Archive for June, 2022

Pete Davidson Apologized For Less Than This

June 19, 2022 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

A lot of you probably remember when Saturday Night Live comic and strange person Pete Davidson made fun of Texas Republican congressslick Dan Crenshaw by saying Crenshaw looks like “a hitman in a porno.” And then the following weekend, he had Crenshaw on to apologize to him in person. You can find it on YouTube if you’re interested.

Okay, so let’s skip ahead to the Texas GOP Convention this weekend.

Oh, Honey, you never saw such carrying on in your life.  First they kicked the Log Cabin Republicans out and told them they could not have a booth at the convention.  The Log Cabin Republicans said they were being divisive and exclusionary. Okay, they actually have not teaching CRT in schools, which is also divisive and exclusionary, but the Log Cabin Republicans don’t appear to be able to look beyond their own noses.

They booed John Cornyn. In all honesty, I boo him, too.

And then there was a group of people who followed Dan Crenshaw around calling him “Eyepatch McCain.” They also called him a Globalist and think he should be hung for treason.

Oh good Lord, rightwing Republicans really do need to put away those ropes.  We remember what they did with them the last time they had them.

But my soul is at peace.  Slick Dan put himself as star in a video getting other Republicans to run.

 

 

For the rest of his damn life he has to live with the fact that his tryout tape for Captain America was ridiculous and I’m snickering.

I’m kinda looking forward to seeing what platform they come up with.

 

It Matters

June 19, 2022 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

Before my daughter was born, I taught at a school fairly close to my house. In fact, it was my alma mater’s rival school. The principal there used a cool slogan he wanted everyone to memorize. It was easy enough. “It matters” was that slogan. It matters was a way to tell us that everything we do matters. There is nothing too insignificant to get attention. Every detail must be important.

The problem there is that he was absolutely wrong. It really is no surprise. I did not last on that campus and neither did he as it turns out. However, it took years for me to discover that. If everything matters then nothing really matters. Such a statement is kind of a paradox, but if you game it all out then it starts to make perfect sense. You can’t focus on everything because if you focus on everything then nothing gets done.

I had a golf swing instructor basically tell me the same thing as a kid. I couldn’t possibly think about everything while swinging. I had to focus on one or two things and do the best I could. It’s the same for basketball players shooting free throws, hitters at the plate, and kickers about to make the winning kick in a football game. If you bog yourself down with too many thoughts you’ll fail every time.

The worst thing we tell children is that something matters when it really doesn’t. In the case of our campus it is dress code. It really doesn’t matter. We have kids showing skin in all kinds of places we never would have dreamed of doing. We have boys with full beards and students with visible tattoos. These things are all against the dress code, but we have collectively decided that it just doesn’t matter. We never said as much, but our actions (or lack of action) indicate that it doesn’t matter. The worst thing we could do is tell kids that it does and let them learn quickly that it doesn’t. Just let it go.

We bring all this up to show how much of an uphill climb progressives have. We care about a lot of things. We care about gun control. We care about the environment. We care about fair elections. We care about education. We care about the wealth gap and making sure everyone has a fair shot. We care about black lives. We care about LGTBQ+ rights. We care about women’s rights. We care about health care and our access to it. We care about all of these things and more.

What we run into are people that have either figured out that it all can’t matter or they just don’t care about all of those things. They care about one or two things. They want to keep their guns. They want to make abortion illegal. They want to make sure girls are the only ones playing girls sports. Each of those things have a dedicated group of their own that are always there to scream their point of view. The rest of us scream for a week or two and then shift to one of those other issues. We switch when something happens that outrages us and pulls our attention from the other things. So, our opponents just have to wait us out.

We must be more organized. We must manage our forces a little more wisely. In short, we have to forget the idea that it all matters. Yes, it all matters. However, we can’t have everyone focused on an issue for a week or two. We have to have fewer people dedicated to an issue all the time. We need others dedicated to those other issues. If we apply constant pressure across the board then we have a chance to get movement on these things. That’s what the other side is doing. They either figured that out a long time ago or they literally only care about their guns, abortion, or the other stuff.

