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There’s some great news for Texas, maybe.  The national Democrats, who have used Texas for an ATM machine for the past three decades and left us to fend for ourselves in trying to raise money to beat back Republicans here, have new plans.

In the latest twist in the U.S. Senate race in Texas, Sen. Patty Murray of Washington state, chairwoman of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, made the surprising announcement Thursday that Texas will be one of the party’s “six in 12” — six target states with GOP seats up in 2012.

There’s at least one holdup with those plans: No well-known Democrat has publicly shown interest in making the race in Texas, where Republicans hold every statewide office.

Asked by the Star-Telegram why she is optimistic about Texas, Murray answered with “a two-word response: changing demographics.” Asked about a candidate, Murray said: “Yes, we’re talking to someone. I expect to see something very soon.”

“And that’s where the bad news may come into play,” Juanita suspects.  “The reason we finally can win in Texas is because of changing demographics.  But, I’m quivering in my boots that the highly paid and exceptionally dopey political consultants in Texas will help Washington decide that the Texas Democratic candidate should be one of the re-hashed old washed-up old white boys who ran faster than double geared lightening to the center and got their butts beat like a rented mule.”

“I swear on Momma’s Jammas that if they trot out a Nick Lampson, a Martin Frost,  a Chet Edwards, or any one of those guys who need to retire, this little hairdresser is gonna throw a walleyed snot nosed hissy fit.”

“I am up to here with with namby-pamby white guys who run as Democrats while openly apologizing for being Democrats.  And Honey, I’ve got big hair so up to here on me is cloud dusting,” she continues.

“We need someone who is ready to fight because the Republicans are not going to give us this seat, we will have to take it.  And, for Pete’s sake, quit hiring messaging consultants who have been hanging around begging for a paycheck since before Texas had barbed wire.”

“Patty, thank you for noticing Texas.  We appreciate that part.  Now give us a candidate who wants to win, dammit.”

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Republican Congressvarmint Ted Poe used to be a judge in Houston.  He was a jerk then and getting elected to congress hasn’t helped any.

Nothing is more embarrassing to an ole boy in Texas than being taken down and hog tied by a yankee fella.

Watch Ted Poe turn red.

Thanks to Gramian for the heads-up.

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Redistricting in Texas follows the rule of of thumb that whoever is the most petty and ridiculous wins some kind of jewel on their Republican crown.

This year it’s Charlie Howard.  Y’all have heard me stomp about Charlie before.  He’s been listed as The Single Most Conservative member of the Texas House, which is no small fete in Crazyville.  He’s a gun nut.  And admits to me that his major fault as a Super DeLux Brand Christian is that he’s greedy.  Very greedy.

And hypocritical.  He’s a regular on Texas Monthly’s Worst Lege List, even after shaking his finger at his first opponent for making the list once.  He’s serving his 8th term after running on a term limits platform.

Well, I found out this morning that after working for ten years to get my own personal state representative I could be proud of,  redistricting will put me in Charlie Howard’s district.  I’ve been riding in the back of the wagon all day.  No kidding, I cried like a little girl.

But that is not the best part of this story.  It’s just the personally sad part of the story.  A little girl; I cried like a little girl.

The best part of the story is that Charlie Howard knew he was going to have a tough opponent in the GOP primary next election.  Jacquie Baly Chaumette has been telling people that she is going to run against him in the GOP primary.  It’s a very Republican district.

Jacquie is currently on Sugar Land City Council, and has been active in the area doing good works for 18 years.  You might notice that she is a perfectly gorgeous African-American woman.  She is also well liked, accomplished, and smart as Rice University with a 50 pound dictionary.

Charlie cut her out of this district.  Seriously.  He split a voting precinct in half – something that very rarely done – and put her house one street over outside his district.

Son of a motherlessgoat.

She can literally throw rocks across the arbitrary district line, and I’ll admit she ain’t got much of an arm.

The Republicans will do anything – anything! – to keep a minority or a woman from winning a GOP primary.  Even something this openly petty.

Charlie Howard is going to lie about this and say he had nothing to do with it.  But, it hardly matters because he’s going to hell for being a greedy slob anyway.  I mean, what’s he got to lose by tellin’ a few lies?

Look, the bottom line is this.  The Republican Party  controls the state lege.  If they allow this to happen, it’s clear that they don’t have out the welcome mat for women or minorities.

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“Their vision is less about reducing the deficit than it is about changing the basic social compact in America.”

– President Barack Obama

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“I don’t even want to know where Dan Patrick gets off thinkin’ he’s above the law and somehow more special than all the rest of us,” Juanita hollers.  “How little must his winkie be to write a bill like this?”

Dan, the Gun Man

On Tuesday, the Senate Criminal Justice Committee took the first step to advance a bill by state Sen. Dan Patrick, R-Houston , that would allow legislators, statewide elected officials, some former legislators and some state employees to carry their concealed weapons in bars, churches and hospitals and at sporting events and other places they are currently prohibited — including businesses that post signs outside saying concealed handguns are prohibited.

“And then,” she suggests, “I want you to consider this:  what manner of giant big socialist government will we have if only government officials can carry guns wherever the hell they want to?”

“For a man who doesn’t like or trust government, he sure wants them heavily armed,” she says in amazement.

“Dan, Buddy,” Juanita hollers toward Austin, “I feel real bad about your lack of faith and your obvious physical shortcomings, but I don’t care who you are, you are not going to carry a gun this this beauty salon.  So, put that in your law and smoke it.”

“He does know that people are laughing at him, right?” she asks.