Y’all, I heard the oddest thing this morning.  I am certain it’s not true.  It just cannot be true.

First I heard that Donald Trump is going to take Chris Christy with him to his security briefing.  That just can’t be true.  That has to be one of those satire sites, right?  Goodness gracious, what does a failed governor know or even need to know international affairs?  What? Is he gonna scream at anyone who challenges the United States? Close their bridge? Hell, that might mean Secretary of State Chris Christy.  So see, that couldn’t be right.

But, I’m afraid to look.

And then, holy cow, I heard that Trump had hired the entire wacked-out staff of Brietbart to take over his campaign. What? Louie Gohmert wasn’t available? Brietbart is Louie Gohmert with too much caffeine.  Breitbart people couldn’t run an apple peeler or a shower curtain but they are running a presidential campaign? Next, Trump will think they can run country.

See, that’s why I can’t look. I just can’t.

Rick Perry, y’all.  The boy is sick.  Something is wrong with that boy.

He has taken to the airwaves to blast Khizr Khan for daring to speak against Donald Trump.  Prepared your insides for this one.

Former Gov. Rick Perry is defending Donald Trump’s war of words with the family of a fallen Muslim soldier, saying the father “struck the first blow” against the Republican presidential nominee and is not above criticism in return.

“In a campaign, if you’re going to go out and think that you can take a shot at somebody and not have incoming coming back at you, shame on you,” Perry said in an interview Tuesday on CNN.

Where the hell has Rick Perry been since Trump behaved like a brute about this?  This was the turning point in Trump’s downfall.  And now, now!, Rick Perry is picking up the ball and reminding everyone what hateful, idiotic people that Republicans are because, you know, without Rick Perry to remind us, we might forget.

Perry got it backasswards, as usual.  Trump wants to say outrageous things but nobody better “have incoming”.  Trump can dish it out but he sure can’t take it.  And by the damn way, not that it really matters a whole helluva a lot, but Trump threw the first punch by wanting to keep Muslims from coming to America.

It’s Rick in Wonderdamnland.

On Tuesday, Perry made clear he saw Khizr Khan as fair game. He insisted he admires veterans and their families, but said the patriarch “politically used his time on that stage to go after Donald Trump.”

Was Perry drunk the night that the woman who lost her son in Benghazi called Hillary Clinton a murderer?  Nobody called her names because she has a right to her opinion.

I am dumbfounded.  Why would they keep up a fight they have clearly lost?  Rick, shuddup.  You are not getting a job in the Trump administration because there’s not going to be a Trump administration.

Good Lord, even Greg Abbott came to the defense of Mr. Khan.

Oh, Rick.  Oh bless your cowboy heart.  You got kicked in the head at your last rodeo, son.

Well, it’s back to school time for the kids to go back to school and learn stuff from their  overworked, underpaid, and unappreciated teachers.

Except in Oklahoma.

Lorie Ann Hill, 49, was booked into jail in Wagoner, Oklahoma after she apparently she showed up for her first day of work as a special education instructor at Wagoner High School intoxicated, reported Tulsa World.

School officials contacted police about 9 a.m. after Hill was described as being alone in a classroom “disoriented and without pants,” Police Chief Bob Haley said.

Hill allegedly admitted to drinking vodka before coming to work and was charged with public intoxication.

Ya gotta appreciate that it took them an hour to figure out that she wasn’t dressed and sober.

Thanks to Rob for the heads up.

I hope this does not jinx us!

The Leader of the Republican Party and their Standard Bearer Donald Trump has hired disgraced former Fox News Chief Roger Ailes to advise him on the upcoming debates with Hillary Clinton.

Really.

Ailes, whose resemblance to Jabba the Hut is remarkable, will probably loan Trump the metal bikini and neck collar that he made Gretchen Carlson wear.

Ailes is the perfect guy to advise Trump.  Since Carlson filed suit, twenty more women have come forward to say that Ailes sexually harassed them.

And just when you thought that Trump couldn’t get scummier.

Remember the internet machine’s craze over the color of that dress?  Is it white and gold or blue and black?

Headline in today’s New York Times.

Okay, how do you broaden something that ain’t there in the first place?  Hell, the entire MIT engineering department couldn’t do that even on a beer bet from the Harvard engineering department.

The New York Times says that Trump has different campaign style.

His preferred style of politicking consists almost entirely of addressing arena-size rallies, conducting media interviews and receiving visitors in private at events or at his Manhattan skyscraper.

So, Honey, what they are saying is that Donald Trump is definitely white and gold.

The black and blue dress will be voting blue in record numbers, thank you very much to Donald Trump.

It’s not so much that Trump has ignored African Americans, it’s that he’s been rude, dismissive, and even hostile toward the African American community.

From now on, whenever I see Donald Trump, I will think of him in the white and gold dress.  Enjoy that image, folks.