County Fairs are a big deal in Texas.  They shut down school on the first day of the Fair and have a big parade.  Then everybody heads to the Fairgrounds where there’s rides for the kiddos, animal judging, a Fair Queen contest, baked good competition, and booths selling wares and ideas.

I want to show you our Fort Bend Republican Party Fair Booth.  It is hard to cram this much hate and stupidity into a 5 by 15 foot booth.

What you see propped up are boards with about 50 bumper stickers, filled with negative bumper sticker mentality.  Not one positive message.  No helpful ideas.  No pro nothing.  Just all the things they hate.  They are asking for a $5. donation for a bumper filled with crap.

Let’s have a look, shall we?

And …

Just getting warmed-up.

Yeah, yeah, they went to the Tea Party convention and bought the entire display case.

So, here’s where I stop and admit that I have a favorite —

Babe, I’ll pay for your ammunition when you use it for contraception and shoot your winkie off.  Deal?

I’ll keep you updated about any drunken brawls over at the Republican Party fair booth.

Poor Kansas.

Seriously, Poor Kansas.  They don’t have any money.

Facing a $238 million dollar deficit, Kansas has made the decision to auction off sex toys it confiscated for back taxes.

Kansas’ budget woes are so dire that the state government has resorted to selling off furry handcuffs and vibrators seized by its revenue department.

The Topeka Capital-Journal first reported on the sale Wednesday, explaining that the new bounty, numbering in the thousands of items, resulted from a five-shop, four-city raid on a company that owed more than $163,000 in state taxes.

What?  There are no seized drugs we can put on Craig’s List?

The “toys” will be sold online by the original owner with the agreement that he will use the profits to pay back taxes.  This assumes, of course, that the owner of the emporium known by the name of “Bang” can be trusted to pay his taxes this time when he didn’t last time.

Let’s see, there was a decision to be made:  Kansas can either accept the Medicaid expansion funds or go into the porn business.  Apparently, that was not as difficult a decision as you’d suspect.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

I did not know until I voted by mail today that we have such a colorful list of United States Senate candidates:

So there, Oklahoma.  I’ll bet you don’t have a candidate named Spicybrown.  However, I am making no bets on Louisiana.

Rick Perry is asking to be excused from his October 13th court date because he’ll be prancing around Europe and he’s waaaaay more important than his indictment indicates.

On Monday, Perry’s lawyers asked the judge to let the governor miss a pretrial hearing set for Oct. 13, the week of which he plans to be in Europe. Perry’s legal team also proposed excusing Perry from all future proceedings in which evidence is not submitted.

The prosecutor says that Perry should put his prissy patootie in the chair at the defense table and hush the heck up.

“From non-violent drug offenses to white collar crime to intoxication manslaughter — our system of justice works because everybody is treated equally,” McCrum writes in the filing. “From carpenters to lawyers to judges accused of anything from tickets to federal felonies, all are expected to appear in court.”

Which, of course, translated loosely from lawyerese is “sit your butt down, son.”

But here’s the line I like best in the story.

Earlier Wednesday, a British think tank announced Perry would be speaking there on Oct. 14 — one day after the scheduled pretrial hearing in Austin.

A think tank?  Perry at a think tank?  Where’s he gonna get some think?  Perry has always had real bad luck when it comes to thinking.

Maybe it’s that wry British sense of humor at play there, huh?

Thanks to Oto for the heads up.

So, Republicans are feeling the heat in Kansas.  As well they should.

Republican Senator Pat Roberts is liable to get beat so badly that his grandchildren will be born shaking.  So, to fire up his base, he’s bringing in Sarah Palin to brawl.  Sarah Punchin’ Palin is coming to the rescue.

But that ain’t all, Folks.

Governor Sam Brownback is bringing in Indicted Felon Rick Perry (Lord forgive me, but I love saying that) to help him.

Honey, when your campaign is in trouble so deep that a stoopid indicted rightwing fool can help you, there ain’t no damn hope for you.

The Superheroes of Trash Politics.

Damn.  The bottom of that barrel don’t need scraping now.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Ken Yazel is a colorful figure in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  That apparently does not take much doing because it’s … well, Oklahoma.

So Ken was elected by 62% of the vote as Tulsa County Tax Assessor.  He was at a meeting on how they were going to fund a new jail and Yazel had himself a dandy idea.  Back in the 1970’s the Los Angeles Police Chief suggested that airplane hijackers “be arrested and immediately hanged at the airport with due process of law.”

Even though that comment earned the police chief the title of Crazy Ed, Yazel remembered it and has been saving it to use until right damn now.

Yazel, 69, said Tuesday that he was not advocating public hangings but also did not back away from the statement.
“The bad guys are committing a crime and then getting out and committing it again,” he said.

“You hang them in the public square. Then they won’t do it again. Neither will some of their friends watching.”

Yazel said his remarks Monday were made after a long discussion regarding scheduling of jury trials, jail overcrowding and its associated costs, and ways to reduce crime.

“They were arguing about how to fund or not fund the jail,” Yazel said. “The point is you’re either going to have to lock them up or do something to stop this high crime rate. I want speedy justice and swiftness so we don’t have to arrest them again.”

Well, it certainly works for Isis.  Gotta work for Oklahoma.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.