It has to be this.  I know genius when I see it.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

Truman says, “ARF, Mitt is mean!”

Thanks to Mike and his best friend for the heads up.

It was not enough for Texas Congressvarmint Pete Sessions to be linked to Jack Abramoff, Blimpgate with his aide Adrian Plesha, $44,000 and fancy trips to Fire Island as gifts from Alan Sanford, $30,000 from the Wyly Brothers, and a $1,000,000 below market rate loan Countrywide Financial (yes, the troubled mortgage lender) that he never disclosed on his financial disclosure form.

Nope, if there’s a money scumbag left unopened, Pete Sessions will find it, exploit it, and move on to devour more and more dirty money.

In fact, when he dies, they’ll have to bury him at Fort Knox.

And he’s currently snorting Koch.

He’s so slick he can’t keep his socks up.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Rick Santorum, yeah, yeah, I thought he’d gone away, too, has made a pronouncement that the use of the perfectly good word “y’all” is Barack Obama’s attempt to divide America.

He’s right, y’all.  It’s meant to divide the good folks from the crap folks.

It’s Biblical.

Matthew 25:31-33

³¹ When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory:

³² And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats:

³³ And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Yep, the sheeple are on the right. You knew that all along – you just didn’t know it was a sign of the end times.

He ain't like y'all.

Santorum also claims the use of “y’all” is  “class warfare.”  Good Heavens, people in Pennsylvania are real touchy, aren’t they?  They do know that the rest of America calls them “idiots” instead of “y’all,” right?

Dude, I do not know, nor do I care to know, what people in Pennsylvania call a large crowd of people to get them to come gather for the annual Thanksgiving picture, but I’ll bet you a pair of pink boots that it takes more time and energy than hollering “Come on, y’all.”

Rick, you’re messing with our religion, you’re messing with our bodies, you’re messing with our reproductive rights, you’re messing with our constitution, you’re messing with health care, you’re messing with our education, you’re messing with our family structure and the last damn thing you hadn’t mess with was our language.  So, you fix that.  Next time, you’ll want to decry our cooking.

And that’s liable to get me mad, y’all.

Thanks to Norma for the heads up.

Well, they went to Holy Land, got drunk and buck nakkid and went swimming in the sea where Sweet Jesus walked on water.

What is it the Republicans say?  Kiss my ass, this is a holy site.

Please meet your Republican Congress.

Yoder: Invisible drunk

The FBI probed a late-night swim in the Sea of Galilee that involved drinking, numerous GOP freshmen lawmakers, top leadership staff – and one nude member of Congress, according to more than a dozen sources, including eyewitnesses.

During a fact-finding congressional trip to the Holy Land last summer, Rep. Kevin Yoder (R-Kan.) took off his clothes and jumped into the sea, joining a number of members, their families and GOP staff during a night out in Israel, the sources told POLITICO. Other participants, including the daughter of another congressman, swam fully clothed while some lawmakers partially disrobed. More than 20 people took part in the late-night dip in the sea, according to sources who took part in the trip.

Now, I don’t want you to be too hard on Kevin Yoder.  He was invisible drunk and thought the only way he could be seen was because of his clothes.

And, as a good Christian, he was not skinny dipping in a Holy Sea, he was trying to walk on water.  Imagine his shock when his clothes were lifted from his body by Holy doves and he sank like an anvil in a stock tank.

Not wanting him to feel sad on doing a Titanic imitation, other Republicans helped him.

After what they describe as a “long, hot day,” more than 20 lawmakers and senior aides decided to jump into the sea, sources said. Some went in wearing all their clothes, although others partially undressed.

It was like a big ole Baptism.  ‘Cept nakkid.

And they had to skim nasty off the sea for a week afterwards.

This has the makings of a dandy event leading the GOP convention.

Thanks to Carl Whitmarsh for the heads up.

The Republican Party doesn’t feel that they’ve spent enough time in women’s vaginas, so now comes some startling new information on the exact same scientific level as witch dunking.

Rep. Todd Akin, the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri who is running against Sen. Claire McCaskill, justified his opposition to abortion rights even in case of rape with a claim that victims of “legitimate rape” have unnamed biological defenses that prevent pregnancy.

Republican Rep. Todd Akin. Never been raped.

I checked available records, and while I will freely admit that not all criminal records can be obtained online, but the best I can tell, Rep. Todd Akin has never been raped.  I could be wrong through, because he seems to knows just a tad too much about the secret functions of female anatomy. And he certainly is a little floozy-looking himself.

This bit of information could also be used in trials.  If a woman gets pregnant from the so-called rape, then she hasn’t been legitimately raped, you know, as opposed to illegitimately raped.

Just in case there were eyewitnesses and the rapist confesses and Akin’s biochemistry theory doesn’t work, then he has a Plan B.

Akin said that even in the worst-case scenario — when the supposed natural protections against unwanted pregnancy fail — abortion should still not be a legal option for the rape victim.

Because Todd Akin loves your uterus.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.