Characters in order of appearance:
Bob Murray – chief executive officer of Murray Energy Corporation, a mining corporation based in St. Clairsville, Ohio. He is one of the largest independent operators of coal mines in the United States.
Donald Trump – supposed president.
Rick Perry – supposed college graduate.
FERC – Federal Energy Regulatory Commission
Action:
Bob Murray: Mr. President, here’s my four-page action plan to have American consumers subsidize my failing company by having the FERC require utilities to buy a three month supply of coal under the guise of ensuring the reliability of the electric grid.
Trump: Why thank you Bob. You should give this to DOE Secretary Rick Perry. He’s an expert on the electric grid because they have electricity in the Governor’s Mansion in Texas. Give him a call – I’ll encourage him to take the meeting with you.
March 29, 2017 – Bob Murray meets with DOE Secretary Rick Perry.
Bob Murray: Mr. President it’s been months since I met with Secretary Perry and he hasn’t acted on my four-page action plan.
Trump: These things take time Bob. Why don’t you try contacting some outside groups that are trying to build public support for the coal industry? Some of my former campaign staffers are working with a group called America First Action.
Bob Murray: Thanks Mr. President, I’ll call them.
August 8th, 2017 – MURRAY ENERGY CORPORATION donates $1,000,000.00 to America First Action
September 29, 2017 – DOE Secretary Rick Perry submits Murray’s action plan to FERC.
January 8, 2018 – FERC unanimously rejects Perry’s action plan.
The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission on Monday unanimously rejected a proposal by Energy Secretary Rick Perry that would have propped up nuclear and coal power plants struggling in competitive electricity markets.
The independent five-member commission includes four people appointed by President Trump, three of them Republicans. Its decision is binding.
Trump: What? All I did was ask Perry to take a meeting with Murray. I never pressured him to do anything about it and I never pressured the FERC to approve it either. Don McGahn says that’s not a bribe after McDonnell v. United States. I love Donny – he’s my new Roy Cohen!
Trump to FERC appointees: Can you believe that schmuck!?!? He actually thought we’d do it! What an idiot! A million bucks! I used to have to go all the way to fucking Batumi to endorse a fake Trump Tower project to make a million bucks.
Yeah, this presidency thing is a great scam – much easier than selling condos to Russian oligarchs for twice the fair market value so they can get their money out of Russia.
Heh, heh, heh.
Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen.