Honey, I’m going to Austin with a five gallon drum of estrogen because we have some girls who are running about a quart low,” Juanita warns.
This is going to be a fun session!
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The ladies at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. got a grooming question this morning:
Juanita, I know you are the latest word on fashion and style so answer me this. Does Joe Wilson (Alaska) just always need a shave or is that a fashion statement a la’ Miami Vice?
Bev
Thelma suggests, “I think he’s just blind. Oh no, wait — that’s his politics. His politics are blind. His face is just hopeless.”
Any other thoughts?
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Juanita is painfully aware that Congress is dead solid set to restore the Bush tax cuts, which Juanita refers to as the Paris Hilton Tax Cuts.
“I have one small, insignificant suggestion,” Juanita suggests. “I suggest that the Democrats add an amendment that demands that every GOPper congressvarmint who votes for it should have to expose (1) Will he or she benefit by it, and (2) exactly how many people in their district are rich enough to benefit by it.”
“The Democrats should extend tax cuts ONLY to tbe bottom 98% of people. The rest of them should pay what they paid under Reagan.”
“Let those suckers push that!” she dares.
“They are promising to shut down government over this. Hell, that don’t scare us. They’re gonna drown it in the bathtub anyway. Self-serving, greedy, sell-out sons of motherless goats!”
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My friend Kary sent this. He got it emailed to him and doesn’t know who the original writer is, but I found this.
After The 8 Years Of The Bush/Cheney Disaster, Now You Get Mad?
You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.
You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate Energy policy and push us to invade Iraq.
You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.
You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.
You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.
You didn’t get mad when we spent over 800 billion (and counting) on said illegal war.
You didn’t get mad when Bush borrowed more money from foreign sources than the previous 42 Presidents combined.
You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars in cash just disappeared in Iraq.
You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.
You didn’t get mad when Bush embraced trade and outsourcing policies that shipped 6 million American jobs out of the country.
You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.
You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.
You didn’t get mad when Bush rang up 10 trillion dollars in combined budget and current account deficits.
You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.
You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.
You didn’t get mad when we gave people who had more money than they could spend, the filthy rich, over a trillion dollars in tax breaks.
You didn’t get mad with the worst 8 years of job creations in several decades.
You didn’t get mad when over 200,000 US Citizens lost their lives because they had no health insurance.
You didn’t get mad when lack of oversight and regulations from the Bush Administration caused US Citizens to lose 12 trillion dollars in investments, retirement, and home values.
You finally got mad when a black man was elected President and decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, job losses by the millions, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, and the worst economic disaster since 1929 are all okay with you, but helping fellow Americans who are sick…Oh, Hell No!!
Kary thinks we should make copies of this and stick it on the windshields of every car with a Republican bumper sticker.
I’m already doing it!
