I want to you watch this YouTube about a little diner in Liverpool, New York, that is filled with some genuine rightwing gun lovin’ Obama-hatin’, anti-human kindness empty calories.

Michael Tassone is what you would call the typical American conservative: he lives in fear and hates everything. His diner’s menu is full of clever plate names like “The Obama Plate,” consisting eggs and toast for $3.69 with a tax of $27. Yes, very clever. He also features the “Anti-Michelle Obama Don’t Tell Me What To Eat Or Feed My Kids Burger.” Lots of effort went into making this diner the perfect place for idiots to eat.

 

Well, as you probably guess, that picture of Tassone look an awful lot like a mug shot because that’s what it is.

You’re gonna love the hell out of this.

The owner of a diner whose menu includes a “Dictator Obama” egg special that comes with a grossly inflated tax has admitted he defrauded the government of more than $23,000 in welfare benefits.

Tassone paid $23,354 in restitution to the Onondaga County Department of Social Services as part of the disposition of the five-year-old case, Senior Assistant District Attorney Michael Kasmarek said.

I am certain that Obama made him do it.

It was Medicaid fraud.

Okay, so remember when the Nominee of the Republican Party (another name for Trump so people don’t forget about the other Republican candidates who support him) anyway, remember how he just had himself a conniption fit because the father of the Orlando shooter attended a Hillary Clinton rally?

Well, as he was saying that, lookie who was sitting right behind the Nominee of the Republican Party —

Recognize that guy?

I’ll be damned if it isn’t Mark Foley, the disgraced Florida congressman who was forced to resign his seat in 2006 when it was discovered that he had sent lewd text message to teenage congressional pages.

Oh well, maybe they had a Dirty Ole Men get-together afterwards.

The Leader of the Republican Party (my new name for Trump) has repeatedly said that Leader of the Democratic Party (President Barack Obama) founded Isis.  And that Isis was co-founded by Hillary Clinton.

I think George W Bush ought to sue Trump for giving Obama the credit for his work.

Y’all, Liz Cheney is baaaack.

After she bombed in a terribly embarrassing race for both herself and her mother, she has now decided to run for Wyoming’s open House seat.

In large part because of her name recognition, Cheney is expected to win next Tuesday’s eight-way primary for the at-large seat. Current GOP Rep. Cynthia Lummis is retiring at the end of the term.

However, there are 8 people in the race so that pretty much makes it a crap shoot.  But, there is the semi-shocking fact that she has 15 times the amount of campaign money than her closest competitor.  And who is giving her all that money?  The usual suspects.

Besides donations from both former Bush presidents, she’s received contributions from, among others, GOP establishment heavyweights like former secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld, former Republican National Committee chair Ken Mehlman, former George W. Bush senior adviser Karl Rove, former national security adviser Stephen J. Hadley, former Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott and Texas Rep. Pete Sessions.

That’s so cute – she’s a daddy’s girl.

Her campaign slogan:  Restore the Bush-Cheney White House to the Congress!  (Not really, I just made that up.)

I always like her smarter sister better.

Thanks to everybody for the head up.

Customers maryelle and Rhea suggested books about Trump’s level of knowledge in the world.   Incredibly, a secret manuscript for just such a book has come into my possession.

What I Know… by Donald J Trump, future President of America, Esq.

This is a very hard book to write but a very easy book to write, OK, because I know everything. Every. Thing. And what I don’t know about things like oh, the “Nuclear Tryout” I can probably learn about in oh, an hour. I’m that smart. Really. That smart. Believe me when I tell you, I’m smart. I ought to know, because I have a magnificent brain, and it knows smart from dumb. Winners are smart. Losers are dumb. And since I am the biggest winner of all time, I am also therefore the smartest winner of all time, and everyone who loses to me is dumber than me. It stands to reason.

What I know about politics is I won. I beat 16 other people to become the nominee. Hillary only had to beat 1 guy, and he was pretty used up, already, so I am at least 16 times smarter than she is, and 16 times the politician. I beat a black guy, an actual brain surgeon, because the blacks love me. I beat a broad, because the women, they love me. Oh, how they love me. They call me to find out if I will make them first lady instead of Melania. Come up to me on the street. “Oh, Mr Trump, you are such a man. I wish my husband were 1/16th the man you are.”

I beat not one but TWO Cubans, because the Hispanics love me. And they respect me, they respect my deep respect for their cultural goodness like taco salads in actually eatable bowls. Which was entirely my idea. Many people say to me “Mr Trump, that was entirely your idea. And they stole it.” I tell them, that’s OK. Don’t worry. My lawyers are on it.

