Archive for March, 2016

Somebody Please Buy Mitch McConnell A Damn Mirror

March 17, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I do not understand why when Mitch McConnell opens his mouth, a little sign saying “Irony” doesn’t pop out of his forehead.

mitchmcconnellSenate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Wednesday the Senate will not consider President Barack Obama’s nomination of Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court.

Obama did it “not with the intent of seeing the nominee confirmed, but in order to politicize it for the purpose of the election,” the Kentucky Republican said.

Damn.  Does this guy not hear what he’s saying?

Obama is being political?  What?  Is refusing to give the nominee a hearing is straight outta the Constitution?  Does it now say that congress can advise, consent, or ignore?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Shooting Craps

March 17, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If you’re a betting person, Nate Silver has some numbers for you before you roll the dice and lose your $2.

In taking back the Senate, Silver says

 

Republicans are vulnerable because a number of their blue- and purple-state senators who won election in the Republican wave year of 2010 are now on the ballot again. Furthermore, Trump could have a negative effect on down-ballot races; so could Ted Cruz, or someone nominated after a contested convention.

In what Silver calls back-of-an-envelope math, he comes up with this.

A 40 percent chance of President Clinton with a Democratic Senate.
A 30 percent chance of Clinton with a Republican Senate.
A 20 percent chance of President Trump (probably with a Republican Senate).
A 10 percent chance of Cruz, John Kasich or some other Republican.

Of course, these numbers mean something gooey and sticky to Republican senators.  If they don’t allow a hearing on President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, will Hillary Clinton and a Democratic Senate nominate Bernie Sanders for the Supreme Court?  Okay, so not Bernie but likely someone far more liberal than Merrick Garland.

Polling suggests that a majority of the public wants the Senate to hold hearings on the next justice. Thus, blocking the appointment of Garland could hurt Republicans at the margin and further reduce their chances of keeping the Senate.

Silver also argues that the Republican base isn’t near as big as we thought it was.

Yeah, but it’s just as dumb and mean as we always suspected.

 

Cruz News: Yucky Thought Edition

March 16, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The latest Cruz News is that Governor Nikki Haley is endorsing him.

That makes me shiver even in the damn Texas heat.

I have no idea why Haley doesn’t get “Vice Presidential Fresh Meat” stamped on on her forehead.  That would be far less obvious than dumping Marco Rubio like he belched at an office party.

 

marco-rubio-nikki-haley-endorsement-r

Such a cute couple of wacky kids.

She’s just one click better than Sarah Palin.  I think Haley has read a book.  One.

Thanks to TG for the heads up.

 

 

Oh Pete.

March 16, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, I almost skipped over this story when Fred Farklestone sent it to me this morning because I thought, “Well, even ole Fred got fooled by a satire story.”

Screen Shot 2016-03-16 at 9.01.49 AM

This is true.  Texas Congessfool Pistol Pete Sessions introduced a resolution about magic.

It’s even been posted for the betterment of the nation on congress.gov.

PeteSessionsWhereas magic is an art form with the unique power and potential to impact the lives of all people;

Whereas magic enables people to experience the impossible;

Whereas magic is used to inspire and bring wonder and happiness to others;

Whereas magic, like the great art forms of dance, literature, theater, film, and the visual arts, allows people to experience something that transcends the written word;

No.  Just no.  It’s magic.  It’s a trick.  It ain’t real.

The only magic involved here is that Pistol Pete can find his office to the office.  The secret to that trick is that somebody has to walk him.

Thanks to Fred for the heads up.

The Supremes

March 16, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Poor Senate Republicans.  Not only do they face the prospect that 2 of the 3 men left running for their Party’s nomination are a choice between a guy they all hate and a guy who’s Donald Trump, but this morning they wake up to  —

President Barack Obama will announce his nomination for the Supreme Court today at 11:00 DeeCee time.

And odds are pretty good that it’s gonna be a highly qualified minority.  Wrong!

And from all anybody can tell, he’s a moderate.

Next up: Senate Republicans incidence of work-related self-injuries exceed the national average.

.

Hoochy East Texas Style

March 15, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I want y’all to meet Republican County Judge Joel Baker of Smith County.  Joel is a dedicated Christian and he wants you to know it.

d3e6ccec27164b3972a9ea7d235bdb51_f37As a Christian with an unequivocal faith in God, Joel does his best to honor God each day through daily work and worship and service at Marvin United Methodist Church.

You know, except when he’s sexting.

Yes, sireeeee, the guy who is the county judge was sexting with a total stranger while he was in his office, sitting on the Judicial Conduct Committee judging other judges’ behavior, and damn near everywhere else.

And he even sent pictures of his winkie to a total stranger.

It’s not the first time Judge Baker, that fine Republican church-going man, has been caught doing some powerfully weird stuff.

photo 2In 2011, he was  investigated for taking pictures of a young woman who rented a house next to property he owned.  The police pretty much gave him an unwarranted walk on it, and the sheriff even endorsed him for reelection.  This guy was screaming for help.

So y’all go on ahead and let Louie Gohmert know that we have something to add to the museum and it’s a doozy.  The only thing that belongs in that museum is a whole bucket of hypocrisy.