Because This Mob is Gonna Come Over There and Fix Your Hair!

December 09, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, I think you people from foreign states know that my momma lives in a city with a great Mayor – Houston’s Annise Parker.  She just ran for her third term and won 57% against 8 opponents.  She’s as popular as a lottery winner and so hot that you can cook chili on her head.

Last month, she extended spousal benefits to same gender couples married in other states and working for the city of Houston.

Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 2.26.43 PMThe Republicans wet their pants.  Harris County GOP chairman, a fastidious man named Jared Woodfill, went bonkers and accused the Houston Mayor of being … well, something very bad.  You know, like evil bad.  Very.

“If that is what Mayor Parker thinks of law and order, how can she effectively serve as the chief executive officer of a large municipality, whose first duty is to ensure law and order?”

He said that if the city loses “the rule of law, we give into to mob rule and crony politics, aptly described once as the ‘Chicago way.’”

“Texas and Houston will not permit would-be anarchy to become the default standard of government in this city,” he said.

You cannot have spousal benefits and law and order.  You just can’t.  Mob rule will ensue and mobs of married gay people will take to the streets and there will anarchy.

I told you it was bad.

I mean, look at this woman.  You can tell by looking at her that she’s itching to start a mob and head over to Jared’s house and tell him that Alec Baldwin called – he wants his hairdo back.

 

annise-parker-houston-lesbian-mayor

Admittedly, it’s the first time I’ve seen an anarchist in a gold silk jacket.  But there you have it.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “Because This Mob is Gonna Come Over There and Fix Your Hair!”


  1. Ralph Wiggam says:

    Since she is essentially following a Supreme Court Ruling, it is the Supreme Court that is the responsible mob. And I can live with that. But saying that the Supreme Court lacks “law and order” is somewhat ludicrous.

    I believe it was Justice William O. Douglas who said: “Law and order is the rallying cry of totalitarians, not free men”. He was speaking of Nixon at the time, but it still applies.

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  2. Isn’t marriage equality the law of the land?

    I forgot, we are talking about republican land and the people that inhabit it.

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  3. Guess you haven’t seen Alec lately. This creep’s hair is more like Gordon Gecko.

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  4. So Jared Woodfill is a “fastidious man”.
    Just not enough to acknowledge the Supreme Court ruling.

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  5. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    The firing up the base tactic is one for which I am patiently waiting for some serious backlash to strike those who are so far from the public opinion. Sort of like the over fired cannon that explodes covering them in the Gohmerts of their own making. That 10 to 20 percent of the voters who are on the wrong side of the issues historically are not necessarily united in opposition to everything. For instance, someone opposed to marriage equality might not be opposed to a raise in the federal minimum wage. Or, those frightened out of their wits by the lies regarding Obamacare, may not necessarily support weakening social security and medicare. In essence that 10 to 20 is not a solid number, as opinions shift on the core issues. Seriously, I think the weekend pundits were way wrong as to the fate of the Republican Party in 2014.

    There is nothing I would like better than to see Texas go blue to demonstrate to the pundits how very wrong they are. Woodfill would be wise to consult Michael Steele. Following the Reince Priebus pattern could prove a disaster. To the ladies here, I would ask, would you really vote for a guy who needs a seminar on “how to talk to women”?

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  6. W. C. Peterson says:

    I think conservatives (and all Republicans are conservative, it seems) adamantly promote the Status Quo because they’ve patiently skewed the Status Quo to their advantage over the years. It used to be in very small increments, but since Ronald Wilson Reagan (crooks are called by their full given names), they’ve become emboldened and are pushing harder to roll back any progress that might threaten their perceived advantages.

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  7. This guy has a very strange notion about what the “rule of law” means. If the law is modified to extend benefits to same-sex couples, it’s still a law.

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  8. Let’s take a page from their playbook and start referring to him by his full name: Jared R. Woodfill V. Now doesn’t that make him sound soooo much more dignified?

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  9. Marge Wood says:

    Did you sense a rather large jump in this guy’s reasoning? Even I thought, wha….? If there ARE mobs in the street they will probably be celebrating.

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  10. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    W. C. Peterson makes three particularly excellent points about conservatives. The Status Quo to which they cling is are the corporate tax cuts and Trickle Down economics. Both abject failures, but they will continue to cling with their dead cold white hands. Then there is the “perceived advantage” which they hate when it is pointed out to be white privilege. I think I can speak to white privilege, as I know the doors it opened for me, education and economic opportunity. But, unlike the conservatives, I see the advantage to those doors being opened for everyone, especially women and minorities. My view is a simple view; that an individually strong population makes for a stronger nation.

    Third, Ronald Wilson Reagan, since his presidency the course has been steady to the right. Neither Presidents Clinton or Obama have had much success in steering left to at least restore some of the old center position.

