Just when you thought, or even hoped, that things couldn’t get nuttier in Texas, along comes Larry Kilgore, challenging all preconceived notions of social science.

Larry Scott Kilgore, a perennial Republican candidate from Arlington, a Dallas suburb, announced that he was running for governor in 2014 and would legally change his name to Larry Secede Kilgore, with Secede in capital letters. As his Web page, secedekilgore.com, puts it: “Secession! All other issues can be dealt with later.”

Until I see scientific proof that you cannot catch the crazy flu from a  website, I will not ask you to visit Larry’s erudite website.  It’s just one page, and here it it.  Seriously.  I am not joking.

You can click the little one to get the big one.  I support safe websurfing.

I’m wondering exactly what “issues” Larry is pondering.  To tell you the truth, I don’t think Larry has to tell us that he has “issues.”  I think that’s pretty damn self-evident.

This ain’t Larry’s first shot at trying to be somebody.

And this Kilgore guy gets to be spokesman because he is the only one of the secessionists who owns a suit.  All he needs is a Mitt Romney tattoo on his face and a date with Lindsay Lohan to qualify for institutional care.

They can have all the stoopid they want, but dammit, they can’t have Texas.  I’m bunkerin’ up here at the beauty salon with a curling iron and three industrial size bottles of Aqua Net.  I ain’t going down easy.

Thanks to Glynda for the heads up.