Thank you, Memphis!

The Tennessee Court of Appeals has upheld the state’s new law requiring voters to show photo identification at polling places and ruled that election officials must accept an ID issued by the Memphis library.

A three-judge panel of the court ruled unanimously Thursday in a case brought by the city of Memphis and two voters who lacked photo ID and cast provisional ballots during the August primary.

Okay, so if we required (instead of just allowed) a library card for voter identification, there would be no Republican voters.  Why, you ask?

First, no self respecting Republican would enter the confines of a PUBLIC library.  I mean, ruffians who cause tumult can go there.  Anyone can go there.  Yuck.

Second, if they read a book or two, they would not be Republicans.

I say, make a library card be required to vote.  Nice start, Tennessee!

That’s what I say.

Thanks to Marti for the heads up.

For you people from foreign states, Texas has itself a Tea Partier for Attorney General.

And he has declared war against the United Nations.  All of them.

Of course, I will admit that Texas has more handguns than the rest of the world combined but I think the other guys have airplanes and tanks and stuff.

Abbott has decided that UN election observers in Texas are subject to Texas law and spouted …

“They act like they may not be subject to Texas law and our goal all along is to make clear to them that when they’re in Texas, they’re subject to Texas law, and we’re not giving them an exemption.”

Abbott does not recognize federal law or the Constitution of the United Damn States of America.

We got ourselves the law of the cowboy out here.  We will send Dick Cheney to shoot you in the face, dammit.

You know they claim to love the United States of America, but that United part, ummmm … not so much.

Thanks to everybody who sent me this who seems astounded that Greg Abbott is doing something dumb.

Republican men.  They amuse me to the extent that it literally improves my spiritual net worth.

Here, have a bite, too.

Look at this overly unrecognized amusement.

A reason to vote for Scott Brown?  He allows his women to blossom instead of wilting on the rape vine.

A surrogate for Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown is telling voters that the Republican lawmaker supports women because he is a “strong man” with a wife and two daughters, who he “allowed” to “blossom.”

And a woman said that.  She can turn in her ta-tas at the nearest Tupperware Party.

Thanks to Norma for the heads up.

I would not give you a plug nickle for this candidate but I bow to the perfect yard sign – even if it is placed illegally.

I probably wouldn’t vote for him for DA in Harris County – I’d just skip that race – but I’d hire him as my yardsign designer quicker than a jackrabbit with a diesel motor.

Thanks to AH for the heads up.

Donald Trump’s BIG announcement?

He has discovered through secret documents that mockery is alive and well in Twitter.

The announcement was immediately mocked on Twitter.

“Our expectations about @realDonaldTrump’s Obama announcement were clearly not low enough,” New York Magazine said on its Twitter feed.

“BREAKING: Donald Trump demands to know what medical school Dr. Dre went to,” Twitter user @BScalabrine24 wrote.

“Trump will give $5 million if Obama releases his college records,” @WatchJ tweeted. “I’ll give a crackhead $3 if Trump releases that squirrel sittin on his head.”

“BREAKING: Donald Trump replaces bed bugs as Americas #1 Pest,” Lizz Winstead wrote on Twitter.

“We’re going to make a very important cat announcement shortly that will change the internet,” BuzzFeed declared.

“Sorry Trump, but in the same way the U.S. doesn’t negotiate with terrorists, presidents shouldn’t negotiate with idiots,” @the_moonface wrote.

“This Donald Trump character is Andy Kaufman’s greatest bit ever,” Aaron Blitzstein tweeted.

“Donald Trump is the Honey Boo Boo of rich people,” @MorgonFreeman said.

“Trump, would you be a dear and offer 5 million dollars if Romney will reveal ANY PART of his economic plan?” Alex Baze wrote.

My BIG announcement?  I will give $5 cash American money to Americans With Tragic Hair Disabilities see Mitt Romney’s tax returns and, unlike Trump, I actually have $5 cash American money.

Thanks to Craig for the toon.

And the symbolism ….

A blimplike aircraft displaying a Mitt Romney campaign ad crash-landed in a field in Davie, Fla.

The craft, which was flying a sign with an image of the presidential candidate that read, “America Needs Romney,” was on its way from Boca Raton, where Monday night’s debate will be held, to North Perry Airport in Pembroke Pines.

Before ....

But, that’s not all.  No, siree, the symbolism marches on.

Teri Balter, a neighbor who witnessed the emergency landing, told NBC Miami, “We saw the blimp hovering over the house, and it was floating backwards.

Backwards.  That would be NOT Forward.

... After

And, no, I know what you’re thinking.  I did not stick pins in a voodoo airship to make that happen.

But, I would have if I had thought about it.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.