Alabama Republican Congressburp Mo Brooks explains why he voted Oh Hell No on the anti-hate bill.

Prepare yourself.

Brooks said he voted against the measure because while it explicitly condemned discrimination against Jews, Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs, it omitted Christians. It also omitted “Caucasians” while condemning discrimination against African-Americans, Latinos, Native Americans, Asian Americans, Pacific Islanders and “lesbians, homosexuals, transsexuals and the like,” according to Brooks.

Okay, listen up.  You people have to quit discriminating against Caucasian Christians.  These poor people have had just about enough of your discrimination.

By gawd, they now have to pay extra six-figure fees just to get their kids in a prestigious university and they don’t feel the least bit bad about cheating like that because those seats are rightly their’s to begin with.

Here’s a lovely picture of Mo Brooks with his family. Standing in a cotton field. It’s kinda hard to see them among all the damn white.

You can bet your last pair of pink boots that they didn’t pick any of that cotton. Ever.

Thanks to Sarah for the heads up.

Thanks to Marcie for the heads up.

The first Trump autographed Bible went for $325. on Ebay.  I’m sorry if you missed it but I’m sure there will be a thousand more.

Once Trump discovers that he can get the Bibles for free at his hotel, he’ll outsource them to China for people to rubber stamp his signature in them and then sell them on his website.

If you go to eBay and then run a search for Trump and Bible, you get some weird stuff.  Just thought you’d want to know.

Thanks to Jaime for the heads up.

You know how when Trump learns something new, he says, “Very few people know…” and then says something that any fourth grader knows.  Something like, “Very few people know that Jupiter is big.  They think it’s small because they can’t see it.”  When that happens you immediately know that the day before he thought Jupiter was small and totally invisible.

New one. If he can’t do it, it’s too complicated.

You really don’t want to know what else he said.

Yes, the Bozo in Chief wants to go back to balsa wood planes and the Wright Brothers’ souped-up model.

Very few people know that the Spirit of St Louie didn’t have a passenger section.  So, we needed to take a step further, but dammit, that’s far enough.

People go to school.  They learn things. You cannot prissy up to the Boeing showroom and ask to test drive one of those things.  Hell, you have to go to school and have a license to give a perm in Texas.  It’s that complicated.

Donald, do you want to know the best example of “an unnecessary step further?” Your hair, Skippy.

Y’all, Eric Trump was either asleep or drunk from 1993 – 2001 and then again in 2008 – 2016.  Allow me to offer proof.  He went on teevee and said this about us —

“I’ve never seen hatred like this, and to me they’re not even people. It’s so, so sad, I mean morality is just gone, morals have flown out the window we deserve so much better than this as a country. You know it’s so sad. You see the democratic party — they’re imploding. They’re imploding. They have no message.”

We are not even people, y’all. Look, I don’t like making fun of slow learners, but holy damn cow, has this boy ever met his dad?

He’s never see this much hatred? He needs to open his eyes because there’s more hatred at the Trump Family Christmas Eve party.

We get morality lessons from the Trumps?  Hell, that alone is immoral.

Okay, okay, this is just too good.  Donald Trump can never admit he’s made a mistake, no matter how small.  He was holding a panel discussion and accidentally referred to Apple’s Tim Cook as Tim Apple.

Simple mistake.  The kind of mistake that most of us make every day. Not Trump.

Trump’s first excuse was that he said Tim  Cook of Apple, but he said the ‘Cook of’ very quietly and the microphone didn’t pick it up.

This morning, after people kept making fun of it, including Time Cook who changed his Twitter handle from @tim_cook to this, Trump decided he needed a better explanation.

So he unholstered his Twitter finger and explained better.  Way better.

Thank you, Donald Trump, for saving the words. We were about to run out of them. I mean, think how many you used up giving a two and half hour speech! You’ve got some making up to do, Skippy.

And in the interest of participating in your quest to save words, and following in your innovative and genius footsteps, from now on we all will refer to you as Donald Collusion.

You’re very welcome.