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The Monster That Wouldn’t Sine Die

Coming soon to a State Capitol near me.

(The special session starts tomorrow morning.   If you have a prayer list, put Texas on it.)

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When I told you guys about the late night kook talk radio and Dan Patrick and the TSA being part of the New World Order and everything, you thought I was just making that stuff up.

I was not.

Alex Jones: Lost and Mad

Sure ’nuff, the kook radio crowd and their leader Alex Jones showed up at the Texas State Capitol, promptly got lost, claimed we were siding with King George III, most of our representatives are closet homosexuals, and then they marched around warning that 9-11 was an inside job.  Well, maybe so, but I don’t think Texas had much to do with it.  We’re usually drunk, fixing to get drunk or barbequing, so we really don’t have time for that stuff.  Plus, most of us didn’t even know King George III, unless you’re talking about the King George Somethingorother who was the drunk wrestler.

Anyway, Senator Dan Patrick, who appears to be these folks’ hero, says he doesn’t know Alex Jones, the radio talk show host who organized the Go Get Lost At The Texas Capitol And Then Holler Some event.

When asked about the demonstration, Sen. Dan Patrick said that he was pleased that Texans had turned out to protest the failure of his anti-pat down legislation, but said that Jones was in no way affiliated with him.

“I don’t know who Alex Jones is… No idea,” Patrick said.

Oh, yeah?

Lookie here.

So, Dan, who was the guy claiming to be you, sounding exactly like you, on the Alex Jones radio show talking crazy stuff?  Sounds to me like Alex Jones is your Kemosabe, Tonto.

When you lay down with dogs, Dan, you get up with fleas.  Start scratching, Buddy.

“I don’t know who Alex Jones is… No idea,” Patrick said.  Is that gonna be your Senate slogan?

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From the New York Times —

Ms. Palin, the former governor of Alaska, has made it quite clear that she just wants to be left alone. She doesn’t want to accommodate members of the news media (except, perhaps, Fox.) And she is purposely avoiding any of the overtly political things that most politicians do, like meeting with local politicians.

I dunno.  Maybe it’s just me.  But, when I go on a family vacation and want to be left alone, I don’t drive this —

But that’s probably just me.

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The Texas Legislature was so heavy on Republicans this session that they could simply have their way with the State and do whatever they wanted.  Where do you let a two ton elephant sit?  Anywhere he wants to.

Apparently, what they wanted was to prove that Republicans are the largest bunch of grandstanding self-loathing spite filled Jeeeesus swearing hypocrites oozing out  of the third level of hell.

Outside of hating women, immigrants, people who don’t think guns are the coolest thing ever, schoolchildren, the maim, the sick, the elderly, propaganda that does not involve at least one nakkid ta-ta, teachers, state universities, an actual state budget, and a large assortment of consumer protections, they pretty much didn’t accomplish much at all.

Oh yeah, except for keeping texting while driving and smoking in restaurants safe.  That’s because State Senator Glenn Hegar thinks he can text and drive when everybody knows he can’t even think and talk at the same time.  And State Senator Joan Huffman loves her some smoking in all the honky tonks her husband owns.  Joan Huffman is a complete waste of estrogen.

To their credit, they pretty much overlooked gays this session.  My guess is that this was on purpose because Rick Perry wants to run for President and, well, you know the rumors.  I think they assigned one state rep to go to crazy ole Leo Berman’s office every morning to say, “Not the gays, Leo, the illegal immigrants.  That’s who’s causing all the problems.  Not gays, immigrants.  Go sic ‘um, Leo.”  Crazy Ole Leo spent the majority of the session with little spittle things forming at the edges of his mouth about those goldurn Mexicans.”

Texas education had as much chance as a steer in a packing plant this session.  The major Republican accomplishment this session was to try to find a place lower than last for Texas education.  They fearlessly went spelunking to do it.

They made a mess of state redistricting and didn’t even touch Congressional redistricting.  But, in all fairness, what’s a little thing like a state budget and redistricting when you’ve got to pass a bill giving tax breaks for yachts over $250,000?

What they did accomplish was summed up by my State Rep, Ron Reynolds —

The Legislative Budget Board, an independent non-partisan arm of the State, predicts that the proposed House budget would result in a projected job loss of 335,000 Texas jobs, including nearly 90,000 teacher jobs, and would result in 50,000 – 60,000 elderly citizens being kicked out of nursing homes. The practical reality of the House’s $8 billion cut to public education is a reduction of approximately $800 in per pupil funding, which equates to roughly a $20,000 cut to each public school classroom.

