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“Okay, no more Miss Nice Juanita.  I’m gonna start saying what I want to say,” Juanita begins, which is not something you’re excited to hear on a Monday morning before the coffee is ready.

She is clutching Paul Krugman’s column in her hand.  “Paul contends that it’s time to quit being civil,” she explains.

Which brings me to those calls for a bipartisan solution. Sorry to be cynical, but right now “bipartisan” is usually code for assembling some conservative Democrats and ultraconservative Republicans — all of them with close ties to the wealthy, and many who are wealthy themselves — and having them proclaim that low taxes on high incomes and drastic cuts in social insurance are the only possible solution.

This would be a corrupt, undemocratic way to make decisions about the shape of our society even if those involved really were wise men with a deep grasp of the issues. It’s much worse when many of those at the table are the sort of people who solicit and believe the kind of policy analyses that the Heritage Foundation supplies.

So let’s not be civil. Instead, let’s have a frank discussion of our differences. In particular, if Democrats believe that Republicans are talking cruel nonsense, they should say so — and take their case to the voters.

“Here comes my Monday morning rant,” she warns.

“Civility is meant to be a means, not an end.  I am very afraid that the Democratic leadership sees it the other way around.  When you allow civility to be the ends, you become a doormat.  You give up everything you want in order to say, ‘See how civil I am!'”

“Who in their right mind wants to be civil when someone says little children need go hungry, sick, and nakkid because we can’t afford to feed, clothe, or heal them?  We can, however, afford tax breaks for the rich.  Who wants to be civil when social security and unions are under attack?  Franklin Roosevelt took joy in being the enemy of big business.  He was not civil about it,” Juanita takes a breath and continues, “And why do I have to civil about destroying the air I breathe and the water I drink?”

“Tell me,” she demands, “what virtue is there to being civil about that?”

“Me?  I want a bucker and a snorter.  I want someone two shades meaner than the devil himself.  I want a skillet chunker.  I want a hurricane with two eyes and junk yard dog.  I want someone to fight for me.”

“The American people will tell pollsters that they want civil because that sounds adult and nice.  But, that’s not what they really want.  They want someone who can go into a smoke filled backroom and come out with more than smoke in his eyes.  That is what they want,” she hollers.

Thank you, Paul Krugman, for getting the ladies started this week.

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“The state lege could not have sliced my county into worse districts even if they had a Slice-A-Lator set to high slice on International Slicing Day,” Juanita announced at the Mustang Lounge this evening at the domino tournament.

Juanita got moved out of her district and put into Charlie Howard’s district.  She lives at the rump end of Charlie’s district.  Charlie Howard has been named the single most conservative member of the Texas lege.  “He makes Leo Berman look enlightened,” Juanita says.  She has decided to dedicate her life to doing one thing every day that makes Charlie Howard’s miserable.  “It’s my Christian duty,” she assures us.

But the big news around here is the creation of District 85.  District 85 begins about 100 yards from Juanita’s house, picks up all of Rosenberg, and then runs down to Jackson and Wharton counties.  Oddly, it carefully and purposefully excludes all the regular folks you’d think would run for a Texas House seat.  It’s one of those “Huummmm … what were they thinking, because you know for sure they were in cahoots with Satan to build this district.”

It took a  a while, but we finally figured it out.

Debbie Medina.

Described as “a phenomenon” by the media, Debbie Medina is a Teabagger who ran for Governor in the GOP primary.  She has said in an interview that the United States government blew up the World Trade Center on 911, and that we should destroy the federal reserve.  She home schooled her children and now attends Williams Trace Baptist Church, and totes a pistol in her car when she goes there.

She’s also a little goofy.

Her comments about secession might make Gov. Rick Perry blush. At one rally she said: “We are aware that stepping off into secession may in fact be a bloody war. We understand that the tree of freedom is occasionally watered with the blood tyrants and patriots.” Medina says she doesn’t support secession, though.

Once we saw it, they didn’t have to put any more butter on that biscuit.  The district was drawn for her.  Debbie Medina – our own Michelle Bachmann.

“I wish to thank the State Lege for making this an easy one.  We’ve already filed papers to have Verdelia’s name legally changed to Debra ‘Debbie’ Medina so we appreciate the heads-up!”

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Last week, Texas Monthly’s Paul Burka called Gilberto Hinojosa, candidate for State Democratic Party Chair, “a political hack from South Texas.”

Being called a political hack by Paul Burka is like being called ugly by a toad frog.

Next thing you know, Burka will be calling people lazy and overly wordy.  But, smooth move, calling a Georgetown educated lawyer “a hack.” I see Burka won an award for writing in 1985.  Yep, that pretty much makes him the expert on hacks.

I swear that Burka’s nipples get hard every time George Dubya Bush walks in the room.  Burka is over-grazed, thick with underbrush,  and turning crinkly around the edges.

A hack?  Somebody, please, send Burka a mirror.

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In case you haven’t been keeping up with the latest developments in the Steeple People’s quest for world domination, it now appears that they think that whole social justice thing Sweet Jesus talked about was a slip of the tongue.  Remember the Family Research Council, which has diddle squat to do with either families or research but is pretty powerful on the council thingy part?  Well …..

Harkinson digs into some of the organization’s recent bizarre anti-union rhetoric that melds a love for God and a hatred of attempts to reduce economic inequality. Quoting recent FRC lecturer Mark Caleb Smith, he writes, “‘Government-imposed social justice is unjust,’ Smith concluded, adding that Christians who support that notion are heretical and un-American.”

And the family Research Council ain’t all.  The Christian Coalition gets in on the action —

Harkinson cites a Christian Coalition manual that states, “Christians have a responsibility to submit to the authority of their employers, since they are designated as part of God’s plan for the exercise of authority on the earth by man.”

So, if Sweet Jesus comes back and he’s a union carpenter, they’re gonna fire him.

Thanks to MB for the heads-up!

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Phew!

I just heard from three semi-reliable sources that General Ricardo Sanchez is the big dogs’ pick to run for the senate seat.

WASHINGTON — Democrats appear to have recruited retired Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez to run for the U.S. Senate in Texas, setting the stage for a potentially competitive race in 2012 for the seat of retiring Republican Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison.

Former Texas Lt. Gov. Ben Barnes confirmed that Washington Sen. Patty Murray, the head of the Democratic Senate campaign committee, was referring to Sanchez Thursday when she said that Democrats were very close to announcing a candidate in Texas.

Sanchez, reached by phone at his San Antonio home, said, “I can neither confirm nor deny.”

While Sanchez, the former top military commander in Iraq who was forced out by the Abu Ghraib prison scandal, wouldn’t speak about the Senate race, he did discuss his career and political philosophy.

“I would describe myself as during my military career as supporting the president and the Constitution,” Sanchez said. “After the military, I decided that socially, I’m a progressive, a fiscal conservative and a strong supporter, obviously, of national defense.”

Sanchez, a Rio Grande City, Texas, native, said that he was shaped by his upbringing.

“It’s my views and my history, having grown up in south Texas, depending on social programs and assistance, that America has a responsibility to its people,” he said.

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If I told you, you would not believe me.

(Momma, do not click this link.  It has the P word in it.)