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‘Nuff said about more people carrying weapons. Click here.

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Sarah Palin is likely the most tone deaf person in America.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) will deliver a keynote address to a gun convention later this month.

“It’s the triumph of an uncluttered mind,” Juanita says.  “Honey, Sarah Palin is cold enough to skate on.”

Thelma jumps in, “So cold that you’d get frostbite taking her pulse.  She’s so cold that she’d make a third degree Mason drop a degree.  Sarah Palin is so cold that she could make the eagle on a silver dollar shiver.  She’s so cold ….”

“We get it, Thelma,” everyone hollered.

However, it does sound like a real classy event —

Others expected to appear at the convention are comedian Larry the Cable Guy, musical acts Marshall Tucker Band and Pure Prairie League, an Elvis impersonator, NASCAR team owner Richard Childress and conservative commentator Michael Reagan.

That entertainment!

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When we heard the story last weekend of two men being arrested for drunk driving in Austin while on horseback, we thought it was just another Texas tall tale.  We, of course, do nothing to discourage Texas tall tales, and have even been known to pass along a few right here at the beauty salon.

However, we wondered, who was drunk, the rider or the horse?  And are there laws against drunk horses?  And if so, why didn’t I know about it?  That should be advertised better.

Come to find out, the story is true, and true in the best of Texas fashion:  the accused admits he was drunker than Cooter Brown, riding his horse to bars on Sixth Street to celebrate recovering from a horseback riding accident.

I love yew, Texas.

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Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison just announced that she will not seek reelection.

We are requesting that all Texans stay indoors for the next few days while Republicans stampede toward a Senate race.  Let the stomping begin!

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When I was in the Capitol on the first day of the Lege earlier this week, the joke was that it was probably a good thing that Democrat Bill White didn’t get elected as Governor, because the Republicans would have blamed the $27 billion state deficit on him.

He will also fix stubborn traffic lights

That’s right.  Texas is in worse shape than California.

Texas Guv Rick Perry apparently doesn’t know about the deficit because foremost on his mind is the “emergency” that exists with horrifying  “sanctuary cities.”  That means, according to Rick Perry, that there are actually cities in Texas where the police do not ask everyone breathing free air to prove their citizenship.  Lord have mercy!

“So,” begins Juanita in reaction to this information, “Rick Perry cannot even name one sanctuary city.  Not even one.  But, he’s damn near certain they exist and by gawd, he’s gonna stop it before sunrise.”

…when reporters asked him Wednesday to name sanctuary cities in Texas, Perry chose not to.

He also passed on a chance to explain how the state Department of Public Safety’s policy toward inquiring about immigration status differs from the Houston policy for which he criticized White.

“We’ve got ourselves a $27 billion deficit, and here’s our Governor cavorting around like a fat pony in high oats over something that’s gonna cost more money than picture show popcorn and take police officers off the streets fighting real crime.  Rick Perry is wearing his rodeo parade outfit to a burying,” she concludes.

“You know what’s odd?  They call Jerry Brown, the California Governor, ‘Governor Moonbeam.’  I guess we have ‘Governor Goofy’.”