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Rick Santorum is saying that abortion is killing social security.

All you people out there doing the wild thing without it resulting in a baby are killing grandma.  I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

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Wisconsin Congresscritter Sean Duffy made a giant ole fool of himself on the You Tube.  While saying that  he supports cutting compensation for all public employees, like Scott Walker  has proposed, Duffy says he’s just barely keeping the wolves at bay on his $174,000 congressional salary.

I can guarantee you, or most of you, I guarantee that I have more debt than all of you. With 6 kids, I still pay off my student loans. I still pay my mortgage. I drive a used minivan. If you think I’m living high on the hog, I’ve got one paycheck. So I struggle to meet my bills right now. Would it be easier for me if I get more paychecks? Maybe, but at this point I’m not living high on the hog.

“Now I know you people think that’s ridiculous that he needs $174,000 to live on while the median household income in his district is $50,520,” Juanita grins.  “And that he’s for cutting everyone else’s governmental salary except his own.”

Sean Duffy

“It’s not ridiculous.  $174,000 isn’t that much money.  For goodness sake in Republican dollars, that’s like $25,000,” she explains the mathematics.

“So, in Republican dollars, Poor Ole Sean hardly has a pot to pee in.  I think the Republican dollar exchange rate is running 7 to 1 right now.”

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By the way, Guys, Duffy is the former star of MTV’s Real World where he danced in his bloomers on a pool table.  Maybe he could make more money doing that on the weekends.

Others are just catching wind of the tree-climbing 38-year-old’s night-clubbing, woman-chasing antics on the 1997 Boston season of “The Real World.” There’s a video of Duffy on YouTube dancing on a pool table in boxer shorts while drinking beer.

(Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.)

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You know how Juanita is always talking about East Texas and how their Super DeLux Brand Christian congressvarmints and State Capitol Inmates are so danged nuts that squirrels chase them around?

Well, results are out today about the health of Texans.  By county.  Guess who is the least healthy?  “All of damn East Texas,” Juanita reports.

“So, I guess for all praying they do out there, either they’re forgetting the good health part or maybe, just maybe, they need some of that there — now what do they call it? — Oh yeah, Obamacare.”

Just for fun, you can check the numbers for your own county anywhere in America by clicking right here.

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While we’re sitting here watching the inmates at the Texas Lege, it’s fun to remember that this bunch didn’t create crazy but they are building on a strong foundation.

Every session, Texas Monthly list the ten best and worst members of the Lege.  Here’s the history back to 1973.  You have to create an account to read it all, but it’s painless and free.

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Juanita has come to the conclusion that Texas Republican Rick Perry is telling Texans to walk it off.

Lost your job?  Walk it off, you wussy.

Kids sick?  Big deal.  They weren’t particularly attractive kids anyway.  Make another one.

Rick Perry is refusing to dip into the Rainy Day Fund for teachers, children’s medical care or granny’s nursing home.  He says we need to save that money in case of a big, giant natural disaster.  Just like the one that happened before where his campaign donors needed their money back.

And while Perry is adamantly against using the fund for schools or medical care this year, in 2003 he persuaded the Legislature to allocate $295 million for his Texas Enterprise Fund and in 2005 another $100 million for his Emerging Technology Funds.

He has used both to subsidize business start-ups for major campaign contributors.

“Yeah, Rick,” Juanita says, “We know your definition of natural disaster.  It involves your buddies running out of beer on game day.”

Juanita just wants to remind you what’s on the line here.  Rick Perry and his pals have raped Texas and left Little Johnny and Grandma in the dumpster.

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As we at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., noted last week, Donald Trump has become a birther.

In an event so filled with hypocrisy that little bubbles of delight dribble over the edges, it has been discovered that Mr. Trump also does not have a legitimate birth certificate.  Oh, yes.  Ooooh, oooooh, right there.

It appears that Mr. Trump’s certificate of birth is not, get this – NOT, an official document.  It is simply a certificate from the hospital.   Ben Smith commented …

Trump’s mother, it should be noted, was born in Scotland, which is not part of the United States. His plane is registered in the Bahamas, also a foreign country. This fact pattern — along with the wave of new questions surrounding what he claims is a birth certificate — raises serious doubts about his eligibility to serve as President of the United States.

Republicans – you just gotta love them.