I told you about Judge Elizabeth Coker last October.  She’s the District Court Judge who sent strategy texts to prosecutors during a trial she was overseeing.

Yeah, she was the judge and she was sending secret messages to the prosecutors on how to win.  That’s kinda illegal, even in east Texas.  So, she resigned on December 6th.  On December 8th, the filing deadline in Texas, she marched her sweet little cheatin’ patootie over to Republican headquarters and filed to run for District Attorney.

No, I am not kidding you.  A State Commission on Judicial Conduct started an investigation after the texting incident and found —

The commission noted that she “allegedly exhibited a bias in favor of certain attorneys and a prejudice against others in both her judicial rulings and her court appointments.” Investigators also expressed concerns that Coker “discussed the Commission’s investigation and [her] written responses to the investigation with a material witness prior to that witness’ testimony before the Commission in an apparent attempt to influence that witness, and that the judge may not have been candid and truthful in her testimony before the Commission when questioned about her contact with the witness.”

I mean, here she is acting all Lizzy Borden to Lady Justice, and in her Republican mind, the fact that she doesn’t follow the rule of law and has made witness tampering an art form means she’s perfectly and uniquely qualified to be District Attorney.

And there are people in East Texas who are encouraging her.  Well, not really people.  Republicans.  Republicans are cheering her on because dammit, we need more East Texas justice.

And, Honey, public servant doesn’t fit you real well.  But, I guess that drooling blood-thirsty lying cult leader doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Please meet Republican State Representative Pat Fallon from Frisco, Texas, which is really just North Dallas.

He’s what they call “a real Christian man” around here.

And he went on the radio to prove it.  He’s taking this war on Christmas thing real serious.  Damn serious.  Holy crap on fire serious with — prepare yourself — some issues.  He ain’t messin’ around with these agnostics and the separation of church and state people, which in his mind are the same exact thing.

What is wrong with America, my friend, is that there is not near enough Christmas and Ole St. Pat is putting on the merry and grabbing up his shotgun and making Christmas happen.

Later in the broadcast, Fallon revealed that he and his wife are going to print up t-shirts that say “Merry Christmas” on the front and “Jesus is the reason for the season” and then hand them out to school children who will be encouraged to wear the shirts to school on the last day before winter break.

“And I tell you right now,” Fallon warned, “they’d better not send any of those children home, or there’s going to be some issues.”

Hellfire and brimstone ain’t got nothing on “some issues.”  I just learned from experts in the issues department that “some issues” means more than one, you know, like tar and feathers.  Not just tar and not just feathers but the two combined like pancakes and syrup.  Same deal with “some issues.”  I dunno about you, but I’m real dandy scared of “some issues.”

It’s that time of year when compulsory joy is flowing like sludge down the septic tank from Christians making “there’s going to be some issues” threats.

They will pressure little baby children into uniforms and force them to fight Pat Fallon’s political battles.  You know, like Christians do.  After all, Matthew reported that Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me and I will put them in some damn tee-shirts advertising my brand and beat the holy shineola outta anybody who says that little children shouldn’t be political pawns.”  Oh, and “Amen.”

I flat forgot who sent me this.  I know someone did so please take credit!

And speaking of South Dakota …

A mom was accidentally shot in the leg trying to take a loaded revolver away from her toddler on Thursday, according to Rapid City police.

The 22-year-old mother discovered her 23-month-old son playing with an unsecured revolver around 9 p.m. in a home on East Custer Street, according to police spokeswoman Tarah Heupel.

Two shots were fired from the gun when she attempted to take the weapon. One bullet hit her in the leg. She was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Hey, I can understand one shot, but I think the second shot was just spiteful and deserves an extra 10 minutes in the timeout corner.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Okay, you know that at least weekly I get into a fight with a Catholic priest.  There is a local priest here who runs the opposite direction when he sees me coming.

Up until this moment, the only man in a dress who I trusted was Ru Paul.

I’m beginning … just beginning … to rethink that.  Pope Francis is kinda cool.

He finally responded to Rush Limbaugh calling him a Marxist and here’s what he said.

“The Marxist ideology is wrong. But I have met many Marxists in my life who are good people, so I don’t feel offended.”

Ohmygod, the dude is acting like a Christian.

I ain’t buying the infallible crap and I sure ain’t buying the place of women in the church.  I’m not certain about this whole hell thing.  Well, at least I wasn’t until I met Pope Benedict and his cover-up posse.

Anyway, when the Pope pooped on Ronald Reagan’s trickle down economic, he did it beautifully.

The promise was that when the glass was full, it would overflow, benefitting the poor. But what happens instead, is that when the glass is full, it magically gets bigger nothing ever comes out for the poor. This was the only reference to a specific theory. I was not, I repeat, speaking from a technical point of view but according to the Church’s social doctrine. This does not mean being a Marxist.”

Rush, Honey, Jesus was actually the first Marxist.  Get over it.

Thanks to Bryan for the heads up.

Okay, cowboys, I need another favor.  This one does not involved money.

The Good Folks at the Texas Democratic Party have gotten contributions to Turn Texas Blue from every state in the United Damn States of America except one.

You need to help me get a contribution to the Texas Democratic Party from that state.  This ain’t gonna be easy.

It’s South Dakota.

So, if you know anyone in South Dakota, please ask them to donate at least $5. to the Texas Democratic Party.  Click here.

If you don’t know either of the people who live in South Dakota, you’re in the same boat as I am.

Thank you.

I am at the State Democratic Executive Committee Meeting this morning in Austin. This is Glen Maxey explaining to the Texas Democrats assembled from across the state the program that was purchased by you. They were excited. Lots excited.

Beta testing will start soon. Thank you all again.