Another non-citizen voted in Texas.

A Grand Prairie woman who is not an American citizen was arrested Friday on charges she voted illegally in Dallas County, prosecutors said.

Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, was booked into the Tarrant County Jail and was being held on $10,000 bond.

Damn Democrats, stealing elections by voting all those foreigners.

Wait, you say?

Oh yeah, once again it’s Republicans cheating more than anybody buried on Boot Hill.

Dallas County Elections Administrator Toni Pippins-Poole said records showed that Ortega had voted a total of five times.

The first was in the Republican primary in 2004 and the most recent was the Republican primary runoff in May 2014, Pippins-Poole said.

When Republicans point a finger at me, I will bet you my best pair of pink boots that they are talking about something skanky that they themselves are doing.

For example, I know of three cases of voter fraud in my county.  The first involved a Republican county commissioner stealing votes from elderly black voters with their vote by mail ballots.  He voted them all in the Republican primary.

The second involved a Republican assistant county attorney that my newspaper boss and I chased into a bathroom when she ran from us.

The third was a Republican running for county commissioner who we caught red-handed voting by mail in one state and voting in person in another.

And, nope, none of them were prosecuted because we have a Republican wimpy weasel for a district attorney.

Republicans.  Screw ‘um.

I do not watch Fox and Friends.  I also do not put my hand into a running blender.

People who do watch Fox and Friends are kind enough to underline the weird parts so I can enjoy it.

Steve Doocy makes the first announcement about the job numbers, referring to the BLS news release as the “jobless report.” He hesitates and stumbles before saying that the unemployment rate stands at five percent, and adding, “I believe that could be a little lower than in August, and in September as well.”

Hummmm …. so how can you spin that?  You do the “DeWayne failed math and grandpa has already dozed off so we can pull a fast one” tactic.  Except, hell, you can pull a slow one. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the perfect choice to do that job because Lord knows she ain’t the brightest light on the Christmas tree. She explains …

“That’s right, Steve. Only 271,000 new jobs were added last month. That is up from September as well. Analysts were expecting more than 180,000 jobs for October.”

Okay, so analysts were expecting more than 180,000 jobs but only 271,000 were added?  That Obama is such a failure.  He can even do what experts were expecting.  Thanks, Obama.

And somewhere in a cryogenically sealed dark room, Rupert Murdoch is rubbing his hands together and chuckling. Even Darth Vader trembles in terror.

So, come to find out, Ben Carson was never offered a scholarship at West Point because West Point has never heard of Ben Carson.

Luckily for us, Carson did not claim that West Point is just forgetful.

Unluckily for us, Carson has an excuse.  He’s far too great to be expected to tell the truth.

In an interview with The New York Times on Friday, Mr. Carson said: “I don’t remember all the specific details. Because I had done so extraordinarily well you know I was told that someone like me – they could get a scholarship to West Point. But I made it clear I was going to pursue a career in medicine.”

I wanna know.  Is his name really Tupac Shakur?  Seriously.  We need to look into this.

And the latest:

Carson on Friday afternoon was asked by Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly whether he should have been more clear about the circumstances surrounding West Point in his book, and replied, “I guess it could have been more clarified. I told it as I understood it.”

He could have been “more clarified.”  You mean like butter?

Honey, this man’s understanding  is damaged. Bless his heart.

Thanks to every for the heads up.

Yesterday James Carville said that he thought Marco Rubio was the best bet for the GOP to nominate for President.  And that’s because James Carville is a sneaky little sumbitch.

I’d rather eat a Univac 500 computer machine than be Marco Rubio right now.  Bless his heart, he is teat deep in hog scat right now trying to explain how he went from making $90,000 a year to $414,000 a year after he got elected to the Florida State House.

Then there’s his use of credit cards from the Republican Party of Florida.  And how he could pay $14,000 to his family members for “courier services” from his PAC.

Honey, teevee is not this fella’s friend.  However, to his credit, he remembered to take a drink of water first.

And to top it off, he makes People Magazine this week, and not as the Sexiest Man Alive.

And the chatter on the internet is that he’s got a zipper problem. I know.  I know.  Bill Clinton had a zipper problem, but Bill told you upfront that he’s a rounder.  He never claimed to be Mr. Holiness.  That was the difference between Bill Clinton and John Edwards.  And I kinda have a feeling that Marco and John can team up and open a campaign consulting business called Anything But Authentic.

So, congratulations to the Ragin’ Cajun for tricking Republicans.  Again.

This is gonna be so much fun.

Do you want to know why men walked on the moon?

Because … Jesus.

“This nation has had a profound effect on the world. Before the United States of America came on the scene, for 100 years, 200 years, a 1,000 years, 3,000 years, people did things the same way… within 200 years of the advent of this nation, which believed in God, men were walking on the moon. Completely revolutionized and changed the world because a nation was willing to acknowledge God.”

I wonder what would be Dr. Carson’s explanation of the Russians being the first in space?