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Oh, this is good.  It’s even goofy Republican good.

It seems that New Jersey Republican Governor Chris Christie, who is so rotund  that he should have John Deere stamped on his butt, arrived at his son’s little league baseball game in a state helicopter.

No, seriously.  They have pictures.

A state helicopter and a full squad of Lord only knows how many other people are needed to fly the Governor around on a helicopter.  Man, I hope they had some rocket fuel in that sucker because Christi once fell down and rocked himself to sleep trying to get up.

But, it gets better —

Christie arrived shortly before 4 p.m. to watch his son Andrew play baseball for Delbarton School. He was driven from the helicopter about 100 yards to the field in a black car with tinted windows.

Really?  He couldn’t walk 100 yards?

Good Lord, the man’s shadow weights 17 pounds.  He looks like he ate his brother in the limo.

So what did this display of fat-cat Republican entitlement cost the taxpayers?

Christie was ferried to the field in a brand-new AugustaWestland helicopter, purchased at a cost to taxpayers of $12.5 million.

The State Police has received two of the five helicopters purchased so far, according to testimony from Attorney General Paula Dow during a May budget hearing.

The helicopters, which can reach nearly 200 miles per hour with its twin turbo-shaft engines, are designed for homeland security duties and transporting critically injured patients.

Oddly enough, the Governor had no official duties on the day in question, so nobody knows where he was traveling from.  However, we do know one thing —

Christie had a private meeting Tuesday night at the governor’s mansion with a group of Iowa donors who are trying to pursuade him to run for president.

Well, it’s pretty damn obvious that he can’t run for President, but maybe he could helicopter for it.

Thanks to Janette for the heads-up.

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Last week a customer sent me something that appeared at a satirical website they thought I would enjoy.  It was called The Five Saddest Things People Do To Look Smart.  (Momma, don’t click the link.  There’s some dirty words there and I’m already skating the edge with what I want to do to Pete Olson’s campaign bus.)

I’ll just tell you the good part —

So you’ll get a kid that’s just read Atlas Shrugged and thinks they’ve stumbled on a “I bet you never thought of this” goldmine of ideas to dump on people and dazzle them, not realizing those ideas are on the fringe not because they are obscure but because most people think they are lame.

Exactly.

And, it also explains why Rand Paul is generally as confused as a goat on Astroturf.  He starts the week by lecturing us all about how the Patriot Act is evil, evil, Stalin evil, but then takes a sharp right turn and says on the radio….

I’m not for profiling people on the color of their skin, or on their religion, but I would take into account where they’ve been traveling and perhaps, you might have to indirectly take into account whether or not they’ve been going to radical political speeches by religious leaders. It wouldn’t be that they are Islamic. But if someone is attending speeches from someone who is promoting the violent overthrow of our government, that’s really an offense that we should be going after — they should be deported or put in prison.

So, Rand, what if I’m an innocent bystander at a street corner speech?  I can be put in prison for merely listening?  Doesn’t that kinda violate my First Amendment rights?

Look, if you’re going to go to all the trouble of being an ideologue, go the tiny bit extra and be a good one.

Personally, I think he read the Cliff Notes version of Atlas Shrugged.  I imagine it’s not any good either.

And, y’all, what is that thing on his head?  It looks like Donald Trump got a perm.

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The headline says it all.

Rick Perry to replace Donald Trump at New York dinner.

“Oh cool,” Juanita says, “Rick Perry is next on the list of hilariously unserious Republican Presidential nominees.  I figured he’d be near the top.”

Rick Perry isn’t running for President.  He saw that people with a sketchy background can easily be the GOP Veep nominee so he and his hair are running for Vice President.

It might be the hairdresser’s dream, though.  Donald Trump and Rick Perry’s hair meet Sarah Palin’s bump-it.  “When those three get together, it’s a cosmetology convention,” Juanita grins.

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Y’all, we do not know what is eating Pat Robertson’s brain, but Juanita is betting her best pair of pink boots that it’s something really, really big.

And, bless his heart, he would probably tell you that hating black people is a lot like hating Hitler, too.

Matthew 7:21

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

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Well, well, well, lookie ‘about right here at this. (It’s a pdf).  It does appear that my own personal congressman, Republican Pete Olson, who is a wholly owned subsidiary of Phil Gramm, Inc., has got himself a “leadership PAC.”

Well, if Sarah Palin can have a leadership PAC that pays for her family summer vacation, why can’t Cap’n. Pete?

A leadership PAC is not illegal.  It should be, dammit, but it’s not.  It’s set up far away from the congressvarmint’s home district – note this one is run out of Athens, Georgia, by a dude named Paul Kilgore.  Neither Cap’n Pete nor Paul are terribly creative – they named the PAC, prepare yourself, “Freedom Matters.”

Really?  It does?  Heck, alert the media!

So, if you’re against Cap’n. Pete raising money from the corporate criminal UBS – where his mentor Phil Gramm gnawed on greed until it screamed for mercy – and hiding that money from the folks back home, then you don’t think freedom matters, which of course makes you a bad person and Pete a good one because Pete cares about freedom.  Even if it is the freedom to feast on corporate kickbacks.

Now if he had named it Honesty Matters, then we could file a slander suit in honesty’s behalf.

Y’all, if Cap’n Pete comes driving into Texas in a big ole bus painted with Freedom Matters on the side, I swear by all that is holy in my life that I will climb on top and take a leak.  You cannot arrest an old woman in Texas for having a urinary accident on top of a bus.  It’s the law.  I checked.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

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My new State Representative, Ron Reynolds, was awarded Outstanding Freshman by his fellow state representatives last night at the end of the session.

You can go here, scroll to the bottom and leave a comment for him.  No matter where you live, you can show appreciation to a hard working Democrat who is willing to stand up and fight.  He’s earned it.

He had one hour of celebration and now he’s back at work for the special session, where Texas Republicans fully intend to show America what jerks they truly are.