14 years is not a day too much for political corruption.

And you know that because he’s is fabulously insulted that Hillary Clinton and President Obama made speeches yesterday saying that it is not right to harass and and murder gay people.

I mean, I’m pretty much almost kinda sure that Rick doesn’t think it’s right to harass and murder gay people.  He just doesn’t think telling right wing extremest not to harass and murder gay people should be said out loud.

After both President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made impassioned speeches Tuesday urging gay rights abroad, Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry issued a response decrying the “deeply objectionable” gay lifestyle.

“This is just the most recent example of an administration at war with people of faith in this country,” Perry said in a statement.

And then he goes on to say …

“This administration’s war on traditional American values must stop,” Perry said.

I want you to look at the crop of Republican presidential candidates and tell me what traditional American values are according to them.  Good Lord, there ain’t a one of them who can enter a church without fear of a lightening strike.

But, it’s the gay one that gets Rick on a roll.  And that’s because Rick Perry is not gay.

Just wanted you to know.

I have said before that if you were to stick a pin in Newt Gingrich, the force of ego alone would make him fly around the room backwards for three days making pooting sounds.  Last I heard, he’s taking full credit for the Clinton economy and a balanced budget.

Today he announced that he is responsible for Mitt Romney’s wealth.  Well, thanks a lot, Newt, for including me on that little gift.

Other Things Newt Gingrich is Responsible For

1.  The Hallelujah Chorus – inspired by Newt’s overwhelming hanky-panky-inducing passion for his country

2.  The Star on top of the San Jacinto Monument – Newt still has the scars on his knees from climbing that sucker to put the star on top.

3.  Sex – well, duh.  If he didn’t invent it, at least he used it the most.

4.  Microwave popcorn

5.  You know that cramp you get in your foot in the middle of the night where nothing will stop it until you stand up and wish death rays on your foot?  Well, Newt had nothing – I repeat, nothing – to do with that.

6.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day – Newt’s idea.

7.  You know when Capt. Sullenberger safely landed his airplane in the Hudson River, saving all lives on board and inspiring a nation?  Well, who do you think was the brilliant person who released the birds at the exactly the right minute to cause  the engines to fail and this whole wonderful thing to happen?  Yeah.  Newt.

8.  While Newt did not design the American flag, he is responsible for Betsy Ross.

9.  The Beatles

10.  Full moons.

I hope you are writing a thank you note to Newt, The Most Interesting Man in the World.  He doesn’t have sex often, but when he does, it’s with your wife.

I would like to vote that Ron Paul gets to be the next Crazy Fool in the Spotlight for the Republican Party.

But, of course, not before Donald Trump announces that he’s leveraged the Republican Party and all future primary contests will be decided by nude mud wrestling at the Trump Casino in Trump, Ohio, judged by the Trump ex-wives and featured on the Trump-O-Vision television network.   I just gotta see that first.

But watching a little crazy man run all over the country pushing a wheelbarrow of gold coins, hollering at little children to get a damn job, followed by a herd of dope smokin’ hippies and people who “discovered” Ayn Rand after age 40, and a couple of people who thought he was Emperor Palpatine, would be a mess a fun.

And some of that fun has already started.  Go to www.rickperry.com and see where you end up.

His children are going to have to start cleaning bathrooms.

Newt is busted.

Creditors say Gingrich has begun paying back nearly $1.2 million in bills he owed at the end of September, and his spokesman says most will be taken care of by the end of the year. Other debts — including $42,000 owed to Gingrich himself for the campaign’s use of a mailing list — had already been paid ahead of other vendors, according to aides and disclosure records.

So, he owes people money and who does he pay first?  Why, Newt, of course.  Can you even imagine how that little deal would have gone had Newt not found Jesus and turned from his sinful ways?

According to people who can do math, Newt was spending $3 for every $2 he took in.  Personally, I think he caught some George Bush conservatism.  You know, the kind where you spend money like it grows on bracelets at Tiffany’s?

Thanks to Barbara for the heads-up.

We’ve got some news.  It’s good.

On Tuesday, December 13, the Attorney General will travel to Austin to deliver remarks at the Lyndon Baines Johnson Presidential Library & Museum. Nearly half a century since President Johnson signed the landmark Voting Rights Act into law, Attorney General Holder will discuss the importance of ensuring equal access to the ballot box and strengthening America’s long tradition of expanding the franchise.

Eric Holder was sworn in as Attorney General of the United States on February 3, 2009. In 1997, President Clinton named Mr. Holder as the Deputy Attorney General, the first African American in that post. Previously, he served as U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia and was a litigation partner at Covington & Burling LLP in Washington.

An RSVP is required to attend.

RSVP to janie.sides@nara.gov  The event begins at 6:00 p.m. and the doors open at 5:15 p.m.

I do not know what Attorney General Holder intends to say, but I seriously doubt that he’s coming all the way to Lyndon’s Library to praise Voter ID laws in Texas.  I’ll be there.  Hope to see you there, too.