You might want to scamper over and read my day job.  It’s the solution to the handgun problem.

Please feel free to comment over there.  Nobody will think you’re gay.  Unless, of course, you are and you know it pays to advertise.

Y’all, there is a serious problem in America that is being reported but no cure seems to be coming forward.  Look down over these posts.  Old white men are losing their damn minds and Sarah McLachlan hasn’t even recorded a public service announcement about it.

Are the zombies here and starting with Republican congressmen?  The old white ones?  I think so.

Meet Steve King of Iowa.  Listen up as he speaks fluent Freaky Diatribe.

Bless his disturbed heart, he was trying to defend dog fighting because there’s a real vacuum of leadership in the pro-dog fighting caucus.  You know, what with Michael Vick screwing it up for dog fighting connoisseurs.

Once he realizes how bad it sounds to defend dog fighting, he explains.

In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”

Now, I have to be honest here and tell you that I am not well-read on the law in Iowa.  Actually, Iowa law has never even come up in any conversation I have ever had in my entire life, so I’ll not hold myself out as an expert and will defer to their congressman’s knowledge of law in Iowa.

However, I am pretty sure that rape, kidnapping, forcing young girls across state lines, forcing abortion, and even swingset dropping is illegal.

However, if that stuff were legal, I would have to concur with the congressman and say that dog fighting isn’t too bad.  You know, on the whole cosmic universal karma thing.

Meanwhile, I would keep your daughter away from Republican Congressman Steve King of Iowa because it looks like he’s been making plans for her.

Thanks to Robert for the heads-up.

Kelly Keisling, a Republican State Representative in Tennessee, knows something you don’t.

A Republican member of the Tennessee state legislature emailed constituents Tuesday morning with a rumor circulating in conservative circles that President Barack Obama is planning to stage a fake assassination attempt in an effort to stop the 2012 election from happening.

And he emailed that from his official taxpayer-financed gravitas-laden state legislator  account.

It is suspected that Kelly Keisling did not dream that up on his own.  It seems to have originated from a Florida blogger who says it must be true because President Obama hasn’t denied it.  It should be noted that President Obama also hasn’t denied being an alien from Mars or that he is the love child of Marlon Brando and Margaret Mead.

If someone has time, I need for them to check to see if Kelly Keisling  has denied that rumor I heard that he spends most of his days over at Dirty Sally’s Pole Dancin’ Emporium and that he has an implant from Karl Rove that controls his thoughts.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Foster Friess, rich old white guy, used to support Rick Santorum.  Now he supports Romney and his Super Pacs.

Donations to the tune of $2.3 million to the Super PAC supporting Rick Santorum during Republican primaries vaulted Friess into national headlines, which he says he and his wife didn’t appreciate.

“I enjoy anonymity,” he said on Wednesday during an interview with NBC News.

He also enjoys women.  Asking directions from a group of women in Aspen, he commented …

“Women are God’s most beautiful creatures,” he said as they walked away. “After the white-tailed deer and the swan.”

Bless his heart, he met with Jan Brewer right after that.  So I suspect the list is now white-tailed deer, swan, three toes sloth, Triumph the Insult Dog, and slugs.  Then women.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Good Grief Alert.

Republican Congressidiot Mike Kelly says that the Affordable Care Act is exactly like Pearl Harbor.  Exactly.  Well, if not totally exactly like Pearl Harbor, then exactly like 9/11.

I did not make that up.  My mind doesn’t go places like that.

“I know in your mind, you can think of the times America was attacked,” he said at a press conference on Capitol Hill. “One is Dec. 7, that’s Pearl Harbor Day. The other is Sept. 11, and that’s the day the terrorists attacked. I want you to remember Aug. 1, 2012, the attack on our religious freedom. That is a day that will live in infamy, along with those other dates.”

You know when I found out that health insurance companies can no longer refuse to insure children with pre-existing conditions?  Just like Pearl Harbor.  Just like it.

You know how Republicans act when they want insurance companies not to provide breastfeeding support and supplies, gestational diabetes screening?   Just like November 22nd.

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.

.

Well, isn’t that the whole point of badminton?

Cripes, I played badminton once and I could not lose fast enough.