I’ve been out shoppin’ and boppin’ with Momma all day, but I came home to find a gazillion emails telling me about this —

On the stump in Iowa Saturday evening, Rick Perry made made yet another spectacular gaffe. According to CNN, the Texas governor tried to accuse President Obama of ‘picking winners and losers,’ but ended up saying something a little different:

“I want to say it was over $500 million that went to the country Solynda.”

Uh, was that West Solyndra or East Solyndra?  And the capitol of Solynda is New Halliburton.  Main export?  Utah.  Newly elected President of Solynda?  Bananas.

Y’all, seriously, his head ain’t screwed on right.

Momma, who is Christian lady who rarely speaks ill of anyone unless they cuss, was trying to be nice today when she told a store clerk in the sweetest 86 year old voice, “I think there’s something wrong with him.  I think he needs a doctor, not a campaign manager.”

Momma nailed that one.

I was going through some Christmas stuff last night and came across a Holiday card from Rick Perry.  To be honest, I have no idea what year it was sent, but the return address was the Gov Shack.

Take a look —

If you look real close, you’ll see that the word “Christmas” seems to be missing.  Rick?  Where’s Christmas?

There is a scripture at the bottom but it’s the old testament, so “The Lord” is God, not Sweet Jesus.

No Christmas?  Does Jerry Falwell know about this?  Rick?  Rick?

One other thing … last summer the Houston Chronicle did some digging and discovered that Rich Rick may talk the talk, but walking the walk …. not so much.

From 2000, when Perry became governor, through 2009, he earned a total of $2.68 million, according to his tax records. Of that amount, he gave about half a percent to churches and religious organizations, or $14,243.

By comparison, Americans averaged gifts of nearly 1.2 percent of their income to churches and religious groups from 2004 to 2008, according to Empty Tomb Inc., an Illinois-based research firm specializing in U.S. church-giving trends.

The Chronicle article was from June of this year and contains a remarkable quote.

Perry declined an interview request by the Houston Chronicle/San Antonio Express-News to discuss his views on prayer, personal religious observance and charitable giving.

“He never talks about his faith,” Perry spokesman Mark Miner said.

He never talks about his faith?  No, no, wait.  I must not be reading that right.  He.  Never. Talks. About. His. Faith.  Yep, I read it right.

Uh, best I can tell, that’s ALL he talks about lately.  How quickly we forget.

UPDATE:

Laura found one, too.

The most disliked You Tube in the history of internet tubes, Rick Perry’s anti-gay teevee commercial, just hit another subliminal message.

We know the jacket Rick wears in the ad is exactly like the one in Brokeback Mountain.  But there’s more.

The music in the background is by Aaron Copeland.  I should have know that because he’s one of my favorite composers.  But there’s got to be another subliminal message here because Aaron Copeland was a communist, Jewish … wait for it … proud gay man.

Thanks to Irene for the heads-up.

Republicans are looking for any way to say they aren’t voting for Romney without saying, “Yikes!  He’s a Mormon!  Which sounds suspiciously like Muslim.”  Their theory is that if Mormons did not want to be mistaken for Muslims, they should have named themselves something else.  You know, like Baptist or Pentecostals.

Their latest strawman is that last night in the GOP debate, Romney bet Rick Perry $10,000 that Rick was wrong about some damn thing.  Who knows what it was.  That’s not important.  I’m sure Rick doesn’t know because every answer he gave was “blah blah blah blah oh look, a frisbee!”

Republicans think that betting $10,000 shows that Romney is out of touch with the average American.  Seriously.  They are saying that.  Like anybody on that stage is in touch with the average American.

Oh hell, give me a break and an American Express Gold Card!  There was not a sumbitch on that stage who could not afford a $10,000 bet.  Every one of them probably had $10,000 in their pocket right then and there except for Ron Paul, who had it in gold in a wheelbarrow in the green room — which he totes around with him just in case the revolution comes and he needs a suit that fits.

One other thing:  Saying that Newt is the smart one on the stage is like saying that Jeb is the smart Bush.  It don’t take much.  “Palestinians are an invented people,” can be translated into candidate-speak as, “Jews have lots of money and I need some.”

That’s entertainment!

I do not ask much of you.  Okay, okay, so I do but here’s something else.

Sen. Bernie Sanders has proposed a constitutional amendment that would overturn the Supreme Court decision in Citizens United vs. FEC.

For Pete’s Sake, what are you doing just sitting there.  Go sign it.  Now.

Thanks to Jimbo for the heads-up.

It’s a damn goat rodeo.

In a move that resembles Bush v. Gore, the  judges on the Supreme Court have thrown a monkey wrench into the entire Texas electoral system. The whole damn thing.  Hell, this is so confusing that we might stop having elections.  We don’t seem to be real good at picking great people anyway, so what the hell do we have to lose?  Hell, at this point, I’m betting the Supremes rule that Antonin Scalia gets to pick all our elected officials with an assist from the Heritage Foundation and Texas’ expert on redistricting, Tom DeLay.  Tom’s tan, rested, and not in prison.

Our filing deadline for public office is December 15th, but The Supremes have decided that they will hear oral arguments against Texas redistricting on  January 9th and decide whenever they get around to it.  So, we can either have our candidates run for an office that they don’t even live in or hold a double primary – one for President, county and statewide offices, the rest – Texas House and Senate and U.S. Congressional – two months later.

Nobody has a clue about how we’re going to pay for this.  Holding primary elections is expensive.  Holding two primary elections is twice as expensive.  And the Texas Secretary of State is already cutting back on the pay for election workers because – all together now – we can’t afford it.

But, the bottom line is that nobody, not even all the damn writ twits at my house, knows what the Supreme Court ruling means, including Harold and Kuff.  And I’ve come to depend on them knowing everything.  Well, except accessorizing – they are both really, really bad at that.

The best background information is here, which basically says that there are no rules to a knife fight.

It’s a damn goat rodeo.