Tub’s First Official Act
Alabama has elected a moron to replace Doug Jones in the Senate, and let’s be frank; Jones only won Jeff Sessions’ seat because his GOP opponent was a documented pedophile. Said moron is former Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville, known on the football field as “Tubs”. Tubs may have been a good football coach, but apparently that’s all he knows. Tubs thinks that the three branches of the US government are the Executive, House, and Senate. That’s right, the new Senator from Alabama doesn’t understand how the government is even organized. He also thinks that God creates climate change, that heroin is not an opioid, and that the healthcare system should be “capitalist” (rather than a protected monopoly). In short, Tubs is a typical knee jerk, rock rib, GOP ignoramus.
It actually gets worse, if that’s even possible. Tub’s considering as his first act to aid Trump in his planned coup attempt to steal the election from Biden and Harris. Objections to any state’s electoral slate have to be sponsored by at least one Congressman and one Senator. McConnell has already warned his caucus to not go there, but Tubs is apparently ignoring that. The effort will fail, of course, but if Tubs actually does something so stupid, it will be the shortest political honeymoon in Senate history. There will be some entertainment in that, though.
I’d suggest “Tuber” as a nickname. We could send him Mr Potato Head toys…
1While at Auburn, he lost to Vanderbilt. Need I say more?
2As they say: Everything Cheatolini touches, dies…
3Face it, the worst punishment McConnell would dole out is to give the guy stock tips from classified hearings four hours after the other Senators. So Tubsy would only double his money from stock trades instead of tripling it.
4Tubs might want to look around the Senate and ask why nobody is willing to defy MoscowMitch, before he tries it. Mitch has a tight hold over his Republican fellows, as well as no empathy and no sense of humor. Starting off on the wrong foot with the Senate Majority Leader will not improve ol’ Tubs’ political prospects. But hey, Senator Tuberville–go for it!
5He seems to fit the typical coach in the school business. He goes 4-6, loses to the crosstown rival, and suddenly is elevated to head principal the next school year.
6I have been gorging on Civil War politics. Believe it or not, senators from Alabama used to be even worse.
7I guess he’s going to be the Senate version of Louie Gohmert.
8Grandma Ada @8: that is a nasty, mean, vicious thing to say. It’s also accurate.
Bet that if Tubsy heard you say it, he would consider it a big compliment.
9Oh Dear! The House has Louie but now the Senate will have Russian Ron Johnson, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha Blackburn and Tubs. Their combined IQ is still double digits. The senior chamber has the junior pinchwits.
10