Those wacky Catholics!

They have decided that gay male Catholics will be just fine if they just “football-up.”  They are sponsoring a sport’s camp for gay men.

Courage, a Catholic group that encourages people with same-sex attraction to remain celibate, is holding its 13th annual sports camp in which “men physically compete on the field while enriching their souls through a daily regimen of prayer, confessions, mass, and the Liturgy of the Hours,” according to the group’s website.

And why would they do this?

Therapist Paul Kleponis of the Institute for Marital Healing in West Conshohocken has said at Courage conferences that he believes homosexuality was rooted in childhood rejection and trauma and that through therapy people could develop an attraction for the opposite sex. He declined to comment for this story.

Some of that rejection, at least for men, can be linked to failure at sports, the group maintains.

Well, danged.  So what you’re telling me is that there are no gay professional athletes.  I did not know that.

So, you get a bunch of gay guys together, playing a hot sweaty game of tackle and what could possibly go wrong?

Y’all, it’s a Catholic gay sports bar.

I think that’s pretty cool, but I think they should call it that.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

I want you to meet Diane Tran.  She’s 17 years old and lives with one of her employers in Montgomery, Texas, a cabal of Republicanism where they even want a proper drape on Michelangelo’s David because his wee-wee shows.  Seriously.

Dianne is an honors student taking dual credit U.S. History, dual credit English Literacy, College Algebra, Spanish Language AP. She also works part time and full time jobs at a dry cleaners and a wedding venue. Her parents divorced and disappeared. She lives with her employer’s family. The money she earns goes to an older brother at Texas A&M and a younger sister living with relatives in Houston.

She spent the night in jail.

What heinous crime did she commit?  She missed too much school. She often stays up until 7:00 am doing homework and falls asleep in class.  This community of Super DeLux Brand Christians were apparently so distracted that a statue of David had an actual weenus  showing that they did not notice a 17 year old honors student supporting her entire family while making the honor roll.

So, they put her lazy butt in jail.

The Honorable Republican Judge Lanny Moriarty wanted to make an example of Diane.

“If you let one run loose, what are you gonna’ do with the rest of ’em?,” said Judge Lanny Moriarty. “Let them go too? A little stay in the jail for one night is not a death sentence.”

Lanny, Dude, she is not running loose.  Lanny, Dude, this baby girl needs help, not punishment.  Open your damn Republican wallet with a sledgehammer, Lanny, and give this child a couple bucks.  Hold one of those golf tournaments you Republicans love and let this baby girl sleep in the locker room while you Christian boys drink some beer and slap each others hineys.

The wise Judge Moriarty also gave Diane a $100 fine.  Lanny, Dude, that’s not helping the situation.

Republicans just don’t get it.  They really don’t.

He made her an example, okay.  He did.  He made her an example of the cruelty and meanness the Republican Party brings to the American arena.

You can contact the good Republican Judge on Tuesday being your usual kind selves and ask if you can send a couple of bucks to him to help pay Diane’s fine.  But you want some kind of proof that it went toward her fine and not his wallet with the chain and double lock around it.

Lanny better pray he can take his money with him and that Sweet Jesus takes bribes because that’s the only way he’s gonna get to heaven.

Thanks to all the folks who sent me this very creepy story.

Oprah used to do shows all the time on getting rid of shame.

I don’t think that shame is a bad thing.  Shame is what keeps me from going to the grocery store nakkid or leg wrestling with the entire front line of the Dallas Cowboys defense.

Some people don’t have enough shame and that can make a mess of things.

I try like the dickens to stay out of Harris County politics, even though I was born there, even though I grew up there, even though Momma still lives there, and even though I work there.  I live in a neighboring county, so I try to stay out of their Democratic Party Primary politics.

But some people – I am looking at you, Keryl Douglas – make that just too damn hard.  It’s like not scratching an itch. A big ole itch.  On your patootie.

Ms. Douglas, Attorney at Law, decided she wanted to  be the chairman of the Harris County Democratic Party.  That’s fine.  Go women!  But, the day a dumbfounding horrifying homophobic email came out on the very same MailChimp account that Douglas’ campaign uses, signed by a “minister” who doesn’t appear to exist, it stopped dead in its tracks of being fine and good.  Douglas’ opponent is gay.

