Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’

The Texas Counting Curse

November 11, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, it’s a Texas thang.

Apparently, not a damn one of us can make a list.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)’s new tax plan involves eliminating five major federal agencies, but he was only able to recall four during Tuesday’s Fox Business debate.

If he was trying to show up Rick Perry with the whole cutting-the-government schtick, completing three would have been cause for a standing ovation.

All I can tell you, Honey, is do not send these guys to the grocery store or give them a food order without making them write it down.

Oops.

 

Republican Debates

November 10, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If you’re punishing yourself by watching the two GOP debates, please feel free to leave your observations in the comment section.

Try to stay sober.

 

Florida!

November 10, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Pinellas County deputy Michael Szeliga was being awarded a plaque by Mothers Against Drunk Drivers for making 100 DUI arrests.

He got too drunk to accept the award. The award was being presented at a two day DUI training for officers.  Szeliga skipped the training and went carousing around the hotel swimming pool instead.

He was described as “staggeringly drunk” by a witness at the Friday night banquet where he was slated to receive the MADD award.

Another officer reported seeing the deputy wearing “nothing but boxer shorts” in the hallway of the hotel.

He was so drunk that he had to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off.

Szeliga explained that he didn’t need to attend the train because he’s being transferred to the “crimes against children unit.”

Bad idea.  Real bad idea.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

The Other America, 2015

November 10, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

by Primo Encarnación

With another GOP jello-wrestling match about to metastasize to our televisions tonight, I was contemplating on the huge differences between the Kandidate Klown Kar they have, compared to the compact, talented field of candidates the Democrats will be presenting on Saturday. There is a Great Rift in American socio-economic and political life, and it’s larger than it’s ever been.

There are two Americas.

In one America, the Constitution sets up the mechanism of government, and protects the rights of individuals. In the other America, it empowers the individual to ignore the government and the Constitution whenever it suits them.

In one America, the melting pot of our pluralistic democratic republic absorbs and celebrates the many cultures, races and religions who find refuge here. In the other America: be white, be Christian, speak English or get the hell out.

In one America, kids are homeless and starving. In the other America, they deserve it.

In one America, police are there to protect and serve. In the other America, police are there to protect and serve themselves.

In one America, slavery was its Original Sin, affecting every aspect of its history until this very day. In the other America: “Slavery? Not so bad. Get over it!”

In one America, if you can’t make a profit while paying your employees a living wage, you shouldn’t be in business.  In the other America, if you can’t make a profit while paying your employees a living wage, screw ’em.

In one America, education is the solution. In the other America, education is the problem.

In one America, science has discovered an existential threat to humanity in climate change caused by unrestrained capitalistic exploitation of resources. In the other America, climate science is a hoax and an existential threat to humanity’s unrestrained exploitation of resources to obtain capital.

In one America, inequality of treatment, opportunity or outcome is often racist. In the other America, pointing that out is racist.

In one America, two people of the same sex pledging a lifetime of unconditional love should be celebrated. In the other America, they should be stoned to death.

In one America, a free press means that journalists can pursue and report whatever line of inquiry they want. In the other America, the press is free to be the unquestioning stenographer of whatever they are told, and not a jot nor tittle more, nor less.

In one America, people who hear and obey voices telling them outlandish things are mental patients. In the other America, they’re televangelists and/or right wing politicians.

All that leads us back to this: In one America, debates for the Presidency are an opportunity to discuss differing solutions to the multifarious problems facing us at home and abroad. In the other America, debates for the Presidency are an opportunity to reinforce discredited memes and debunked theories at the top of your lungs.

Hey, Does Anybody Remember Rev. Jeremiah Wright?

November 10, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Yeah, remember Obama’s preacher that the rightwing went wacky over?

When they’ve “evolved” and crazy preachers are now “filled with the spirit of religious freedom.”

Screen Shot 2015-11-10 at 10.54.28 AMRev. Kevin Swanson, who is white, says that gays should be rounded up and executed, women who wear pants cause natural disasters, and that the movie “Frozen” turns girls into lesbians. Now I’m not saying that this guy has an s-e-x problem, but … oh hell, of course he has a s-e-x problem.  An enormous one. Colossal. Huuuuge.

He doesn’t seem to mind stealing stuff, or killing people, but damn, you people need to stop thinking about sexy things or we’re all going to hell.

So, those fire and brimstone presidential candidates Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee and Bobby Jindal all march into Rev Swanson’s church and cuddle up to him.

When Ted Cruz asked about associating with this guy, he had a ready answer.

“Listen I don’t know what this gentleman has said and what he hasn’t said. I know that when it comes to religious liberty, this is a passion of mine that has been a passion of mine for decades. And that I have been fighting for religious liberty for everyone…for Christians, for Jews, for Muslims, for every one of us to practice our faith…”

First off, he’s not a gentleman, he’s a jerk. Second off, telling your congregation that certain groups of people should be killed is not any form of religious messaging. Third off, Cruz has not fought for decades or we would have a record of him defending Barack Obama’s religious liberty.

Lying must be okay, too.  Just don’t make the unpardonable sin of buying Girl Scout cookies.

 

Checking My Eyesight

November 09, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Riddle me this.

Lorraine in Spring sent me an email directing me to a Facebook page with something I did not believe until I saw it myself.

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 1.53.36 PM

Debbie Riddle is the State Representative you hear me talking about more often than I like to. She is a mouth-foaming Republican. Here is a link to ten Google pages of stuff I have written about Debbie.

She represents Spring in the Texas Legislature.  Spring, Texas, is 400 miles from any border and is the last place on earth a person without white white triple white skin would ever want to be.

Look where she’s speaking, y’all.  The damn funeral home.  No, really.  The damn funeral home.

Does she know something we don’t?  Is she bring border security samples?  Damn.