    We can hope that the ultimate absurdity of the Koch brother sponsored Tea Party has the opposite effect desired by David and Charles. A blow-back is needed. Return to a progressive tax schedule, raise the minimum wage to a point where the largest employers are not having their miserly wages subsidized by taxpayers, and promote an environment in which aid to education takes precedence over military spending.

    Call me crazy, but I think Jared R. Woodfill V and other reactionaries are losing the numbers game in both votes and policy.

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  11. e platypus onion says:

    Got hate? It’s the christian thing to do.

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  12. daChipster says:

    I ran this piece past my uncle in the old neighborhood, Jimmy “Barstool” Grobnik (nephew of the famous “Slats” Grobnik), who married my Aunt Lucha, (nee Maria de la Luz Hachecristo). His thoughts are as follows:

    Coupla t’ings. First, when we’re tockin’ ’bout “mob rule” in da great City a Chicago, ya gotta unnerstan dat we meant “Mob rule.” Capital M. As in, capital punishment: da Mob. Dat bein’ da case, you really don’t want dem fixin’ your hair. Da last t’ing yer gonna want is gettin’ clipped by da Mob.

    One udder t’ing: once da Mob rule was done in Chicago and cronyism was da rule a da day, unner da great Mare Daley, Sr.(rest in peace) dat city could get t’ings done! Ya needed a job, yer kid got in trouble, yer garbage can got dinged and ya needed a new one – yer alderman could fix it. You helped him out wit’ yer vote, he helped you out da udder 364 days a da year.

    Now, wid all dis great “reform” and “transparency” da liddle guy is priced outta da fix. Dey don’t got nuttin’ da pols want. On’y da 1 percent got da juice, an’ da rest a us got the squeeze, including small bidness.

    Bottom line: dere’s always been clout and dere always will be clout. It’s just dat it used ta be more democratic.

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  13. daChipster says:

    BTW they call Uncle Jimmy “Barstool” ’cause he’s kinda short and round, with skinny legs, and if you want him, you can always find him in the corner tavern.

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  14. @daChipster, you’re too much. Love it! Love you!

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  15. da Chipster: Is your Aunt Lucha (Maria de la Luz Hachechristo) the mother of your cousin, Jesus Hachechristo, of whom you have spoken on occasion? Wasn’t aware he was from Chicago, but nice to know his lineage.

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  16. daChipster says:

    maryelle:

    Actually, no, because then his name would be “Jesus Grobnik.” And although many a time in Pete’s, the corner tavern, you would hear people exclaim “Jesus, Grobnik!” when Uncle Jimmy Barstool fell off one, that was not, contrary to popular belief, the naming of my cousin.

    Tia Lucha is one of a large family, including her brother, my uncle Cristobal Hachechristo, who my grandfather, Helton Juan Hachecristo declared shall be called “Levon” for reasons that pass understanding. Of course, Tio Levon, he called his child Jesus…

    because he likes the name.

    The sisters in that family and their nicknames include:

    Maria de la Cruz (Maria)
    Maria de la Luz (Lucha)
    Maria de la Soledad (Alma)
    Maria de Los Angeles (Angie)
    Maria de la Maria (Hartman)
    and Maria Imelda (Mom)

    The family moved from San Antonio to Chicago shortly after WWII because Helton Juan heard that, although the streets weren’t paved with gold, they were paved. Constantly. And while no one works less than an alderman, a Chicago street crew comes a close second. And so for nearly 70 years, there has always been an Hachecristo somewhere on a Chicago street, sitting in a lawn chair, “working” as a flagman.

    Even Barstool got into the family business, donning an orange vest and serving as a traffic barrel. With very skinny legs.

    Hope this cleared things up a bit!

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  17. Marge Wood says:

    daChipster, I wanna know when yer publication is gonna be available to buy to give fer er, holiday gifts.

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  18. I just want to say, I am damn tired of these people trying to talk for me and putting words in my mouth. When Perry, Abbott, Dewhurst, the NRA, or this guy Woodfill say something like “Texans will not stand for…” or “Texans are are sick and tired of…” it absolutely makes my blood boil. I want to climb to the top of the Capitol, stand beside the Goddess of Liberty and shout “I am the only one that can speak for me and I will not let these hate-filled, bigoted out of touch barbarians put words in my mouth!”

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  19. TroubleCominEveryday says:

    The comment section needs a “like” or “agree/disagree” button 8-).

    @daChipster, that was a good insight into Chicagolandia.

    @Web, I so agree and it’s on the federal level too such as Boehner saying what the American people want.

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  20. Wa Skeptic says:

    Unless one has a fistful of green American dollars, Boehner can’t hear you.

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