.

I seriously can’t decide if he’s really this stupid or if he’s losing his mind. I mean, who doesn’t know the words to God Bless America?  Or, the story of Dolley Madison?

Texas, whose motto is: Thank God for Mississippi!, came in 47th in a ranking of safest places to live.

The WalletHub study compared various safety indicators across all 50 states, examining data on assaults, mass shootings, thefts, murders, traffic fatalities, workplace injuries, climate disasters and more. Texas came in 47th, just above Oklahoma, Louisiana and Mississippi.

And that didn’t even count the fact that Texas has 157 kinds of snakes and 151 of them can kill you.  It also did not include “Hold my beer and watch this” moments, but I think we’d have taken first place in that.

However, we did take First Place in the number of uninsured citizens.  Thanks, Greg Abbott!

Want to see where your state fell?  Click right here.

Bless Paul Manafort’s heart.  Like most people over 30 years old, he just accepts that computers are magic, and have no knowledge of how it works.

Remember a few months ago when it was revealed that the reason Manafort got caught trying to defraud the government was because he left a paper trail.  And he left a paper trail because he couldn’t convert a PDF to a Word file and had to ask for help.

Oh, the Antics of Captain Keyboard continues.  In the latest charge of witness tampering, Manafort used WhatsApp to send messages to people asking them to lie.  WhatsApp is encrypted so Manafort thought he was safe.  He was wrong. WhatsApp has a setting that automatically backs up the messages to your iCloud account.  Unless that feature is disabled, anybody with a warrant can see your iCloud account with all your WhatsApp messages fully spelled out in a nice order.

No wonder they raided his home by slamming through the front door. The man was fixing to break the Internet.

To deflect attention from the fact that virtually no one from the Philadelphia Eagles wanted to visit the WH to celebrate their Super Bowl victory with the worst president in US history, Trump abruptly cancelled the event yesterday, lying on twitter it was because players refused to stand for the anthem.  Lying again by saying that “1,000 Eagles fans” had come to town, Trump slapped together a “patriotic” celebration on the WH south steps with the Marine Band and Army Chorus.  Since there were actually few Eagles fans there, apparently the WH had to hustle up a bunch of staffers to fill out the the crowd on the south lawn.

But the funny part?  Mr. Super Duper Patriot not only doesn’t know the words to the national anthem, he REALLY doesn’t know words to God Bless America.  Have a look, courtesy of The Daily Show:

I’m baseballing tonight so please feel free to comment on the election results tonight.

Eight states are holding primaries today. Here are the poll closing times in The Texas Time Zone

• 7 p.m.  – Alabama, Mississippi, New Jersey
• 8 p.m. – Montana, New Mexico, South Dakota
• 9 p.m. ET – Iowa
• 10 p.m. ET – California

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