Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

General Ricardo Sanchez

June 04, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

.

I was among the first people to get to hear General Ricardo Sanchez speak.  This will bore the socks off people from foreign states but for the Democrats here who haven’t heard him, I’ve decided to talk honestly about it.

General Sanchez is Ben Barnes and Patty Murray’s choice for Democratic Senator from Texas.  Sanchez spoke to a group of State Democratic Executive Committee folks, county chairs, and hardcore activists at the South Texas Summit in San Antonio this weekend.

I will say this:  having seen some of Ben Barnes other choices for public office, I was pleasantly surprised with General Sanchez.  He appears to be a real Democrat.  He’s also a pretty smart guy.

He’s a nice looking fella (I’ll have pictures later) and dressed perfectly for this group – studied casual.  His answer to the first question – Are you pro-choice? – knocked it out of the ballpark.  He said that he had spent his entire life “fighting to give people the right to make decisions on their own.”  He said he is a man of faith, a Catholic, but that he would never use his religious beliefs to force a decision on someone else.  “Freedom is about the ability to make your own decisions.”  That’s a double in the bottom on the 9th with two men on base.

He tripped when asked if he would campaign with Barack Obama or run from him.  He sidestepped the question and continually used the word “non-partisan.”  It came back to bite him on the butt.  When Democrats hear non-partisan, they hear “give into Republicans.”  An elderly gentleman who is the former county judge in Bexar county, gently schooled Sanchez on Democratic ideals right there.  It was a thing of beauty. “Republicans,” said the former county judge, “put profits over people and financial institutions over families.”  I hope Sanchez remember that.

The rest of the way was smooth sailing.  He supports The Dream Act and told an emotional story about serving with men and women who earned the right of citizenship.  He did well with the immigration question by reminding  us that he had been tasked with securing the borders of two counties.  He explained it had to be an multi-pronged approached.

He wants to mobilize the Democratic base who he says are teachers, minorities, the working class, the elderly … for this election.  When asked about the EPA he said, “As Christians, we have a duty to protect the environment.”

He’s the son of single mother who was on welfare.

It appeared that General Sanchez was willing to take questions from the floor but Charlie Jones (SDEC for Texas Democratic Veterans) was hosting and insisted question had to be written.  Jones tossed questions about Abu Ghraib or if Sanchez had ever voted Republican.  That’s a shame because Sanchez will be asked those questions.

I have a few suggestions for whoever is working with him to take this show on the road.

1.  Take his watch away from him.  He doesn’t need a watch and he certainly doesn’t need to look at it every two minutes.  I know that’s military training, but it makes the audience think they are boring him or that something else is more important.

2.  Tell him to quit calling everyone “sir” or “ma’am.”  I understand that’s going to be hard but Wesley Clark learned to do it.  Calling a woman “ma’am” makes her feel old, and I sure don’t need him reminding me.

3.  Toss the non-partisan talk.  Forget the word.  Say, “As a military man I have learned to work well with others.  I will not back down from a fight when it’s about principles, but I can also lead people to come together.”

4.  His “Let me tell you who I am” introduction is good.  He needs a closer.  His last words were to abruptly say thank you and head for the door.

I left feeling better about him that when I came.  I suspect that’s a victory.

Sorry, I’ve Been Outta Pocket

June 04, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

.

I was totally unavailable for Sarah Palin’s history lesson.

That just doesn’t seem fair.  I get busy and Sarah says something so asinine that Momma even says that I can use the work asinine even though it sounds dirty.

“He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.”

Please allow me to join with the lamestream media in saying, “Holy Cow!”

Anybody know what’s the deal with the bells?  Was Paul Revere hitching a ride on the ice cream truck?

Okay, I know you’ve been waiting … go comment!

Friday Toon

June 03, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Somebody At Chase Has a Sense of Humor (Maybe)

June 03, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

.

Folks who have been around here for a while know that I spent the better part of my life writing for a local newspaper saying that Tom DeLay was a crook.  Come to find out, I was right.

It was fun because it was a newspaper that went to his house.  I was also right about him being a womanizer, a drunk, a hypocrite, a vindictive self serving little man, and a flaming sanctimonious nincompoop.   I gave him the name Hot Tub Tom and it stuck and I’m proud.

Now, and this is totally true and serious, this arrived at Bubba’s writ twit office yesterday.

It is an application for a Chase credit card for my business.

But, notice who it’s for —-

No, really.  Take another look.


Now, either somebody at Chase has a sense of humor, or – and this might well be the trick – this completely explains why Chase went bankrupt and needed a bailout  – they are giving a line of credit to a fictional character and a convicted felon.

Dude, that ain’t too big to fail.  That, my friend, is too dumb to bail.

Now, I am highly tempted to open this line of credit and go buy the entire inventory of Sharia Law’s Adult Bookstore and Naughty Novelties in Tom and Juanita’s name.  Or maybe even the score by taking Jack Abramoff on a free trip to Scotland to play golf and send the bill to Tom.

Bubba says I need to get a DBA as Tom Delay and Juanita.  He says he’d rent me a backroom at his Writ Twit Palace for a very reasonable price for me to run Tom and Juanita’s Bleeding Heart Knee Jerk Liberal Food Bank and Hourly Hot Tub Rentals.  Tom, of course, would do the hot tub part.

I am going to have such fun filling out this application ….

Shuddup, Rick. Just Shuddup.

June 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

.

So, let me get this right.  Jeeesus wants us to slash Texas education to teach the little children that there are more important things than education?  Like Rick’s bank account, maybe?

“There a real special place in hell for this guy,” Juanita promises.  “I just know there is.  Sweet Jesus doesn’t like it when you blame him for the economic mess you created.”

But Jesus called them, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

Luke 18:16

Go on, Rick, use Sweet Jesus as an excuse to be greedy. And be sure to hurt children first.  “Honey, he’s gonna have to look up to see the bottom pit of hell,” Juanita says.

And while we’re on the subject of people going to hell, there’s more on Chris Christie.  He’s decided that families making more than $6,000 a year are just too damn rich to qualify for Medicaid.

Good Lord, that’s what his dinner costs.

But I’m sure that State helicopter rides will still be free.

Going to hell.  They are all going to hell.

Reason #429 Why Rick Perry is NOT Running for President, No Matter What the Media Says

June 02, 2011 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

.

Reason #429 – Rick Perry knows that someone somewhere in the media owns a pocket calculator.  I know he’s got a total lack of smart but he’s gotta know that someone somewhere is good at arithmetic.

Perry knows a little arithmetic himself.  You give your friends tax money, they return it in campaign contributions.  Magic money!

It’s called the Texas Emerging Technology Fund but it appears to have become a smoke filled backroom with the Governor and his friends being the only ones who emerge without smoke in their eyes.  Perry has total control over the fund, which my friends in Austin call Buddha Money.  “Rub Perry’s tummy and you get lucky,” they say.

The latest revelations include a long list of connections between the fund’s advisers and companies that have obtained tech fund awards. The Morning News investigation revealed that $27 million has been paid to ventures tied to former technology fund advisory committee members.

The Lege passed some oversight legislation and now everyone is waiting to see if Perry vetoes it  on his way to becoming the male Sarah Palin.

They say he’s mad enough to eat bees over this legislation, because he was planning on using this tax money to launch his nationwide campaign.  Now he’ll have to get the people who want to bury nuclear waste in Texas to give him money.

“Welcome to Perry World, where the screwing you got ain’t nothin’ compared to the screwing you’re fixing to get,” Juanita warns.