Ho boy, that is sweet music to a Republican’s ears!  They are strutting like a dog with two tails.

The Lege is almost certainly going into special session, which is like a doubleheader for political watchers.  It’s two games for the price of one.  Well, except the taxpayers of Texas will pay for the second session all because Republicans, as P J O’Rourke says, don’t believe government works and then get elected to prove it.

Governor Rick Perry will come to the Capitol to call a special session, and then go back to his $10,000 a month taxpayer funded Casa Grande and smoke some cigars.  He’ll offer no help whatsoever.  I suspect I should not complain about that.

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Most of y’all know Hannah Giles of James O’Keefe / Hannah Giles Prostitute and Pimp at ACORN Fame.  And,  if you’ve been hanging around the beauty salon for a while, you know there is a Fort Bend County connection.

Hannah’s Grandmother is a doozy of a Super DeLux Brand Christian right here in my county.  Even our Congressvarmint, Pete Olson, got Hannah Congressional recognition for playing a hooker, which is kinda cool since it takes one to know one.

Well, then Hannah went into her second career playing a prostitute.  She sent out pink fundraising letters because she was the victim of the evil Obama people.  The nasty ole people at ACORN,  the ones she illegally taped, lied about, and tried to destroy, are fighting back against Little Miss Pink Innocence.

And, by gawd, they are winning.

As to Giles, the court rejected her argument that she can’t be liable because she wasn’t the one physically recording the conversation. “Penal Code § 31 [the aiding and abetting statute –EV] is applicable to § 632 which allows for Giles to be viewed as a principal [and thus potentially liable –EV] whether or not she actually physically recorded the confidential conversation.

So, she’s claiming that she was just an innocent bystander?  Dressed like a hooker?  I know, that happens to me all the time.  I’m just standing around dressed like a hooker and some dang fool next to me starts breaking the law.  If I had a nickle for every time that happened, I’d …. okay, okay, I wouldn’t even have a nickle.

I do not know what Hannah bought with the money people sent to pay for lawyers, because it obviously wasn’t lawyers.

Thanks to Deb and Kyle for the heads-up.

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The modern Sugar Land, Texas,  Ku Klux Klan, which is alive and kicking, is so busy that they’re burning rocket fuel.

I’d hate to be the preacher who has to think of something nice to say about them when they die.

They don’t wear pillowcases and sheets now days.  Instead, they do their high-tech lynching by mailing  anonymous assassination pieces that are completely illegal, immoral, and totally devoid of facts.  Of course, it’s illegal.  It’s also poopie del pollo.  And, Honey, you can paint that on the barn with waterproof paint and sign my name and address to it.

Farha Ahmed

A female attorney named Farha Ahmed is in a run-off for a seat on Sugar Land City Council.  Farha, who is smart, involved in her community, and drop dead gorgeous, is a Muslim.   Oh.  Dear.  God.

They have attacked her like a conventioneer at a free buffet.  They have called her an Al Qaeda sympathizer and have put her life in danger with lies, innuendo, and hate.  It’s lies, lies, lies.

First it was an anonymous website.  I never believe a damn word I read at an anonymous website.  If it’s the truth, you ought to be proud to hold it up over your head and grin.

Then came the  hate mailer.  (This is a PDF document.)  You cannot spend more than $500 on political material without reporting it to the Texas Ethics Commission.  The “disclaimer” on this is “A political ad paid for by a concerned citizen of Sugar Land District 4.”

First off, I went to the Texas Ethics Commission and there is no reporting by that name.  Shocked, aren’t ya?

Second off, I have no idea what the hell place this person is a “citizen” of, but I betcha they have stalags there.

Farha has voted in every Republican primary since 2002 (I hope this has opened her eyes to never do that again) but the Chairman of the Fort Bend County Republican Party has been shamefully silent about denouncing this kind of politics.  Of course, I can kinda understand this since praising Jesus loudly on the street corners and waving your Bible in everybody’s nose is pretty much a full time job.  Plus, planning Loonyapoolza Paranoid Fest keeps him pretty busy, too.

They’ve moved from being goofy to being dangerous.  I ain’t got nothing better to do with my time so I’m gonna try to see if they’ve violated any US Mail regulations.  I’d love to get the Feds to track them down and pull off their hoods.