Kayleigh McEnany promised that she would not lie.

“This president is the most informed person on Planet Earth in terms of the threats that we face.”

— White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany, at a press briefing today.

Is anybody keeping score?

Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick is a damn hoot.  I mean, here’s some guy who couldn’t run a Jiffy Lube trying like the dickens to run Texas.  In Texas, the lt. governor has more power than the governor. Also in Texas, both of them have the same combined IQ as the speed limit.

You probably remember Dan as the guy who said we older folks should be glad to die of the virus to save the Texas economy.  He said he would, and then, of damn course, he didn’t do it.

Yesterday, in a fit of intelligence envy, we got to watch Dan Patrick say he was no longer going to take the advice of Dr. Anthony Fauci.  Whaaaaat? Huh? Translate that in English, please.  Dan Patrick has never taken the advice of Dr. Fauci. Never.

Dr. Fauci says not to open up Texas while we are on an upswing. Dan says, “Open Texas! Especially the bars!”

So we open up the bars and restaurants and – oh shock! – the needle goes off the charts. And we kill a bunch of people, but not Dan.

Dan says …

“Locking down doesn’t work! If it did, those two states [California and New York] would be doing better than Texas. Fauci said today that he’s concerned about states like Texas that skipped over certain things. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about! We haven’t skipped over anything. The only thing I’m skipping over is listening to him. … He has been wrong every time on every issue. I don’t need his advice anymore.”

Yeah, well, I don’t think Fauci wants Dan’s advice either.

Dan skipped over the part that said don’t kill people.

Y’all, I have a blister on my forehead from banging my head on the table.