Hero?

June 17, 2022 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The media is tripping all over themselves calling Pence a hero because he did his job under great pressure from his boss and the people around him.

You know what?  That’s caca del toro.

Okay, how is that any difference than a teenager working at McDonalds working in the hot kitchen with his boss screaming at him about making burgers faster, even if it means not putting a pickle on it and the kid decided that if people pay for a pickle, they ought to get a damn pickle.

Is that kid a hero?  Nope, he’s just doing his job.

I know doing your job is unexpected in Trumpculture.  But that’s all Pence did.  He’s not a hero. He’s just a guy who went to work and did his job.  And the deal about not getting into the car to leave the capitol? That’s not hero. I also wouldn’t get into a car with an armed man I didn’t know.

The cops who charged the crowd or lead them astray are far closer to heroes than Mike Damn Pence.

For four damn years, Pence stood beside Trump nodding his goofy head up and down. He knew Trump was totally insane but Pence just stood there, nodding.

Hero?  My patooie.

 

The Layers of Filth

June 16, 2022 By: Nick Carraway Category: Uncategorized

It would be easy to do a drive by on something like this. It is just way too easy on so many levels. However, doing so presents a problem that is hard to ignore. However, first, we should probably do the payoff on the pun that you’ve been waiting for.

Again, this is way too easy and considering the wild rumors about Boebert that we have seen lately it makes the tweet that much more cringeworthy. The self-own is the cruelest own of all. However, this brings two very important points to the forefront. First, these rumors are unsubstantiated. Secondly, let’s pretend that even half of them are true. Let’s say she did get an abortion in her past. Is that really so bad given where we want the country to be on choice?

The go to response would be that she is the ultimate hypocrite and that is certainly true, but maybe she had a genuine change of heart. Maybe she had a genuine conversion experience. Maybe a lot of things. What is much more likely is that none of it is true. Heck, the Ted Cruz rumors are bizarre and disgusting quite frankly. Either way, while she certainly has invited this kind of behavior with her own, it also is fair to say she doesn’t deserve all of that.

However, when you own yourself like you do with the tweet above I suppose you get what you deserve. In this case, I suppose someone like Kasparian would better land a jab than anyone from the male population. So, I will let that fastball sail high and outside and wait for the next pitch. It’s just not a really good look for anyone involved. Cheap laughs are fun, but it’s hard to get around the fact that they are cheap.

Uh Oh, Somebody Has a Video

June 15, 2022 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh y’all, Rudy Giuliani deleted his tweet claiming he refused all alcohol on Election Night 2020 and only drank Diet Pepsi.

Look if you are my friend, I pray that your life never comes down to testifying in a court of law that you depended on a drunk old guy who put shoe polish on his sideburns as being the source for your information. And if you ever do, I hope it’s Elvis and not Rudy Giuliani.

 

Awkward

June 14, 2022 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, so now it’s revealed that Kimberly Guilfoyle, girlfriend of Trump’s son Donald Trump Jr, was paid $60,000 to speak at the January 6th rally, a speech that lasted less than three minutes.

Thelma, who doesn’t make that much money working on her feet for a year, was perturbed. She announced that she could also tease up her hair, get herself some store-bought ta-tas, shoot a pound of Botox in her lips and rent herself out for three minute speeches. She’d draw the line at having to date Donald Trump, Jr., but other than that …

Anyway, this revelation about Guilfoyle comes at a particularly awkward time for Republicans.  They discovered that several Democrats were paying money to family members from their campaign fund so the day before the hearing, they put forward a big ole bill saying you can’t pay your family.

Relatives who fall under the proposed ban would include spouses, parents, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, and domestic partners as well as the spouses of campaign committee members.

And then the day after that, her comes Kimberly and her $60,000.

Thank goodness for the girlfriend/fiancé exception.

It’s a great time to be alive.