I beat John Kasich, beat him like a drum, because the poors, they love me. He can spout all he wants about Christian values to the poors, but I know Two Corinthians, and they tell me that I am the greatest Christian since Christ. “Mr Trump, if you had been born first, Jesus would have been a Trumpian.” All the poors tell me that.

So I know I’m a winner, and everyone wants to be like me, or at least be allowed to be near me. Very few are allowed, let me tell you, very few, it’s an exclusive club, but without the secret handshake. Because germs. Germs can kill you. It’s why we fought the Great War and the other great War, the big one, WWII, back when wars were great. Vietnam was not so great, so I didn’t go. I like wars where we win, OK? Not loser wars. The world wars are great, when we fought against the Germs and their Germ Warfare.  And we won by dropping the nuclear bomb on them after the Nuclear Tryout.

I know I will make wars great again, and they will be winning wars. We will win so many wars when I am President that people will say “Oh, Mr Trump, we can’t take all this winning. Can you give us a break and maybe lose a war? Just a small one.” Nope, can’t do it. Because losing wars is dumb. Which makes me smarter than the generals who lose them all. Every war has been lost by a general. Think about that.   Every war has been lost by the generals. That’s why I’m so smart. This I know. The generals, they only know how to lose. Only I know how to win. Like with more nuclear tryouts. Why have them if you’re not going to try them out?

Let’s see, other things I know: I’m fabulously rich. I’m richer than anyone else who has ever been dumb enough to subtract liabilities from assets except in a tax return, which I cannot show you, because then everyone will find out how. I have the best health ever for someone of my age and health. I’ve never been to a psychiatrist who lived. Oh, here’s something else very important I know: if you mix a late night snack of Cheetos and Orange Crush, do NOT stand in front of the microwave while you are warming it up. A word to the wise is deficient.

Some people are saying that Hillary Clinton is evil, or crazy, or sick, or lying, or taking guns, or losing, or dumb, or crooked, or a murderer. Sad! I am not the type of person to repeat these rumors, but people are saying it. So there must be something there.  So it bears repeating, but I’m not the guy repeating it.  I’m just the guy retweeting it.  Not the same.

In fact, I know there’s “something there.” There’s always something there. I am not losing this election, because I am smart, and smart people are winners, so I’m a winner, which makes me smart, which makes me not dumb, which makes me not a loser.   So for all the people to be saying I’m losing right now means the entire world is rigged. It’s rigged, people. Any time I lose, it’s because someone cheated who wasn’t me. Therefore, I never really lose. Which makes me the biggest winner of all time. At a séance, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great gave me the rest of the world, just gave it to me, like a purple heart, because next to me they are losers. And also dead. But they said to me “Mr Trump, blah blah blah” because they don’t speak English, which also makes them unusuable to come to this country on one of my world-famous H1-B visas.

The Most Interesting Man in the World? I’m still waiting for my residuals from a MEXICAN BEER stealing my biography. Not even an American beer! Dos Equis! They couldn’t come up with a real American-sounding name like Budweiser, Leinenkugel or like that? I’m sorry to tell you, that the Wall will also keep out non-American beers.  But I have a lawyer looking into the other.  Stay tort-y, my friends.  I invented that line.

Hey, Rhea, I do know this! I am way past half a side of paper so… Nyah! And trees are over-rated. So hoax-y, with the global warming and the climate change and the carbon whatevers. Too much political correctness with the trees and the hugging. It’s disgusting! What’s next, marrying them?

Oh yeah, that reminds me. I beat Lindsey Graham because the gays, they love me. But not like the women do, OK? Nobody loves anybody in the history of the world the way they love me, especially the women, OK? Nobody in the history of the world.  Especially the low education ones.  Especially.  Them.   Low-education, it loves me.  I will be the low-education President.

That’s all I know.

The End

You guys remember Martin Shkrell, the guy who decided to get rich by raising the price of a life saving run from $13.50 to $750 each.

You guys remember when Martin Shkreli was indicted and arrested on changes of securities fraud and free on bail pending trial.

You guys remember when Martin Shkreli endorsed Donald trump for President.

Well, he has a new goal now.

PD is Parkinson’s Disease and levodopa is the drug used to help patients manage the symptoms.

Look, I have not been to psychiatrist school because, let’s face it, I’m not smart enough but I know a cocky loudmouthed rude sumbitch when I see one.

Thanks to Rob for the heads up.