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Okay, so you’ve heard of a Turducken, but now there’s Pumpecapple.

Thelma came running in this morning with a copy of an article from the Houston Chronicle about 3 pies and 3 cakes all baked into one.  Thelma is rather unpetite, so it was no shock that she was determined to get her hands on one of these cakes.  Thelma once ate a whole carton of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla and then asked where dessert was.  “Ice cream has milk and eggs and stuff so that doesn’t count as dessert,” she contends.

So, she found the culprit in this whole sugar overload scheme.  He, of course, is from El Lay.  He’s even made a video of how to create cakeapoolza.

Good luck in getting your hands on one of these suckers.  And, if you do, please invite Thelma.  Her life will not be complete until she eats one of these.

(Click the little one to read the big one.)

One of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving that’s pretty high on the list – a brand spankin’ new state representative who walks as he talks.  Read the quote he picked.

Ron was born knowing how to get things done.  Honey, he can wear out several pairs of shoes in one day.  Folks around here know what he stands for and what he won’t stand for.  I’m real thankful for him and all the fighting he’ll do for us.

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody.

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You know it’s Texas when even Catholic Priests pack heat and put out contracts.

A Catholic priest, facing criminal charges and a lawsuit alleging that he sexually abused a teenage boy, is now charged with attempting to hire someone to kill the youth, authorities said Tuesday.

The Rev. John M. Fiala was in the Dallas County, Texas, jail on Tuesday, charged with one count of criminal solicitation to commit capital murder, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety and the jail’s website. He also is charged with two counts of aggravated sexual assault of a child. His bail totals $700,000.

As most of you know, Juanita gets into fights with the local Catholic priests around here at least twice a year, and in a good year, several more times.  It does not shock her that a priest thinks he can get away with murder.

“Get a good look at that picture,” she says, “because odds are that the church will bail him out and move him to a small parish outside of Chicago.”

The teen, after struggling with the abuse, told a school counselor, who notified authorities, Rhodes said. He filed suit in April against Fiala, as well as the archdioceses of San Antonio, Texas, and Omaha, Nebraska — where Fiala was before Texas — and Fiala’s religious order, the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity, the attorney said.

The suit claims that all three covered up Fiala’s record of abuse. All three have denied doing so, according to the San Antonio, Texas, Express-News. When former San Antonio Archbishop Jose Gomez and the religious order learned of the police investigation into Fiala’s relationship with the teen, he was removed from active ministry in October 2008, the newspaper reported.

“Children in the Catholic church are walking into a lion’s den with pork chops in their pockets,” Juanita claims.  “In the hereafter, I hope these priests have to look up to see the bottom of hell.”

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The jury in the Tom DeLay case went home for the second night.  All the fascinating details are here.

Let me try to explain to you how nuts this is for folks around here.  I have friends who have an actual job who insist that I email them hourly to let them know what’s happening.  I went to lunch today with a good friend but we had to play it by ear so we could go while the DeLay jury was out at lunch so we wouldn’t miss anything.  Still, we kept our iPhones on the table.  Just.  In. Case.

Here’s my take on this sucker:  one (or more) jurors don’t understand how it can be money laundering if the money wasn’t obtained illegally in the first place, like drug money is.  They keep asking the judge to explain, but the judge won’t, and he’s probably right not to.

It was looking good for the defense today until a note came out asking the judge to define “money fraud,”  and they also asked what amount of money would make “money fraud” a felony.   That made it look like they want to find him guilty of somedamnthing.  However, there is no legal statute called “money fraud” in Texas.

But for the entertainment of all present, Tom, of course, is playing the Jesus card.

Tom DeLay said he is being reassured by friends with daily Bible verses. Today’s is Romans 8:28 which DeLay says talks about, “No matter what your trials or tribulations are, everything is for the good for those chosen by the Lord.

“No demons, nor angels, nor district attorneys can keep you separated from the love of Jesus Christ.”

I looked it up, and Roman 8:28 shockingly doesn’t even mention DA’s.  The Bible does, however, mention money changers.  Yep – money changers.  Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15, and John 2:15.  Den of thieves, I believe Sweet Jesus said.

We will keep watching on this end.

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Juanita recognizes that it’s become popular to compare anything you don’t like to Hitler. However, she deems it inappropriately wasteful that Barack Obama is the only thing that’s been carried along with this fast-paced trend.

Take, for example, Rand Paul.  Rand The Man With No Plan said that Obama’s rise to “power” mimicked … you got it … Hitler.

Soon-to-be-Kentucky Senator Rand Paul once appeared to express anxiety that the state of affairs in America was opening a path for President Obama to grow into a Hitler-like leader who would snatch up civil liberties in the name of security.

And since all politics are local, Fort Bend County’s own Kesha Rogers, the smug queen of the LaRouchites, has taken to singing Christmas Carols about Obama being Hitler.  LaRouchites are to politics what professional wrestling is to sports.

“It seems wasteful, not to mention terribly unfair to Hitler, that Obama gets to be the only thing that’s like Hitler.  Honey, Republicans and LaRouchites can’t be hogging all the crazy,” Juanita explains.

Juanita suggest that all of us at the beauty salon start spreading the Hitler around.

“That hairdo is Hitler,” exclaims Verdelia.

“Crap! This hot dog tastes like Hitler,” adds BubbaX.

“Oh, the pain!  I think Hitler is in my feet,” suggests Thelma.

They’ve got the hang of it.

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Okay, the jury in the Tom DeLay trial has come out twice to ask questions.  The first one was “Can it constitute money laundering if the money wasn’t procured by illegal means originally?”  And they are on their way to the courtroom right now to ask the second question.

Given those questions and the fact that the judge gave a jury charge that’s highly favorable to DeLay, I seriously doubt that there will be a conviction.  He will be double cocky and an insufferable victim.  I’m just warning you.

UPDATED: The jury went home for the night.  They will resume deliberations on Tuesday morning.