One of the things on my bucket list is the World Championship Punkin’ Chunkin’ contest.  I love contraptions.  I also love gizmos, thingamabobs, and doohickies.  So one year I’m gonna rent a camper and go watch this thing of beauty.

I just learned that I may not have to go far.  In response to Donald Trump’s threat of building a wall down the middle of Rio Grande River, Mexican drug kings have an answer.

Seriously —

Checkmate, Mr. Trump.

I have told you guys about Sid Miller, the Texas Agriculture Commissioner, being a man who is so crooked that he has to screw on his socks in the morning.

It ain’t gonna get any better.

Travis County prosecutors will not press criminal charges against Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller for tapping taxpayer funds for two trips that involved personal activities — including an appearance in a Mississippi rodeo and the receipt of a medical injection in Oklahoma called the “Jesus Shot.”

The reason?

“Our office has determined that criminal intent would be difficult to prove in this case.”

So that means Miller is too stoopid to know right from wrong.  That’s kinda sad.

Here’s the cute part.

In her memo, Oswald [the prosecutor] wrote “it is clear that Commissioner Miller used campaign and state funds to pay for the two trips,” but noted that he had fully repaid the state.

“Additionally, the total amount spent on the trips was relatively small, the state has been refunded all the money it expended on these trips, and the facts have been made known publicly so that Commissioner Miller is likely to be more careful in the future,” the memo said.

So if I rob a bank in Austin of just a little money and then pay it back we’re okay?

Plus, there’s that whole idea that Sid Miller will be more careful.  Yeah, when gators fly.

A statement posted Tuesday to Miller’s Facebook account said the commissioner was “pleased this process is now complete and that he has been cleared of any wrongdoing.”

Sid says he didn’t do nothing wrong.  Because Sid is too dumb to recognize wrong even if it had a name tag and a siren.

It is county fair time in Texas and that calls for a float or two.

Oh, look, here’s one at the Tri-State rodeo/parade up in north Texas.

I’m going to show you several pictures, and them I’m gonna tell you something.  This is a float purporting to be Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in jail.

.

That is not a prison cell.  That is a cage.  And they damn well know it.

The float was organized by a group called Stars and Bars and rode along side the Confederate Riders of America. They said the float was strictly a political message.

And the Confederate Riders of America are shocked, shocked I tell you, that we find it racist.

It’s a damn cage.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.

Remember when I told you about the 22 year old frat boy, Zac Cossum, who was setting up phony Political Action Committees faster than jackrabbit with wheels?

Well, the long, slow arm of the Federal Elections Commission caught up with Zac but they throw letters at problems because they have a whole lot of paper but oh so little authority.

It seems that Zac’s PAC (hey, that almost rhymes!) where he claimed to be raising money for Donald Trump, managed to get $12,637 worth of damfools to send him money.  How much did Trump get?  So far, diddle squat.  He shows he spent $1048.92 for “operating expenses” and we all know that Zac is an operator.

So the FEC wants to know where the $12,637 went.  I’m gonna suspect Zac’s pocket but I might be wrong.  Yeah, right.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

The Washington Post just nailed Trump on criminal tax evasion.  Crooked Donald.

The money he misused from his charity wouldn’t amount to a hill of beans to a rich man.  $280,000 is pocket change to a billionaire.  Risky behavior over $280,000 is not what a rich man does.

Honey, he’s so crooked that they are going to have to screw him into the ground when he dies.

To think that the Federal Election Commission has doubts about the validity of this candidate for President!

Oh yeah, they’ll accept Donald Trump as a legitimate candidate but turn their noses up at Yeshua KingofKings Lord JesusChrist HolyOne?

There is something I would like to see, though.

I would love to see the signature.  I suspect it’s not written in Arabic.

And you would think that Yeshua KingofKings Lord JesusChrist HolyOne could de better than Club Entrepreneur rent-an-office. Hell, I didn’t even know Yeshua KingofKings Lord JesusChrist HolyOne was an entrepreneur.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.