Okay so there’s this group running around Texas with enough ammo to declare war on Venezuela who have found a way to live the rock band life without the bother of musical instruments.

They originated in Murietta, California, and they call themselves Operation Secure Our Border.   Mostly, though, they raise suspicions and money.

Note this headline on their website with a big DONATE NOW sign next to it:

Well, that would certainly scare the crap outta me.

‘Cept it never happened.  Bud Kennedy at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram jumped on top of it.

The moneygrubbing “border volunteers” on their way here to play soldier published a dramatic fund-raising pitch Monday about how Texas is a “war zone” and how they barely escaped cartel gunmen who supposedly surrounded the Van Horn Comfort Inn.

That didn’t ring true to folks in Van Horn.

For starters, there is no Van Horn Comfort Inn.

“If Mexican cartels had surrounded a hotel, we would have had a few phone calls,” Sheriff Oscar Carrillo said Tuesday, accusing conspiracy promoter Eric Odom and the Murrieta, Calif.-based Border Convoy group of making up the entire story.

Wait, wait, they made up a story to raise money?  What are they?  The O Henry of Gun Fetishes?

And they are pestering local law enforcement.

Carrillo confirmed that the sheriff’s office had one phone call from the convoy Monday morning about 5:30. A caller giving the name Pete Santilli reported “somebody following them,” Carrillo said, but could not give a description.

Santilli is a Utah-based online talk host and entertainer.

Dude, how do you know someone is following you if you can’t give a description?  You’re being followed by invisible stuff? Hell, even zombies can be described.

The El Paso County Judge pretty much got it right …

Last week, El Paso County Judge Veronica Escobar wrote in The New York Times that the idea of an ongoing border crime crisis is a “myth” contrived for the fall elections.

“It’s untrue and it’s hamful,” she said by phone.

“They use the same playbook over and over again, because it’s red meat for conservatives in the rest of the country. It looks real good to come down to Texas and fly helicopters or wave guns at the border. But it hurts us.”

But the Gun Fetish Tour continues along the border because it gets attention, makes money, and scares poop out of some guy in Des Moines, Iowa, that the Mexicans are coming to get him.  Helluva business.

By the way, according to their website this is how the renegade posse views themselves —

I just checked and it’s going to be 103 degrees in McAllen and Laredo today so … good luck with that heat stroke thing, guys.

Michele Bachmann appears to have a problem with numbers.  Like this.

In a conference call with the anti-immigrant group Numbers USA last week, Rep. Michele Bachmann called illegal immigration a “war against the American people” and suggested that the U.S. levy a 100 percent tax on money that immigrants send back to Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala in order to put pressure on those countries’ governments.

Okay, okay.  First figure out how to find out who is sending how much.  Then, find out if they are citizens.  Next, retrieve the envelope with the money and tax it by  … I dunno, putting one of those title frowny faces on it with a rubber stamp maybe?

100% tax huh?  And this puts pressure on the Central American governments … how?  I’m just totally lost.  Is this algebra or something?

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Sometimes a headline says it all —

Yes indeed, I think his head was empty.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

To the chagrin of Republicans everywhere …

… the Republican-led House Intelligence Committee did something rather remarkable. It voted to declassify its Benghazi report. After two years of investigation, it found no evidence to buttress any of the conspiracy theories surrounding the Sept. 11, 2012, attack that killed Chris Stevens, the U.S. ambassador to Libya, and three other Americans.

No conspiracy?  Wait, air, there’s something wrong.  A House committee led by Republicans – 12 Republicans and 9 Democrats on the committee – voted unanimously to accept the report that says “all of the things that were alleged to have happened didn’t happen.”

So where is the apology?  Wrapped in an enigma in the riddle of Darrell Issa’s heart?

Sorry, GOP.  No impeachment here.

Dee Dee Benkie is the former President of the National Federation of Young Republicans. Now she is the National Committeewoman from Indiana.  She went on vacation and tweeted poolside.

That’s Hot Mamas Republican- Style.

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

Rick Perry has set about raising money to run for President of the United States of America.

He’s calling it RickPAC.  I guess IdiotPAC was already taken.

And now we get to the part where Rick is not well known for making good decisions.

The treasurer of RickPAC, Stefan Passantino, is the head of the political law section of the Washington law firm McKenna Long & Aldridge. He is also a longtime legal adviser to Newt Gingrich.

Newt Who?

Seriously, whoever gave Newt advice should get out of the advice business.  Maybe open a transmission repair company or get one of those carpet cleaning trunks.  Anything but advice.

The assistant treasurer, Corry Bliss, has served in statewide political campaigns in Vermont and Georgia, and his aggressive, bare-knuckled political style has been compared to Karl Rove.

Oh cool, another guy who doesn’t believe in election returns?  This might be fun.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.