We have this guy in Texas running as a Republican for the United States named Ted Cruz.

He’s nuts.  Literally.  While he calls himself a Tea Party person and loves all over Sarah Palin, he is bought and paid for by the Koch brothers and big business.  As Wayne Slater at the Dallas Morning News said …

So, the thwack of tea party power might seem like rage against the machine, but its funding has the weathered, wood-paneled feel of a board room.

Two PACs affiliated with Bush adviser Karl Rove have been active rallying conservative voters to the cause of lower taxes and less regulation. In the Texas Senate race, the Koch-affiliated Club for Growth and FreedomWorks raised millions from the titans of industry, investment, manufacturing and finance.

He’s a complete tool.  We might as well call him screwdriver because he is.

And he’s also unbalanced.

“I am perfectly happy to compromise and work with anybody,” Cruz said. “Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians. I’ll work with Martians. If — and the if is critical — they’re willing to cut spending and reduce the debt.”

Remember when George Dubya wanted to go to Mars?  Well, apparently Ted Cruz remembers , too.

Thanks to David and Gene for the heads-up.

If you are a congressvarmint and you get arrested trying to set up a sparkin’ tryst in a bathroom in the Minneapolis airport, you can use your campaign funds to hire a lawyer because you were on “official business.”

Seriously.

Former Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) “has asked a judge to dismiss a lawsuit brought by the Federal Election Commission for using campaign funds to pay for his legal defense, arguing that he was on official travel when he was arrested in a sex-sting operation,” the Idaho Statesman reports.

Dude, I know it is the official business of Republicans in Congress to screw us, but generally not one at a time.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

The Missile Defense Staff of the United States has recently been warned not to spend so much time surfing internet porn.

Director James wrote that in recent months, employees of the agency were discovered to be “engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network.”

“Specifically,” he said, “there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images.”

Uh, has Director James noticed where these folks work?

And he wonders why hoochy-koochy is on their minds all the time?

Thelma says she believes that we need one of those things at the Beauty Salon.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Y’all, listen up.  The conservatives finally found us out.

Conservatives Now got themselves a website and a You Tube that takes down the President of the United States.  They want to disqualify him because they haven’t see his Harvard thesis.  You know, like how we read Ronald Reagan’s and George Dubya’s thesis and all wrote a report on it.  Wait.  Well, never mind that part.

Click here to see the You Tube.

You’ll be pleased to know that the address for the Conservative Majority Fund is a post office box at the UPS store.  2776 S. Arlington Mill Drive | #806 Arlington, VA 22206

So this whole deal appears to be a Fool and His Money separation operation.

If it’s not, though, and they keep the Democrats from nominating Barack Obama, Thelma says she’s not busy until November.  She’s tanned, she’s rested, and she has a new pair of leopard print leggings.

Thanks to Ruby for the heads up.