Archive for November, 2020

Anatomy of a Cheater

November 16, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Another tale from Nick Carraway —

 

I used to know this girl named Jordan Baker. She’s a professional golfer that has gotten in some hot water for cheating. Most golfers I know do it the same way she does. They use the occasional foot wedge or shave the occasional stroke. You look up at the end of the round and their score is three or four strokes lower than it should be.

The 45th president does it differently. I’ve seen only one other player do it like this in my life. It happened in high school when I played in the district championship. Instead of sneaking strokes past me he turned every hole into a negotiation. A ten turned into a five until we would bargain it back to an eight or nine. The result was the same if not even more effective in magnitude.

When looking back on that experience I am always struck by three things. First, the cheating was so over the top it wasn’t fooling anyone. Secondly, while he did shave off strokes he spent so much time and effort focusing on the con that he couldn’t do the simplest things to lower his own score. Finally, while I handily beat him, it was an absolute miserable experience.

I’ve been told that 45 does the same thing on the golf course. On one occasion, he clearly hit the ball in the water, but loudly proclaimed that the ball on the green was his. Everyone saw one of the other players hit the ball on the green, but that didn’t matter. He wouldn’t relent until they agreed it was his. Ergo, he doesn’t get you with guile. It’s a battle of attrition. You just get so tired of malarkey that you end up giving in.

Of course, no one ever lived or died based on a round of golf. At least, no one I know ever did. Politics is a different ball of wax altogether. What politics and golf have in common is that they both are miserable when you are dealing with a cheater. It’s a lot more fun and entertaining when everyone has the same goal. It’s why I eventually broke up with Jordan.

 

No, No, No. In Spite Of, Not Because Of.

November 16, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ivanka is all a’twitter this morning.

 

 

Wait, wait, wait, back in January 0f 2020, your Dad still couldn’t pronounce Corona Virus.

The first report of a coronavirus-related death in the United States came on Feb. 29 in the Seattle area, although officials there later discovered that two people who had died Feb. 26 also had the virus.

Your Dad, my dear, kept saying it would just magically go away.  You know how much credit he gets for this?

Honey, nobody would have changed their vote because if a vaccine had come out while he was president, the main distribution center would have Mar A Lago. And you would have had to join the club to get it.  Billionaires and their families would have been next and then celebrity endorsements could line up with their families.  Next would have been Republican senators who supported giving him a third term.

That’s how this would go.

 

Louie, Shuddup, Man

November 15, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

He’s stirring up more cornbread than can fit in the turkey.  Louie Gohmert went on a Zoom call last week and announced that “U.S. Army forces” had seized servers from a Frankfurt office of the software company Scytl.

In his recorded remarks, Gohmert said he had heard from “former intel people” that Scytl maintained data that could be “gleaned” to prove Republican votes had been changed to Democrat in the Nov. 3 election.

I dunno, but I kinda think that Joe Bob over at the bowling alley over in Tyler, Texas, can hardly be classified as a former intel person because he went to the Boy Scout Jamboree in Washington, Dee Dee once in the 1950’s.

Now, of course, none of this happened.  None of it. Not even little.

In the statement Scytl said: “We do not have servers or offices in Frankfurt” and “The US army has not seized anything from Scytl in Barcelona, Frankfurt or anywhere else.” It also says Scytl does not “tabulate, tally or count votes in the US.”

So, Louie, you were like triple wrong. There ought to be a prize for that.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

 

Well, This Is Not Good

November 14, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Trump has a thirty year old former quarterback with a gambling addiction running the personal office of the White House.

The Washington Post has the story of Johnny McEntee, who sits outside of Trump’s office and fires people seen as not sufficiently loyal to the president.  And, probably even worse, hiring people for civil service jobs in key departments to keep Trump loyalists there to spy.

Since the race was called for President-elect Joe Biden, McEntee has been distributing pink slips, warning federal workers not to cooperate with the Biden transition and threatening to oust people who show disloyalty by job hunting while Trump is still refusing to acknowledge defeat, according to six administration officials.

And beyond that …

Michael Ellis was hired as general counsel of the NSA, making him a civilian member of the senior executive service, meaning it will make it very hard for the Biden administration to get rid of him.

Some officials said they worry the new hires could destroy briefing documents prepared for the incoming Biden administration. Others criticized McEntee’s choices for key government roles.

The kid is 30 years old and asks questions like …

One Environmental Protection Agency employee was asked his opinion on pulling troops out of Afghanistan. “I work at the EPA,” the official said, startled.

Another official said she was asked her opinion about the president’s proclamation on transgender troops.

So, the only requirement to work at the White House is being loyal to Trump. You can be dumber than bean dip but if you’re loyal to Trump, you can head the NSA.

And now we all know that Trump is not a real blonde ….

 

 

He’s still got a combover though.

Counting the days ….

 

 

Did You Feel A Great Disturbance In The Forces of Evil?

November 13, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Somebody said, “No” to Donald Trump.

The U.S. Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) this week declared the 2020 election the “most secure in American history.” President Donald Trump ordered Chad Wolf, the Dept. of Homeland Security acting Secretary, to fire the agency’s chief, Chris Krebs. Wolf reportedly has refused.

He refused.

Krebs says he expected to be fired, but Wolf says he’s not doing it so I guess that Trump will have to have Bill Barr do it.  Hell, Barr will do whatever Trump tells him to do including lighting his butt on fire.  Have mercy, you’d be able to smell the roasting pork all the way to Bolivia.

Thank you, Chad Wolf. I am certain that Trump will make fun of you on Twitter.  I guess you’re grown up enough to take it, huh?

 

Like, They Had Vans and Stuff

November 13, 2020 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Nick Carraway making fun of Republicans — 

 

So, this woman in the tweet said that she worked for 24 straight hours on election day. That’s from 6 AM to 6 AM. She made it very plain that this was 24 hours for those of us with only ten fingers and ten toes. The Twitter machine is having a field day with that. It appears as if she is having difficulty reading the script. Either that, or they plucked her right after her 24 shift.

There are also some bold fashion choices going on there. There were some mentions of the B-52s on Twitter. That brought me back to my high school days, but let’s move on. Apparently, they didn’t feed all of the election workers in Michigan. Some vans came. She couldn’t see what was in them or what they brought out of them. They brought stuff out of the rear of the van and she knows it wasn’t food. That’s it. They’ve caught us red handed folks. Can someone please give this poor woman a donut before she passes out?