If you’re not watching MSNBC, the New York Times has a front page story for tomorrow that will knock your socks off.

Plus, at the same time, the Washington Post is reporting that Jeff Sessions lied during his hearing about contacts he had with Russia.

You know how the Trumpies call us snowflakes?  Well, a blizzard is coming, fellas.

Iowa Republican State Senator Mark Chelgren got himself semi-famous by wanting to put caps on the number of Democrats that state universities can hire as professors.

Chelgren thinks we have way too many Democrats teaching our college students.  You would suspect he knows that from personal experience because he claims to have a business degree from Forbco Management school.

But, it ain’t that simple. It never is with Republicans.

But State Sen. Mark Chelgren’s alleged alma mater is actually a company that operated a Sizzler steak house franchise in southern California and he doesn’t have a “degree,” Ed Failor, a spokesman for the Iowa State Republicans, told NBC News.

“This was a management course he took when he worked for Sizzler, kind of like Hamburger University at McDonald’s,” Failor said. “He got a certificate.”

Well hell, I have a certificate from Miss Betty Lou’s College of Baton Twirling but that don’t mean I can even twirl a damn baton, much less comment on the state of the American University system.  Truth be known, I spent the money my Momma gave me for baton lessons over at the Woolworth’s on makeup and eye shadow.  Then I bribed Miss Betty Lou, who was kinda a souse, with a six-pack of Pearl Beer, which was the official beer of high school parking lot make-out session, and she gave me a certificate.  Momma never knew, except for the fact that I konked myself on the head whenever I tried to twirl that thing.

And, oh no, he didn’t stop there.  He kept lying.

“I don’t know if they are still in business or not,” Chelgren said. “The school was created by Forbco Management, and I got a degree in hotel restaurant management.”

When Chelgren did not respond to several requests to provide a copy of a diploma or some other proof that he attended Forbco Management school, NBC News reached out to the Iowa State Senate Majority Leader’s office.

He now claims to have attended the University of California at Riverside for three years.

University spokesman John Warren confirmed that Chelgren attended the school in 1992 and 1993 “with a major in physics.”

Yeah, no wonder he didn’t get a degree.  His math skills are weak.

You cannot take your eyes off these people, y’all.

Okay, so you guys know Crazy Butt Sid Miller, the Texas Agriculture Commissioner who is so crooked that we’re gonna have to screw him in the ground when he dies.

Old Sid got himself an idea.  Feral hogs are a problem in Texas, unless you kill them and feed them to your family, in which case they are not too bad.

So several years ago, Old Sid came up with an idea that it should be legal to shoot wild hogs from a helicopter.  He pronounced that there are two million feral hogs every year. He accuses them of eating newborn lambs, uprooting crops and “entire city parks,” trampling across highways and causing more than $50 million in damage a year.  Well, he got that passed but surprisingly, there were not enough weird Texans who wanted to kill animals from a helicopter.

So Old Sid has a new solution.  He wants to make it legal to kill hogs with warfarin.  You know, blood thinners.

It kills them slowly, often painfully, and turns their innards blue. It’s already wiped out swine herds in Australia, which later banned the product as inhumane.

Old Sid likes to watch things suffer. It’s where he gets his agriculture super powers.  But, there are problems. More than 3,000 members of the Texas Hog Hunters Association signed a petition against Miller’s chemical war. They have some questions even outside of making hogs needlessly suffer.

“If this hog is poisoned, do I want to feed it to my family?” the group’s vice president, Eydin Hansen, asked the Dallas CBS affiliate. “I can tell you, I don’t.”

How will you know you’re not eating a poisoned hog?

And how will deer, squirrels, and other Texas wildlife not know that the hog poison is only for hogs? They can’t read worth a crap.

You think Old Sid gives a horse’s patootie about stuff like that? Oh hell, no.

His solution?  He wants to put 10 pound lids on the poison.  Damn hogs will need to be trained first to put it back when they finish, I suspect.

“We do have very serious concerns about non-target species,” state wildlife veterinarian Jim LaCour told the Times-Picayune.

Even if only hogs can get to the bait, LaCour said, “they’re going to drop crumbs on the outside.” Those crumbs might then be eaten by rodents, which might be eaten by birds, and thus warfarin could spread throughout the ecosystem.

So the newspaper called Old Sid and asked about these things.  He poo-pooed them all and said – and I am quoting exactly here,

“If you want them gone, this will get them gone,” the commissioner told the Statesman.

And that’s all that really matters, you know.  What the hell if they take a few people with them.  Let’s just get them dead so vultures can eat them and get sick and then poop on … yeah, Old Sid.

Nice idea, Sid.

Thanks to Debbo for the first heads up.

Texas State Senator Don Huffines (whose name SpellCheck ironically keeps insisting is Huffiness).

Huffines represents the Dallas area.  Some Texas high school students from his district came to visit him at the capitol.  They were rightly concerned about “school choice” that Huffines supports like it was his own idea.

They asked how it could be fair when it wasn’t enough money for low income families to pay for private school? Huffines huffed up and lectured them thusly:

“Do you want me to give them $15,000? Is that what you want? So they can all go to Hockaday, so they can all go to St. Mark’s?” Huffines asked, referring to two expensive private schools in Dallas. “You want to give them a full tuition? That is the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard.”

Them?  We can’t let all of “them” go to Hockaday or St. Mark’s.  “Them” can’t have full tuition because that would be selfish of “them.”  But, by gawd, it is not selfish of the fine upstanding rich kids at St. Mark’s or Hockaday to exercise their right to be rich. After all, they earned that by choosing to be born in the right family. If you wanted to go to St. Marks, you should have picked better parents, but you didn’t. Shame on you for being selfish like that.

When the students suggested that the money to fund school choice come from the citizenry, Huffines corrected them.  Nope, he says, “62% of all property taxes come from businesses.”  Well, there you go – a justification for business to make a profit off of school children.

You don’t believe me about all this, do ya?  Well, here’s the best two minutes you’ll spend today watch raw unadulterated Republican greed.

There is, however, an upside to all this – it seems his district is raining some informed voters and – ta da! – His district was carried by Hillary Clinton last November.  He knows his days are numbered.

He later apologized for the tone of his remarks but not the facts.

Hey Huffines – those kids and their public school educations are coming after you and you ain’t got a chance.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.