For a full week, Douglas had nothing to say about it.  After seven agonizing days of people pitching walled eyed snot nosed hissy fits, she held a press conference threatening to sue everybody within earshot.  Douglas is good at threatening to sue people.  In fact, there are those who think that might be her political strategy if she wins – just sue all the Republicans instead of beating them.  She wants to become She Who Cannot be Named.  She claimed her MailChimp account was hijacked.

Okay, lookie here, if it takes you seven days to come up with a goofy answer like that, you do not have any business in politics.  She claimed to be the Betsy Ross of gay rights and then set to threatening people with a poopstorm of legal documents if they even mentioned that it’s fairly easy to trace MailChimp accounts.

She then sat down and shut up.  For a while.

She’s baaaaaaakkkkkkk…..

.

Click the little one to read the disgusting big one.  This woman wants to be chairman of the Democratic Party in Harris County – where the largest city, Houston, has an LGBT mayor and several council people.

She also fails to mention that her opponent currently holds the job of county chair, having been elected to that position by the Democratic Executive Committee.

She is doing her darnest to create a chasm between the black and gay community, even though you probably couldn’t do anything more embarrassing to President Obama, including coming to the White House and picking your nose.

The big question everyone is asking is how the fool tarnation is she going to fiance a party when nobody is going to give her money?  She’s going to get stuck with having to pay rent and phone and air conditioning with no money because the decent, truthful, Democratic people will form a PAC and walk away from the party.  No candidate wants to be associated that kind of hate.

So, I’m going to send her a dollar and directions to the shame store.  Apparently, she’s fresh out.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is hollering “Try and stop me!” to the United States Department of Justice.

I don’t think that’s smart.  They probably have elephant guns.  I mean, I dunno know that for sure, but they can probably bring down a medium sized airplane or a tank and that’s Christie weight division.

Christie says that he’s gonna allow sports betting in his state even though a 1992 federal law allows sports betting in only 4 states and New Jersey ain’t one of them.

“We intend to go forward,” the Republican governor said. “If someone wants to stop us, then let them try to stop us. We want to work with the casinos and horse racing industry to get it implemented.”

Dude, just admit the mob has you in their back pocket.  Okay, maybe not their pocket.  Maybe a wheelbarrow they pull around with a nuclear powered motor on it.

Actually, I might want to join in on some sports betting.  I’m willing to put a five dollar cash American bill on table on whether or not Chris Christie can play a sport.  Any sport.  Hell, I’d pay $5 to watch him get out of a La-Z-Boy unassisted.

Really.  Make you?  My, my, that’s big talk for a kid who can’t run very fast.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

John Edwards and the female jurors at his trial.

Since the alternates were identified last Thursday, it has been impossible to ignore the dynamic between Edwards and one of the female alternates, an attractive young woman with jet-black hair, who seems to have been flirting with Edwards for days.

The juror clearly instigated the exchanges. She smiles at him.   He smiles at her.    She giggles.     He blushes.

The flirtation has become so obvious that even Edwards’ attorneys have to work to suppress their laughter at the absurdity of it all.

Okay, so he’s on trial for hiding his Baby Momma from his wife, who was dieing of cancer.  That just does not seem like the proper time to be pickin’ up Juror Babes.

Call me old fashioned.  Go ahead.  I can take it.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads-up.

Right here, as one of the friendly free customer services we offer here at the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., I will completely ruin your entire weekend.

Remember that goofy guy Tucker Carlson?  Well, when he got too weird for teevee, he got himself a website.  It’s “The Daily Caller.”

And he’s giving away guns to get his sheeple to the polls.  He’s giving away a gun every week between now and November 6th.  Is that sending a message about what to do if Republicans lose again or what?

.

It comes in three colors, y’all.  Seriously.  Even got the Bill of Rights on it.  Seriously.  No, seriously.

Each gun is engraved with the Bill of Rights and comes in one of three colors.

See, I told you.  Three colors.  The Bill of Rights.

I think it’s just Tucker’s way of saying, “Have a great Memorial Day weekend.  Shoot someone.”

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.