Holy crap.

No, no, seriously, Trump is now demanding that Barr investigate.

“We have got to get the attorney general to act. He’s got to act and he’s got to act fast,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends,” citing a New York Post report about Hunter Biden’s business dealings. Trump called on Barr to “appoint somebody” to handle the matter.

“This is major corruption and this has to be known about before the election,” Trump said.

A week and half is plenty of time to investigate complicated international espionage, computers left at repair shops, Rudy G’s sweet dreams, child pornography, basements of pizza parlors, and God only knows what else Trump is going to come up with.

The only people I know who believe the computer lap story are old people who still use AOL.  The Russians gave that computer to Rudy and he had to hunt down a computer repairman in Delaware to come up with a story.

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A shout-out to this poor man who somehow plucked up the courage to get out of the house and get himself a Subway sandwich.

This is Trump’s America, y’all.

Brought to you by Nick Caraway

Just looking at some numbers as I used to be in the bond business when I lived in that shack next to Jay. The GOP loves to call the Democratic economic plan “tax and spend”. Well, the Republican plan seems to be spend and spend. Compare Trump and his first (and hopefully only) four years with Obama and his first four years. Boy it sure looks interesting

2009-2012 in billions: 5094

2017-2020 in billions: 6128

Sure, a lot of that is the pandemic, but Obama was trying to recover from the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression, so we will call it even. The GOP loves to cast themselves as the party of fiscal responsibility. That only seems to happen when it’s time to spend money on social programs.

When we “need” to spend money on tanks, planes, bombs, and corporate bailouts there seems to be plenty to go around. When we “need” to give tax cuts to the top one percent there seems to be plenty to go around. Meanwhile, I’m still looking for the 2000 dollars Pence said we got in the VP debate. I’ve misplaced it I guess. I can’t find it. 

Republican pundit Charlie Sykes lets the nail meet the hammer.

Pretty much saying that Trump is limpin’ around like a three legged jackrabbit, he notices that Trump is still chanting “Lock them up!” at his rallies. He ain’t running against Hillary.

Why would Trump still be hollering that?

“He’s playing his greatest hits,” Sykes explained. “He’s playing all the hits from 2016. The problem is that this time around he’s fat Elvis. It feels derivitive because 2016 is a different time. Nobody cares about Hillary’s emails anymore.”

He’s Fat Elvis.

I don’t know how he’s going to recover from that.  I hope they tell him about 15 minutes before the debate.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

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Okay, I know you’re laying awake at night because of anxiety or you’re listening for footsteps in your front yard because you’re gonna catch that sign-stealing sumbitch one night and the whole neighborhood is gonna know you’ve won every lasso contest in the State of Texas because you’ve got some bright lights and loud music just rarin’ to go once you’ve got him calf-roped.

I have something for you to play with.  Click right here.

It’s done by a professor at the University of Florida and Could play with it all day.

Have fun!

There’s actual videos of Trump attending church and putting his tithe in the bucket.

The International Church of Las Vegas was among the houses of worship receiving federal PPP loans earlier this year — in the amount of $350K-$1m — per ProPublica’s database.  And Trump was there on Sunday morning.

Here’s this video.  It’s long so I’ll save you some time by letting you know that Trump went to church in Vegas on Sunday. Watch the very beginning where he digs the money out of his pocket.  Then skip ahead to 30 seconds, where they zoom in with the camera.  He has two $20 bills.

WATCH: President Trump gives money during services at the International Church of Las Vegas. pic.twitter.com/ZJIKpHm2Sr

— The Hill (@thehill) October 18, 2020

Now since this is the first time he’s been to church in at least a month, that’s his tithe like a good Christian.

Thelma says you should watch the whole thing because Trump keeps staring at the money in his hands like it’s killing him to give it up.