I’ve been called away for some unexpected good news.  I’ll be back this afternoon.  So, talk amongst yourselves.

Manafort guilty on 8 counts.  Ten other counts are deadlocked.  It’ll be interesting to see the split on those other counts.

Cohen pleads guilty later today.

Warning: DUCK! Expected tweet storm upcoming.

If you missed Lanny Davis on Maddow tonight, try to find it.  According to Davis, Cohen will talk to whoever will listen and he’s got the goods.

And ….

It was a bad night for Republicans.  The second congressman to endorse Trump was indicted today for stealing money from his campaign donations.  Duncan Hunter joins the crook club.

The Fort Bend County, Texas, sheriff’s department has long provided a rich market for discriminating shenanigan collectors.  It’s kinda like if you had a teevee show like American Pickers but called it American Stoopid.  You could film every episode right here.

The sheriff gets to decide how to spend the money seized from drug dealers.  The guidelines are fairly vague about how they spend it, just saying that it has to be for law enforcement.  Sheriff Troy Nehls once spent it on life-size automated shows of himself (you know, like he’s princess Leia) speaking with creepy unmoving eyes about the courthouse rules. It scared the crap outta little children and Thelma filed sexual assault charges over that creepy eyes thing.

This time, they bought a muscle car.  Take a look.

and they explain it.

They intend to use this car to drive around to schools to show little kids not to take drugs.  The on the side of the car, they blissfully ignorantly painted, “This Car was Purchased by Drug Dealers.”

Okay, so you see why little kids want to be drug dealers. Drug dealers can buy cars like this.

Seriously, someone had to approve this advertisement. I want to meet them. So I can slap them.

Let me introduce you to Republican State Senator Konni Burton from Fort Worth. She’s a doozy, Honey.  Konni describes herself as a wife, mother, and lifelong Christian.  I describe her as a money-grubbing, intolerant hypocrite.

Texas does not have a state income tax.  Texas funds government through property taxes.  That’s pretty fair because if you are rich enough to have lots of property or a big fancy pants house, you pay more taxes.  Guess who has lots of property? Konni Burton.

Burton has a nice home near Fort Worth, two beach condos in Port Aransas, and a hundred acre chunk of property near Waco.

So, she’s seeking to change this whole tax business.

Konni wants to do away with property tax in favor of a consumption tax.  Anybody with a pencil can tell you that means a 25% sales tax.  On everything. School supplies, new cars, underpants, and even, according to Konni, house sales.

Okay, I can see all the good folks in Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico rubbing their hands together because Texans are going to fund their schools and government. For example, I can drive to Louisiana in two hours.  They have a Costco in Louisiana. So, if I go stock up for myself and a couple of neighbors and spend $500 at Costco, I save myself over a hundred bucks and use that money to go to a casino or eat gumbo.

But, Honey, I’m not going to go live in Louisiana and that’s why property taxes work.

A Russian oligarch just bought BiteGrid, the company that manages Maryland’s voter registration database and candidate management operations.

I mean, what can you say except that you doubt that he’s up to no bad?  You don’t think this is something that ought to raise temperatures enough to boil blue crabs?

Republican do not appears to be concerned.  Democrats has issued a strong foot stomp.

“We also recently asked Treasury Secretary [Steven] Mnuchin to review the acquisition of ByteGrid in his role as Chairman of the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States,” the Maryland Democrats wrote.

They’re counting on Mnuchin, who is obviously out shopping with his wife?

Find me a senator who can say, “Oh Hell No.”

Thanks to Chloe Bear for the heads up.

Shake your heads, Honey, because it’s time to snicker right here at the beauty salon.

Snicker #1: A Florida congressional candidate says she’s been abducted by aliens in a damn spaceship. Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera says she was abducted by “three blond, big-bodied beings — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have communicated telepathically with her several times in her life, she says.”

You know, like Toni Orlando and Dawn except Norwegian.

Snicker #2:  The Miami Herald has endorsed her, calling her “a strong candidate in the race with plausible conservative ideas.”

Maybe plausible is not plausible.

The newspaper says that her ideas about spaceships and stuff do not interfere with what kind of congresswoman she’d be. Yeah, she’ll hardly even stand out among the other Republican wackos in congress.  It’s like, “Hey, voters, pay no mind that she hears voices in her head. She supports Trump, who also hears voices in his head and that’s worked out just fine.”

There are nine candidates in the Republican primary and this was the best they had. That, little buddies, is what the Republican Party has become.

Thanks to Louis N. for the heads up.