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The Super DeLux Brand Christians are here bearing gifts for the Prince of Peace.

Ehhhh, not so much.

The owner of a local religious broadcasting company has been arrested on federal charges of bilking investors out of more than $750,000 and using most of the money for personal and business expenses, including buying a 36-foot boat.

Samuel B. Jacobs, 57, owner of WJHJ, was released after making an initial appearance Friday afternoon in U.S. District Court in Norfolk. He is charged in a 20-count indictment with mail fraud, money laundering and related counts.

And this guy had a Jip People for Jesus franchise going.

Jacobs Broadcasting is a local, independent, television and radio network broadcasting on stations that cover New York City, Houston Texas, central and southeast Virginia, North Carolina and  Louisiana.

“Honey,” Juanita says, “there’s a real special place in hell for these guys.”

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“Po’ Miz Sarah,” Juanita begins this morning.  “Being that petty takes a lot of practice.”

Sarah Palin took a shot at Michelle Obama during Sunday’s episode of her reality TV show, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” jabbing the first lady’s anti-obesity campaign for attempting to deprive Americans of dessert.

While searching for s’mores ingredients on a family camping trip, Palin remarked:

“Where are the s’mores ingredients? This is in honor of Michelle Obama, who said the other day we should not have dessert.”

“Bless her heart, just bless it,” Juanita smiles.  “There’s Michelle Obama, well educated, classy, adoring husband, lovely children, and, you know —- living in the damn White House.  Everything Miz Sarah wants but has chosen to make a sideshow spectacle of herself instead.”

“The green envy  just drips from her lips when she mentions Michelle Obama.  And Honey, it ain’t a good color on any woman – but especially the Run Away Governor.”

Juanita still has not been able to bring herself to watch Palin’s teevee show.  Retching is not one of Juanita’s favorite activities.

.

DADT is no more.

It’s about damn time.

Juanita is pleased as punch about it because it’s not a political issue, it’s a human rights issue and it’s about damn time we started treating gays as humans.

However, we all are woefully, eye-watering sad that the Dream Act did not pass.  Six cockamamie Democrats voted against it.  What the fool tarnation does somebody in Montana or North Carolina know about the dreams of kids brought to this country not by their own choice?

“Plus, I think Kay Bailey Hutchison and John Cornyn ought to have to personally tell every precious little Mexican kid in Texas that they probably shouldn’t waste their time studying and trying to better themselves,” Juanita says.  “Every time John Cornyn has a neuron synapse, an angel looses her wings.  Lord, that man would pee on a widow woman’s firewood.”

She’s right; he would.

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Y’all wish Momma a happy 85th birthday and do not tell the ladies at the Baptist Church that she was imbibing in Demon Tequila.  Momma is of the belief that everybody should have a Margarita every 85 years.

We spent Momma’s birthday at Cyclone Anaya’s – where the Margaritas and the Enchiladas Anaya are damn near perfect.

All 101 pounds of Momma are fully functional and ready to go anywhere, anytime.  Her mind is sharp as a tack except when she forgets that I’m her daughter – which, of course, she does on purpose.  Rather often, if you ask me.

She’s the one who keeps this place from being shut down by the heath department and the First Methodist Church Morality and Decency Society.

Happy Birthday, Momma, and I’m glad you enjoyed your lunch!

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Just a heads-up.

We will be announcing the exact time and location of the Hammer to the Slammer Party after the Christmas holidays.  But, go ahead and make plans to be in Austin on the night of Sunday, January 9th, to drink Margaritas and toast a little old fashioned karma.

We will be giving away the Tom DeLay rubber chicken and a few other pieces of cherished DeLay memorabilia.

I have filed my victim impact statement and am ready to testify if needed!

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Maybe this is a true story.  It was, after all, on teevee.

WHITEFISH BAY, WI — A Wisconsin postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on his rounds who seemed “stressed out” when he decided to deliver mail in the buff.

But upon further review, the worker told police that delivering mail while completely naked probably wasn’t a good idea.

A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail in the nude to her office in Whitefish Bay to make her laugh. The report says that on Dec. 4 he brought the mail wearing only a smile.

The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel says the man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do.

Living proof that there is a very thin line between stupid and funny as hell.

(Thanks to Carl Whitmarsh for the heads-up.)