You know how when Trump learns something new, he says, “Very few people know…” and then says something that any fourth grader knows.  Something like, “Very few people know that Jupiter is big.  They think it’s small because they can’t see it.”  When that happens you immediately know that the day before he thought Jupiter was small and totally invisible.

New one. If he can’t do it, it’s too complicated.

You really don’t want to know what else he said.

Yes, the Bozo in Chief wants to go back to balsa wood planes and the Wright Brothers’ souped-up model.

Very few people know that the Spirit of St Louie didn’t have a passenger section.  So, we needed to take a step further, but dammit, that’s far enough.

People go to school.  They learn things. You cannot prissy up to the Boeing showroom and ask to test drive one of those things.  Hell, you have to go to school and have a license to give a perm in Texas.  It’s that complicated.

Donald, do you want to know the best example of “an unnecessary step further?” Your hair, Skippy.

Y’all, Eric Trump was either asleep or drunk from 1993 – 2001 and then again in 2008 – 2016.  Allow me to offer proof.  He went on teevee and said this about us —

“I’ve never seen hatred like this, and to me they’re not even people. It’s so, so sad, I mean morality is just gone, morals have flown out the window we deserve so much better than this as a country. You know it’s so sad. You see the democratic party — they’re imploding. They’re imploding. They have no message.”

We are not even people, y’all. Look, I don’t like making fun of slow learners, but holy damn cow, has this boy ever met his dad?

He’s never see this much hatred? He needs to open his eyes because there’s more hatred at the Trump Family Christmas Eve party.

We get morality lessons from the Trumps?  Hell, that alone is immoral.

Okay, okay, this is just too good.  Donald Trump can never admit he’s made a mistake, no matter how small.  He was holding a panel discussion and accidentally referred to Apple’s Tim Cook as Tim Apple.

Simple mistake.  The kind of mistake that most of us make every day. Not Trump.

Trump’s first excuse was that he said Tim  Cook of Apple, but he said the ‘Cook of’ very quietly and the microphone didn’t pick it up.

This morning, after people kept making fun of it, including Time Cook who changed his Twitter handle from @tim_cook to this, Trump decided he needed a better explanation.

So he unholstered his Twitter finger and explained better.  Way better.

Thank you, Donald Trump, for saving the words. We were about to run out of them. I mean, think how many you used up giving a two and half hour speech! You’ve got some making up to do, Skippy.

And in the interest of participating in your quest to save words, and following in your innovative and genius footsteps, from now on we all will refer to you as Donald Collusion.

You’re very welcome.

My friend, Thelma, has become fascinated with the whole idea that there’s a Melania Trump double.

Either that or The Stepford Wife wasn’t fiction.

I dunno, there’s some pictures that make me wonder.

And apparently, it’s a thing.

Okay, so I’m thinking that it would be totally cool to have a body double as long as she’ll agree to do the housework.  Hell, she wouldn’t even have to look like me.

Okay, so you kinda gotta wonder where the hell Marco Rubio was when all the electricity was down in Puerto Rico and we could have done something about it.

He’s all over Twitter having hissy fits about the power being down in Venezuela. He blames it all on President Nicolás Maduro, who does seem to have have taken over in a coup coupled with a stolen election. He says Maduro doesn’t care about his people and that he’s ignoring needed repaires to the country’s infrastructure. That sounds kinda familiar.

Yesterday, Marco breathlessly reports.

And he gets a reply …

Marco saw “Germán Dam” under a story and that was all he needed to know, by gawd!

And so … Marco … I understand your outrage over a country having a sham election for president, that president seeing himself as above the law who won’t listen to the will of the people, and, by the way, when was the last time Trump asked for money for infrastructure?

Stay woke, Marco. You know, glass houses and all that.

Our friend Deb T sent these thoughts and I can’t improve on them any —

Every picture of the president taken by a random golfer at mar-a-lago makes him look like he’s barely clinging to life? Don’t get me wrong, we all need safe spaces where we can let our hair down, no matter how orange. But day-um!  (One more thing, if this doesn’t put to rest the whole Biden is too old thing…)