I know I appear to be obsessed with East Texas Congressvarmint Louie Gohmert, but Louie is obsessed with acting crazy.  I love people like that.

For those of you new here, East Texas is pines, poverty, and Pentecostals.  They flat out love Louie because he’s a pinhead, keeping with their whole P themed thing.

Louie made the Washington Post for his views on how the Alaskan pipeline is going to help caribou get lucky.

No, seriously, Louie is now an expert on caribou sparkin’ and canoodlin’ even though there were no caribou in East Texas even during the ice age, which is something Louie ought to know because that’s when he was born.

Even with Alaska Representative Don Young sitting next to him openly laughing at Louie’s theory that caribou love the heat the pipeline produces so it becomes their bachelor pad, Louie could not contain himself.

It seems that Gohmert is also something of an expert on animal husbandry. Here’s his theory: The caribou very much enjoy the warmth the pipeline radiates. “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the pipeline,” he informed his colleagues. It’s apparently the equivalent of being wined and dined. And that has resulted in a tenfold caribou population boom, he concluded.

No, he’s not kidding.  Louie thinks that shutting down the pipeline will keep caribou from doing the wild thing.  Because they like heat.  Which is why they live in Alaska.  In the tundra.

Hey, y’all, I’m just telling you this in case you’re ever caught in an elevator with Louie Gohmert.  No matter what, do not generate heat.  Lord only knows what it does to Louie but it could not be something good.

Thanks to Anthony for the heads-up.

Okay, people seem to be having trouble with the link I provided below. It’s not you, it’s me.

We are going to try one more time, or until I get it right, whichever comes first, which usually means until I finally, oh dear God finally, get it right.

Try this link.

Remember:  you have to sign up for an account – “Create an Account” – at the White House, which ain’t no skin off your nose unless you’re hiding out your email address after some horrible crime of moral turpitude.  And if you are, I do NOT want to know about it.  Okay?  Don’t tell me.  Not even in the comment section.  Seriously.  I’m not even curious about it.

Time’s a’waistin’ and we need 3,000 more folks to sign the petition.  Do it!  Hell, if you tried before, try again because it appears that the last link didn’t work.

Thank you for your repeat business even after I screw everything up.

Dudes and Dudettes-

A couple of weeks ago, I asked you to sign a petition on President Obama’s website.  If we get 25,000 signatures President Obama promises he will look at our petition to “Nominate New Commissioners to the Federal Election Commission.”

Most of you went over and signed it.  I appreciate that because this is something near and dear to my heart.  We only need 5,500 more signatures by Friday.  If you didn’t sign it, do it now.  If you did, find at least one other person who will add their name to the growing list.  You’ve got a friend you can talk into it.  I know you can.

Thank you for your help with this.  It’s important.  It really is.

Susan

And Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen thanks you, too.

You have to get an account with WhiteHouse.gov before you can sign the petition. It’s free, easy, and they do NOT spam you.

Or gay.  It’s great to be gay today.

Take that, you hateful old people, trying to run everybody else’s lives.

Several customers sent me a site that I didn’t use here because Momma would chase us all down with a bar of soap.  It has the F bomb, but it you don’t mind that, this is darned funny and adorable.

Tyler, Texas.  I swear to God.

.

Yes, these are the people who elect Leo Berman and now we understand why he’s so greasy.

Thanks to Dianne for the heads up.

She quit and then she whined.

A high-ranking official resigned Tuesday from the Susan G. Komen for the Cure breast-cancer charity after a dispute over whether the group should give funding to Planned Parenthood, according to a letter obtained by The Associated Press.

Karen Handel, the charity’s vice president for public policy, told Komen officials that she supported the move to cut off funding for Planned Parenthood. She said the discussion started before she arrived at the organization and was approved at the highest levels of the charity.

“I am deeply disappointed by the gross mischaracterizations of the strategy, its rationale, and my involvement in it,” Handel said in her letter.

And Margaret and Helen put the gree-gree on The Komen Foundation, and then sent a call to all grown up women across America.

And then Brother Mike Luckovich took it for a ride —

.

.

As did Houston’s own Nick Anderson —

.

Yes, it is a good day to be grown up woman.  But that’s pretty much every day, isn’t it?